Would you date someone with opposing political opinions?

Question

Would you date someone with opposite political opinions as you? For example, let’s say you were a liberal/democrat/leftist. Would you date a conservative/republican/right winger?  Why or why not?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As in complete opposite? Definitely not.

I will say that I had a situation happen recently that made me go, "Oh, I see how people fall into situations like this." We didn't date, but I had pretty intense attraction/chemistry with a roommate. We had a heavy flirtmance until I tried to distance myself for several reasons. My body still wants him to hit it though, can't lie. He wasn't settled on his politics 100% but he was definitely moderate at the time, whereas I'm a far leftist and socialist. He would joke around and do the "I can be whatever you want me to be, maybe I can be communist," but that's asking for trouble lol But I did see how it could happen for the first time really. I don't interact with people who are too moderate or close to conservative often and I choose not to be friends with them. It's pretty easy to do that here in NYC. But I had a level of chemistry with him that can be addictive. Had to walk away, trouble trouble. And he hinted at maybe being pro-life too... No, no, no. Sorry, ovaries. But I get it - it's so tempting to just go with what feels good. People ignore red flags that get them into shitty relationships all the time. I do my best to avoid the worst as much as I can and political compatibility is definitely one of those factors. We're going to fight in any passionate relationship. The last thing I want to do is fight over major values.

I think it's hard for anyone who takes their politics very seriously, like I do, to date someone who is completely opposite. Politics are a direct reflection of your values, an extension of your character. I can't disregard that. And as a leftist, I find conservative ideology and policies unacceptable at best and generally morally abhorrent and anti-human. Consider that I've studied politics and worked in politics, government, and nonprofits and I'm very involved in socialist political organizing. My friends and I discuss politics, economics, sociology, political philosophy, etc. on a daily basis, I keep up with current events and listen to political podcasts, etc.

If I were a moderate and/or someone who didn't really pay much attention to what's going on and hadn't spent years learning about the values and policy differences on both sides, the histories behind all of it, etc. then I think it would be much easier to date someone who had different politics. But once you have a grasp of the history, the ideology, and the bigger picture themes/consequences, it's much more difficult. Some rare few have been able to do it, but I still think those people are far more likely to be moderate Democrats/Independents opposed to progressive and leftist Democrats/Independents.

Even dating a moderate is kind of far for me, although I consider it sometimes. The Democrats even annoy me, but I can't narrow my dating pool to exclusively only dating leftists (though that is ideal) because that just makes finding love even harder. My goal is usually no farther right than progressive though.

A lot of more conservative guys are so fucking hot, we have good chemistry, etc. but a relationship has to be more than that. I need to know and be comfortable with who you are as a person. Your politics show me who you value, who matters to you, how you treat people with your vote and how you think people should be treated - how you think we should care for our fellow humans. All of that has to matter. If I ignore that, I don't think I'm truly sitting with who you are and really getting to know you. And for me, that's a deal breaker.

NoGamePlan · Accepted Answer

No. I wouldn't date someone who's political stance is they want me to have less rights than them.

markml · Accepted Answer

Yes and no.

Yes, in the sense that I have done it before.

No, in the sense that it didn't go so well, and I would be reluctant to do it again. I honestly don't think politics should (theoretically) be a deal breaker in a relationship.

The problem is that other people do. And I don't want to get dumped because I voted for someone you can't stand, or because we have arguments about whether a particular political position is morally right or wrong.

And I think that leads to the biggest concern -- differences in fundamental moral beliefs. If you have different moral beliefs than the person you're dating, then that can lead to major problems when dating. I learned that the hard way, trying to be too open minded about who I was willing to try dating.

So if someone has different political beliefs, then that will make me wary. Because it's a sign we may have some fundamental philosophical differences in how we view the world.

If we're just talking about opinions about candidates -- like if you think Trump is an asshole, but Biden is a good guy -- then I don't really care. In my opinion, pretty much all politicians are assholes. And your opinion about who is the good guy and who is the bad guy is probably strongly influenced by the media you watch or listen to.

But if it doesn't bother you that I voted for the guy you didn't vote for, then it doesn't bother me either.

In short, I guess differences in politics is a red flag but not a deal breaker.

JustinTheGreat · Accepted Answer

No. To me political views are way more than “just an opinion”
It reflects who you are as a person and it reflects how you view other people as well. I’m liberal and I don’t think I could date someone who has right winged views such as being anti-abortion, all lives matter, etc. if you support things that are against the rights of certain groups of people, then it says a lot about you and I’m not interested in someone who is bigoted.

Account · Answer

No, I would not.  That is something that would never interest me.

