Would you date a player?

[Anonymous]

Usually a boy who makes you feel special. He makes you feel like you are the only girl in his life, when really you are just one in 100.
They flirt with other people, not just you. They talk to you all day, then the next day they ignore you. They send you mixed messages, and your not sure whether he likes you or not?
You can't keep your mind off him, even though you know your nothing to him.

[Cynicaldreamer]

NO! Anon, have some self respect for yourself.

Do not date a know player. I cannot emphasize that enough; you won't be happy.
The fact that you know he's a player, has other women on the side, and won't settle for one woman should be a huge red flag.

Why would you want to be with a person like that? Serious question- what makes him so special to you? There are lots of other men out there that are willing to settle on ONE girl, won't play you, won't lie, cheat, or send mixed messages.
I'd rather be with a guy that lets me know upfront he wants me, than a guy that's playing games and will only wind up hurting you.

[hi_it_is_me123]

No. I ain't dating a male whore. I have self respect and dont want to his 100 of course

[Account]

I turn down men like that.
Not my cup of tea.

[zeitgeist057]

A "player" is a human just like anyone else, and not all are the same. Out of all the people I have known and dated, someone who finds it easy to love and appreciate others and is able to practice love without attachment is far preferable to some of the other cold or lackluster individuals I have encountered.

No one is perfect, but so many of the comments on here I find laughable, because they are mostly creating this two dimensional (lacking depth) paper tiger of a persona to vilify and hate on. Most "players" are not going to fit this stereotype, but instead are as I said, actual human beings with a heart, a life, needs, desires, and mostly not simply evil demon beings. Also laughable, because 90% of the comments are "no way, I would never", and yet players have no problem pickup up and dating over 50% of the average women they meet; the numbers don't add up and lots of women's actions don't line up with their words.

Some people need variety, or they enjoy that deep intimacy like you said of hanging with you and talking all day long, but they don't want to do that all day, every day, so they need a break. Don't you? This idea that "you mean nothing to them" is a self pitying phrase that surely becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, because a person who enjoys making others happy is going to get tired really quickly of a person who is giving them feedback that they make them feel worthless and needs constant reassurance to abate their insecurities. Humans want to enjoy themselves and feel like they add value to another person's life. If they spend all day with a person and give them so much time and energy and are met with the ingratitude of "I want more, why don't you pay attention to me all day EVERY day instead of just one day?", it pushes them further away.

If you really want to date a "player", then appreciate and enjoy it for what it is. If you are the type to never be satisfied unless you completely own another person's soul, then do yourself and the "player" a favor, and go look for someone else to monopolize.

[Medlife]

Omg you are the only man ( I hope) who gave this an amazing pov. I have often tried to tell people how I feel yet fell short on words thank u for speaking my mind. Facts on facts. people wt low self-esteem will absolutely drag u down no matter how much care and love u show them. Either be content with what u got because u like it or let the person go why is it so hard to grasp?

[zeitgeist057]

@Medlife thank you :) In a Psychology course my professor once said, “You can’t fill a bucket with a hole in it.” and those words have stuck with me. I seek out relationships with those who are strong and enjoy my company not because they depend on me to fill their needs, but because they are already balanced and we enrich each other.

[Medlife]

That is a harmonious ship not just a relationship but also friendship and all the other ships that are out there.

[zeitgeist057]

@Medlife it’s good to have an armada 😆

[Medlife]

I enjoy friends family and acquaintances that enrich me nit ones I have to save all the time. Those people are extremely selfish and will absolutely drop one like a hot potato if they do not get their fix. Everyone needs to be needed loved and cared for but why drag others down when one is low. Why not enjoy someone's growth even if it is not with me or for me

[Hydrogen]

Well, you're kinda forcing men to become assholes in the long run. We've seen how nice guys end up. At their PC's, unmarried at 35 and questioning their future if they will ever have a family or experience true love. I know a lot of guys that were great, they can literally cook, clean (yeah a bit of a wuss, but let's face it, it's 2020 not 1920 anymore) and are a perfect fit for being a father. Yet for some stupid unknown reason, that guy will never find true love because girls prefer to drive into the sunset with a "player" just because they feel cool taking selfies with him (as do other 6-7 girls, duh). So yeah, when a girl says "no I wouldn't date a player", about 90% are bullshitting.

[Hydrogen]

The problem with girls nowadays is that they have no clue what they want.. They want a true man, but then again not too aggressive, he needs to cook/clean, but then again not be a total simp, needs to have money but you get mad when he needs to leave for work.. #neversatisfied

[guesswhoseback]

You know what just go right ahead and indulge it and see how it turns out.

I personally have no issues with women chasing assholes and/or players. If they want to dive head first into the deep dark pit just go for it.

What I do have a serious problem is when the girl inevitably gets screwed over and then goes looking for a f*cking shoulder to cry on. And who do you think these women try to dump their shit out on first? Nice guys. Surprise surprise.

