Dominant Women and Submissive Men, what traits do you find attractive?

Question

I believe this is self-explanatory. I am asking the Dommes (Dominant Females) and male Subs what traits they find attractive in whatever gender they like.

And I mean, outside of sex. I mean if you are dominant/submissive IN RELATIONSHIPS. If you're a woman who's dominant, or a man who's submissive, what do you find attractive in people?

The reason why I'm asking this is because I had a talk with a good friend of mine, involving what people bring to the table, and what they find attractive. In my case, it's traditionally masculine traits in women (I'm straight). So basically, tomboyishness. So I'm curious to know what works for my peers, romantically. Dommes and Subby men/boys, what works for you? What do you find attractive?

Warven22 · Accepted Answer

While I am majority dominant in my relationship, I think taller than me and muscular. Like pick me up for a bear hug. Not a body builder, but they could flex.

Anything to make me feel protected so I can be vunerable

nodnol32 · Accepted Answer

Dominant women often know what they want. Its no nonsense. They're better at making decisions too.

Anonymous · Answer

It kind of goes both ways for me. In some ways I'm dominant in others I'm submissive. I hate violence and avoid it as much as possible but I also won't run away from a fight if I have to for a good reason but to give you an idea of how much I hate violence the last time I tried to kick someone's ass he punched me three times in the same eye before I escalated to violence.

He was a bitch too because after three consecutive eye shots I didn't even get a black eye the next day. It was actually pathetic, kicking his ass wouldn't have even been satisfying. The only reason I didn't rip him to shreds is another person got involved and held me back while the douche bags friend tried to get him in the car.

He was also punching a woman which is why I got involved in the first place, but I hate violence so much it took 3 punches to make me see red. In fact, I tried deescalating up until the third punch because I was trying to prevent violence and talk him down and get him to go home.

So, when it comes to conflict, I'm typically submissive up until you make me snap. Then you better pray because I use nails teeth and cheap shots because if you managed to piss me off that much you don't deserve a fair fight, so you won't get one. At that point my goal is pain and teaching him a lesson. I want him to be crying by the time I'm done.

Further on the submissive side sometimes it's nice to feel vulnerable with someone you trust and that's most of it for me. I like knowing I don't always have to be in the lead or necessarily conform to normal rolls. I struggle with mental health issues and frankly I think would be best as a stay-at-home husband.

That said I'm fine with the role reversal. I'll cook; I'll clean I'll take care of any hypothetical kids and family members do the house maintenance and fix things shovel snow etc. I'm honestly more of a lover than a fighter so I prefer when things are stable and quiet, and I can just focus on simple tasks and taking care of someone. I honestly prefer to give care rather than be in the opposite role. At the end of the day, I'm a lover not a fighter.

That said being dominant can be fun sometimes too. I do feel like a man when I fight for the right reasons, and I won't run from a fight if there is no way out without violence, I'm not a runner. I'd rather get my ass beat on principle than back down like a bitch. Sometimes a fight is worth losing even if you walk away beat up and bloody.

At least then you have your dignity because you stood up for what was right and said to hell with the consequences. If you do that, you'll be more of a man than the guy who beat your ass just because he proved his shitty character and you proved your honor. It doesn't matter how beaten and bloody you are, only you walk away the REAL winner in the end. If the only way you can impose your will is violence, you're not a man, you're an insecure bitch.

Being dominant is also attractive to woman and sometimes it's feels good to show off a little and show that side of you. It helps make you feel valuable and important. I'll always fight for my SO the moment it's needed and to hell with the consequences. Honestly, it's really more a personality trait than anything. I like giving care and nurturing to people I love; it's kind of just how I am.

Following the wars in the world has only strengthened my views on this too. It makes me want to show more love but also be more protective too. Still, it's only soured my dislike of violence even more. Every man is a tough hard ass who can do anything until they know what a real-life beheading looks like or the sound a mother makes when she's watching her babies burn alive like a pig roast.

I've seen ISIS footage of them sawing the heads off of gay people and pictures of hospitalized children ripped up with shrapnel from Russian drones. Take my word for it you don't need to see these things don't click on those videos you can't unsee it when you know how much humans can hate each other and how cruel we can be to each other. I'm begging you don't look this stuff up it, chips at your soul.

Following the news is good and so is contributing how you can but trust me you don't need to see the pictures and you don't need to watch the videos. Don't do this to yourself unless you think you can live with the image of a dead 5-year-old on a park bench whose corpse ends at the nose because a block of shrapnel sliced off the top of his head leaving his body there like he's still relaxing on the bench having lunch.

Anonymous · Answer

I like dominant, sporty, tomboyish type of girls, who are self-confident, assertive, and who like to take initiative.

Anonymous · Answer

I like strong but submissive men.

Iron_Man · Answer

I don’t like dominate women

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