WesBrewer · Answer

Yes, I would date someone who didn't agree with me politically, as long as they didn't disagree with the moral-political things that I believe in, like how I believe abortion is wrong, but if she believed it was right I couldn't do it, but if she didn't let politics affect her morals then I could totally date someone who disagreed with me, I would just not bring up politics when possible, as to why I would, I would do it so that I can have more options since I am not sure I am the most appealing guy anyway might as well not shut doors on people for no real reason.

BoMwarrior · Answer

Yes.

😏 I have a major crush on a particular beautiful nice gal that I'm pretty sure is a Liberal, but being Conservative and only an acquaintance I've kept back. 😔

I try to always listen to and discuss with Liberals, but have found Leftists will only want to argue and they're as bad as neonazis (which I think you're calling right-wingers 🤔). When someone says they want to get along... but only on their terms, that's not open-minded (especially when they won't or can't give reasons why). Example:

https://youtu.be/GfVonCvvC04

I live by "Discussions are always better than arguments. An argument is to find out who I right, a discussion is to find out what is right."

razelove · Answer

Sure, it has always been an eye-opener in the past. Personally with politics I'll go with whatever party will be putting forward policies that help me out personally, so I went from supporting George W to Obama to Trump as he was not Hillary.

As he did nothing to help me personally and I felt indifferent to any proposed policies of Sanders because he never was consistent with any, I didn't vote last time.

So I've dated people hard on the right, though mostly women who are more liberal as the very conservative aren't so much for open relationships.

guesswhoseback · Answer

Things have gone from bad to worse now. I could date a moderate liberal (and I have) just as long she doesn’t condone rioting, communism or aggressive ANTItheism (different from being an atheist).

But nowadays I’m automatically labeled pariah if I disagree with the prevailing liberal view no matter how careful, respectful and well thought out my position is.

I do find that some girls get a temporary sexual rush out of arguing with me. The heightened emotions they feel is similar to them dating an asshole. I’m automatically an asshole just because I disagree with their politics and that’s oddly intriguing to some liberal women. It’s fleeting though. Chances are very low she will accept for the long haul. I already had one ex girlfriend use this as a reason to leave me years ago.

neverendingloops · Answer

Maybe not opposing, but differences in politics is ok. Couldn’t imagine evangelical Christian far right and an extreme leftist would work well, but slightly up or down the spectrum from each other would be fine. There are different kinds of Democrat but they’re still at least the centre and left.

Floppy2112 · Answer

It's a bad idea. Politics are so divisive these days that being politically opposed is just a dry tinder box, with gasoline already poured on the wood anxiously awaiting that little spark to go BOOM!
You have a built-in point of failure for the relationship. It's possible but difficult to be with someone who is ideologically opposed to you. And since everything is political these days, it's probably not the best thing.
We don't listen to each other politically anymore. There is no nuance in the conversations anymore, you're either all one thing or all the other. It didn't used to be this way, but it is now. I think your person should at least be in the same political lane as you, otherwise you are in for some horrible arguments. And there will be arguments.

CallMeDave · Answer

I could date someone with differing opinions as long as they were respectful and their opinions were rational and fact based. I could not date anyone that holds extremist opinions or that believes in unfounded conspiracy theories and doesn't have any interest in facts or logical thinking.

As long as she bases her opinions on facts and rational thinking, I'm fine with that even if her conclusion on a certain topic is different than mine.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I'm an ancap, and I would date any other type of libertarian or just about any type of conservative. They just have to be right-leaning and not too authoritarian. However, I couldn't date anyone left-of-center. No liberals, no leftists, no socialists, no ancoms, and certainly no tankies.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Depends on how far on the spectrum she is. If she is far left then no. if she is moderate yes, if she is slightly left leaning then yes, but I don't like people who decide that I am evil because I don't agree with them and thus far that is what my experiences with the left have taught me, that they are intolerant towards a difference of opinion and that you must agree with them on everything or you are a "racist"(even if the disagreement isn't even race related).

smash4isBetter · Answer

Probably not, i'd date only Trump supporters or America First women. Why would I as a conservative date a women who is okay with abortion, supports blm, homosexuality, destruction of traditional family, and most important hates religion. Nope its not meant to be. Right wing only for me.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

Sure. As long as the dicussions don't affect the relationship.

- Agree to disagree.
- Compromise in problemsolving.
- Respect and accept difference of opinion and perspective.
- Both needs to be open-minded and willing to set their pride aside. Listen to eachother and look at their reasons for thinking the way they do.

Not_Average · Answer

I don’t think I could. Political affiliation derives from personal values. I’m a capitalist, military veteran, and believe in limited government. I think the way I do because of my life experiences and the way I was bought up. Dating an anti-military Marxist most likely wouldn’t work. I try to keep an open mind, and I could likely vibe with a democrat, but it wouldn’t work long term.

menina · Answer

No I could never date someone with opposing political opinions. We would end up arguing all the time and maybe over simple things.
Plus a conservative/republican/right winger would never date me because I'm black.