No you made your decision now live with the consequences. I’m also coaching young men to never ever give her a shoulder to cry on. Just say “sorry to hear that. Nice talking to you, bye!” and move on.

That’s the only way women like you will learn

[Vewrie]

Yes. Good advice.

[guesswhoseback]

@Vewrie the problem is many young naive guys (including younger myself) mistake a girl crying about other guys as sign she sees us as “the better option”. In reality nothing could be further from the truth.

[Vewrie]

Yeah, I know. And the other way around. Many women gets manipulated by married men who complains about their wives and then the women think they are special and that the men will leave their wives for them, while they just see them as easy targets to cheat with.

[guesswhoseback]

@Vewrie yes that’s true. I’ve learned a long time ago it’s never a good idea to complain about other women to a girl I’m going on a date with (or if I sense she likes me). Very insulting.

Also if I hear a girl complaining about other men on a first date it’s a neon sign I’m friendzoned which also is extremely rude.

[Vewrie]

Yes, that is true. A date shouldn’t sit there and complain about their ex, it means they don’t respect you and just wants a rebound or someone to boost their confidence in order to get that other person they are on about.

[Anonymous]

As a woman, when you finally had your fair share of bad guys, clingy, overly sexual, full of himself guys of every kind it sorta gets boring. We love the idea of something because we never experienced it but once you have that experience it’s like what’s next?
At this point in my life I don’t feel like wasting any time with my life. I’ll either stay single and live my best life or coming across a real man with substance.


Time is going to pass you by at one point and it may be fun for you to fool around with a player and you may think it’s benefiting you. The player is just using you for his own benefit and wasting your time. A man doesn’t lose anything in the end the woman does. May not recognize it now but I guess real wisdom is gained after the experience.

[Kaazsz]

I’m not sure a female player exists lol. I wouldn’t date her but I suppose I’d fuck her. But that’s all she wants anyways. That’s why female players don’t exist. If all a girl wants is sex, she doesn’t need to “play” men to get it. She doesn’t need to deceive a man and lie to him to get him to put his dick in her lol.

[Vewrie]

Except there are emotional female players who likes to get guys infatuated with them, because it is a bigger ego boost than just the fact that someone wants to have sex with them.

[Kaazsz]

Hey that’s a good point. But at the same time, a lot of guys beg to be put into that position lol. They do it to themselves.

I’ve seen it in real life. I have a ton of female friends. I’ve seen how guys will do anything to get a girl’s attention, hoping one day she will fuck him. And even though she resisted and resisted, eventually she gives in and let’s the guy buy her a gift or some other kind of supplicating beta provider bullshit lol.

I think some girls recognize that there really isn’t much of a way around it and they just let guys give them shit and give them emotional attention.

But you’re right I suppose there are girls out there who are predatory with it. Who purposefully seek out guys to use them for emotional ego boosts. So in that sense i guess I would call her a female player lol. Getting money and gifts and attention and a shoulder to cry on from some guy she doesn't give a damn about. Happens all the time! I just know that it’s not always the girl’s fault. She may be a predator or the guy may just be begging her to do it to him lol.

[Vewrie]

Yes there is. I am not saying I have been one of them 😇😈 but I had especially one former friend who was an emotional vampire. She needed to have a harem of men admiring her and confessing their love. She was SO flirtatious in a false unpretentious way. Think Princess Diana’s manipulative personality mixed with the looks of Ariana Grande and a young Cindy Crawford. She loved having virgins and hopeless forever-singles drooling over her, “her friends”. My ass, friends that only said “yes” to everything and “wow, that is fantastic, you are such a gift from God, the ground is happy when you walk on it”. And then she acted surprised when they confessed their love for her. “I don’t know what to DO! I thought we were FRIENDS” 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Kaazsz]

The ground is happy you walk on it lmao.

I call my female friends sluts and whores. They love it though lol. They are always trying to hook me up with girls and telling me every girl who likes me, every girl they catch checking me out they point her out to me and push me to go flirt and ask for her number.

But I don’t want to date. I have a lot of stuff to do and starting school again. Recently got divorced too and I have custody for my kid. Really I avoid dating right now it’s not fair to a girl I date. I won’t have time for her. But my female friends help give me confidence and I know when I want a girlfriend they will help me find one!

A lot of guys like the ones you are talking about, they don’t have female friends. They have girls they are in love with that think they are “friendzoned.” Thats a sad pathetic existence. I love having lots of female friends. I know a lot of cute girls. I have a big dating pool when I choose to date again.

[FlutteringFeelings]

It only exist if she isn’t giving the man any play sexually. If he’s buying stuff for her and ends up falling into her trap because she may stand out from the rest and he becomes emotionally invested. Once a woman let her guard down and turns clingy, gives a guy sexual pleasure earlier on then immediately she’s in the category like the other chicks in the guys phone.

