Does it seem like this guy is interested in me just as a friend or as something more?

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. I just got out of a relationship a couple of months ago. I haven’t gone on any dates and am not really actively trying to, but I am wondering if this guy I know is interested in me. We met a few years ago in college. We are both mid twenties now. We’ve always been friends on social media, but never really close friends in real life. He responded to one of my Instagram stories a few weeks ago and we have been chatting back and forth ever since. We went out for coffee a couple of weeks ago and ended up caching up and talking for a few hours. When he texts me, he seems super engaged - messages are long, he asks questions, etc. But, he will randomly stop responding or will wait hours (and sometimes even a day or two) to text me back. I made some cupcakes this weekend and posted them on Facebook. He asked if he could have some, and I said he could come over and sample them. He then asked me what kind of sweet stuff I liked. I told him that lately I really liked hot chocolate lately. So he came over tonight and I gave him some cupcakes. He ended up surprising me and giving me a nice tin of hot chocolate mix in exchange for the cupcakes. He also stayed and we chatted and talked for about 3 hours. I’m still not sure what the vibe of our hangouts is. I don’t know if he sees this as more of a friend thing or possibly more? What do you all think? Also, what would you do to amp up the flirting or to gauge his interest? Thanks!

[Gagname]

This guy is definitely interested in you. He might just be slow-walking things because he doesn’t want to ruin anything by going too fast.

You guys have been chatting for a few weeks, and had coffee together, and talked for a few hours a couple of times... He wouldn’t be putting in all this time with you if he wasn’t interested in you a lot.

Don’t worry about the random stops or breaks in his chatting—everyone’s got other things going on, plus he probably doesn’t want to appear too needy by continually chatting with you.

You guys nicely stepped up your relationship—first him by asking you if he could have some of your cupcakes, and then you by responding that he could come over, and then him by getting you a thoughtful tin of hot chocolate.

He definitely sees you as a possible long term thing... unless he is gay (jk).

You should do some “girl things” when you’re around him to let him know that you’re interested in him—like twirling your hair in your fingers, and sitting close to him sometimes and maybe touching his arm a little, and laughing at his jokes and throwing in a compliment here or there (like: “oh, don’t you look nice,” or “ooh, you smell so good,” or “you’re too funny”).

[Asker]

Thanks for your input! I am developing a crush on him so I hope so! Haha

I just worry about the text responding time. Because when he is responding the messages are great and he is asking questions - but I don’t understand why he sometimes waits 1-2 days to respond to me. Is that a bad sign?

[Gagname]

Yw... Nah, some people are just so busy most of the time, and only text when they can.

You’re reading too much into the little things. Start reading more into the big stuff—like the hours he spent talking to you, and him being so thoughtful to ask what sweet stuff you liked and to get you that tin of chocolate... right?

[Asker]

You’re totally right!

I guess the question is now - how do I move things forward? Should I text jimmy after Christmas and ask if he wants to come over and watch a movie and maybe try the hot chocolate? Haha I just don’t want to be too forward and scare him away!

[Gagname]

What you said sounds like a great idea! Ask him that, and see if he’d like to bring over some takeout like Chinese or something. And then maybe do some of those “girl things” that I mentioned... lol.

[Asker]

Perfect!! I will try that after Christmas!

In the meantime - should I just play it cool and keep flirting a little over text? It’s been a while since I’ve dated (last boyfriend and I were together for a couple of years) lol

[Gagname]

Yeah, you’re doing great—keep doing what you’ve been doing. You have a good sense of things—noticing his engagement/asking questions while texting.

I like you guys’ “sweet” story :) Please let me know how things progress.

[Asker]

Thanks for your help!! I really wasn’t planning on dating anyone this quickly after my breakup, but I do feel a spark between he and I that I am interested in exploring. I just wish he wasn’t so shy and would ask me out again! Haha

[Gagname]

You’re welcome... Oh well, you can’t control the timing of these things. Would you like to stay in touch via pm? If so, send me a follow request and I’ll do the same.

[Asker]

Absolutely!! That would be great. I’ll follow you now! :)

[Gagname]

Ok great

[Gagname]

Thanks for the MHO.

[SenseiSeptred]

Just tell him whether you are interested or not, don't leave him guessing.

[iseekpinetrees]

He seems interested and sweet. Tell him your interested and ask if he'd like to date. Kiss him.