At first he was mystical, seemed though. But under that was the sweetest man I have ever met. He loved me in a way I never thought I would ever be loved. He became the best friend I ever had. I want to take care of him, support him. I know its crazy but I long to have his children. I think nothing would make me happier than bringing another human into this world, half me half him.
The problem is obvious but also more complicated than it may seem. The religious aspect is the minor issue. My family is one of those elitist arab families. Its horrible. I can’t even freely chose any arab muslim guy, there’s requirements to be met. First and most important is the family, the clan. Their class, social status and family history.
Me and my now ex unwillingly broke up. Due to the pandemic I moved back home. I want a future with him and so does he but how? He doesn’t want me to lose my family and neither do I. He knows he won’t be accepted, he will be judged and tested. His family have struggled with poverty and he doesn’t have much. I feel like he doesn’t have the confidence to face them. Not without being accomplished first. He told me that he wants the best for me and that wouldn’t be causing problems between me and my family. His ex got kicked out of her home for dating him and he seems to be traumatised by that. He was made out to be the bad guy at the time. He’s told me to move on if I meet someone more suited for me. And that if an opportunity for us to be together comes then at that time he will never let me go again. Since we broke up we still talk every day.
What do I do? I can’t give him up. This is the only time I met a man I want as my life partner.
Do what makes you happy. Life is short and it's as simple as that, the path to happiness is never an easy one and in your case it seems like you'll have to sacrifice something to find it.
What it really comes down to is value, if you pick your family, will you be able to live with them knowing they stopped you from being with the person you love? Is it worth it? If you pick your ex, you'd have to live with hurting your family, but why are you hurting them exactly? To be with someone who treats you well and makes you happy? That's no crime.
If your parents love you, they'll eventually come around even if that takes many years. Sure, you could find someone else, but what are the chances you won't always think back to your ex, compare and wonder what if? If you think you'll be okay without him and that you'd have no problems loving someone else, I understand why you'd pick your family, but if you don't think you can do that, reconsider.