[Vewrie]

Exactly. Friend zoned is even too strong of word. They are fan zoned. Groupie zoned. 😛

[Vewrie]

@FlutteringFeelings Yeah. My former friend I talked about was like this. Everyone she slept with actually dropped her and she started to stalk them in a desperate manner. Like 50 texts a day (unanswered). The ones that behaved like super fans were those she had never touched.

[SjE78]

actually a player isn't just a guy who does this, women do this too, but to answer your question... no, no i would not... a player is something that goes against what i want from life... why would i date someone who is only interested in messing with my feelings or goals of settling down with someone i want to share in life's experiences with? a player is only interested in what they can get before inevitably dropping someone for their next conquest when they have achieved it...

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like a losing proposition. And a Pavlov's Dog situation: partial reinforcement means feelings are not extinguished properly.
If you have all the knowledge that you impart from your statement about mixed messages and being ignored, you have answered your own question.
No, I wouldn't and you need to cut your ties if you're dating one too.

[likelyOK]

No I would not anytime I got involved with them I did not know about it and regretted it. If someone had warned me I would have been 100% GRATEFUL. But if you have no problem with it being just sex and can handle he is going to be having it with someone else, go ahead nothing wrong with it. fair warning he might try and sleep with your friends afterward most of them are smart enough not too but some of them have HAVE NO COMMON decency!

[Anonymous]

I remember my girlfriend was getting ready for a party we were going to and came down the stairs in a sexy black dress. I had to have her there and then. She said no because her hair and make up were done but because I was hard she had me jerk off to her. She got pissed because my cum landed all over her new dress and she had to change.

[key_statistics]

Well not true, a player is a guy that is 100% comfortable around females, that knows how to use their emotions for his advantage. As well as knows how to perform to drive a females lust and emotions up to his advantage. But a guy that treats a female special and tells her she is is not a player all the time. Because some guys really do mean it.

[DiscomfortZone]

Fact is, most women (of all ages) would, and do. They onow they are worthless to him, nothing but a set of holes for satisfaction, and they love it. Yes, they're that stupid. It's a simole supply and demand equation, there wouldn't be any "players" if there weren't stupid women who go for them.

[Vewrie]

What a bunch of bullshit. You are really sitting here guessing and lack the self-awareness to realise you are only guessing. Posts like this suddenly makes me feel lesbian instead of bisexual 🤐

[DiscomfortZone]

Of course, "bullshit". I mean, what I've said is allegedly irrelevant to you, so that must mean it must be irrelevant to women everywhere! How could it be that certain women would dare to be different than you, right? Grow up.
(And I couldn't care less who you like or don't like to fuck, attention whore, get sexually involved with a table for all I care).

[Vewrie]

You didn’t say “certain women” you spoke of women in general. Of course there are all types of women but you don’t have the key to how women in general works. I’d say women that fall for players are unstable to begin with.

[DiscomfortZone]

No, I said "most women", which by definition includes "certain women". But not you ofc, we've already established how unique you are.

[Vewrie]

You don’t know most women, facts. At least I am a woman.

[DiscomfortZone]

No, I don't know most women, and neither do you. If you honestly don't know that the reason "players" still exist is that women encourage them - I can't help you. No, not all women, only those who do, and they are obviously numerous enough to count.

[Vewrie]

I know more women than you, I f-ing guarantee you that since I have had CLOSE female friendships and relationships all my life. You have not. Do you even know your own mother? Serious question. Is your dad a jerk that sees your mother as a “set of holes” and does she in that case LOVE this? Has she told you this?

[DiscomfortZone]

Now who's the one guessing? :) your assumptions are as pathetic as your "arguments", which is quite amusing.

[Manduh]

I wouldn't give a player any attention at all. He's a player for a reason and I'd be miles away from him. If he approaches me I would politely decline any conversation. I don't have time for drama and I don't have time to wait for anyone. Boi bye.

[Youryeodongsaeng]

If I want to be played, then yeah. Love might mess me up one day that I wouldn't mind dating a player, because it wouldn't really be love. So... would that be like... using a player?

[msc545]

The sounds like good fun as long as you know what you're doing and as long as you don't have serious feelings for him. The point at which you begin to have feelings as probably the point at which you need to leave before you get really hurt, but before that, you can have a very good time.

[Paolaa988]

No. Life is too short to waste my time and energy on a guy who doesn't know what and who he wants. And we all know the outcome of dating players doesn't turn out well.

[iseekpinetrees]

No players get old so quick. They spit out so much bs that its like okay you don't have to be fake or always ON you know.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for player’s their game will be up some day & as for dating one I would pass unless you want a quickie & like things to be easy cum, easy go.

[icecreamanmam]

I'm sure women do the same. I could've been a player. But you know, germs. And pregnancies unwanted. Besides... my hand or both hands of my own, is/are enough for me.

[Vewrie]

Hell no, he can go and duck himself. Besides, I am the one who seduce 😈