Purple_Rose · Answer

I wouldn't if they had radical beliefs or if they simply don't give a shit if I was attacked for being black. If they can't defend me when I experience any type of racism, I don't want them.

JackofSpades · Answer

Seeing as how my only real political option is "both of you chill the fuck out." No I could not date political zealot.

Both sides are acting like fucking cults on a crusade with a convert or die attitude, and I'm sick of it.

Blue team! Unless you want the US to look like 20th century China, chill the fuck out.

Red team! Unless you want the US to look like 20th century Germany, chill the fuck out.

angelgirl7 · Answer

Politics is not my life. I don't even like to discuss it because your political beliefs are really none of my business, and vice versa. So as long as the person has that same mindset, I'd give them a chance.

iFarted · Answer

Depends on how extreme they area with it. I don't care for politics as I find whoevers in charge is going to want to change things to benefit their own pockets anyways. Someone always wins, someone always gets fucked. I find anyone who is extremely one sided and narrow-minded about it to be delusion and I want nothing to do with them.

slatyb · Answer

No, because what passes for conservative thought in the US these days is a bunch of conspiracy theories, nothing that it is possible to discuss in any rational way.

Anonymous · Answer

Well considering I'm very centrist I don't know what my opposition would be. If it means to have someone who is moderately opposed to me then why not, if it means that they are radical (which would be the technical opposite) then I wouldn't go for it, I don't want radical views in my life.

eileen_ruth · Answer

I guess? As long as they weren't homophobic or racist or sexist or something then sure. And like, not a weird ancom who thinks 911 is okay because the us supported a ton of coupes in other countries or something (true story)

0112358 · Answer

Truly opposite - no. There are plenty of liberals and conservatives I’d date but they’re not truly opposite. Strong authoritarians - populist or otherwise - are more the opposite. I think I’d find it nearly impossible to date one seriously.

DeeToPlay · Answer

Well no matter how beautiful she may be I believe that those two polar opposites direct polar opposites will cause too much friction in my household and I have no peace so I guess I couldn't date them.

Kurαȷ · Answer

No, I wouldn't. A person with views opposite of mine would be morally and intellectually inferior and thus automatically deemed unfit to be my partner.

EmmaMary · Answer

No absolutely not, I fear it would cause far too many conflicting arguments or heated debates... Life's too short to deal, or put up with this kind of situation.

sheikalana · Answer

I'm currently dating someone with opposite political opinions he's an amazing man but when it comes to this topic I just want to punch him in the face.

mélancolie · Answer

yea unless you're at the extremes. like i wouldn't date a neo nazi, a ussr simp tankie or someone who believes in pizza gate and that type of stuff

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not that crazy about politics but no I wouldn’t date someone with opposing political views. I can’t imagine myself dating a trump supporter lol. That would definitely be a toxic relationship

glock33sig357 · Answer

Once you can leave your P. O. V at the dinner table or the door and don't allow it to follow you in the bedroom then I have no issues, also no belittling or insulting each other for each other's opinions when discussing them.

Sagittarius_1204 · Answer

No, because their will always be a fight about politics, racism and inequality - Democrat

utterlyconfused11 · Answer

it would depend on what it is and how extreme the differences are. we can disagree on little things that fine, but when it comes to things that are actually important, if we disagree that's gonna be a deal breaker

Avicenna · Answer

Yes (I've done it numerous times), as long as she wasn't extreme or deranged in her opinions.

mistixs · Answer

Yes as long as they're not an extremist (either left-wing or right-wing extremism; I oppose both)

Mamaganja · Answer

Nope. I can’t date someone who exhibits toxic “patriotism”. Next thing you know, they’re calling me and our children (if any) racial slurs.

lordskull69 · Answer

sure maybe you could strike a balance and learn a few things from each other

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Hell no. They believe fundamentally different things about life. They think if we have a son and he wants to cut his dick off at age 5 it should be celebrated and i would obviously not encourage allow celebrate such a thing it would be child abuse.

Virginmartha · Answer

I would never date anyone who didn't believe in scientology. If you were against it I'd poop myself. I feel so intensely about it!

douride2 · Answer

I have in the past, My parents were political opposites. They were married close to 60 years when my father passed away.

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

I would as long as they don't expect me to change my political views

mamamai · Answer

Depends how extreme their beliefs are and how tolerant they’re as a person

Shiningtempest · Answer

@starrycrossing I would rather date a woman with similar political opinions because I don't want incompatible political views to destroy relationships. Thus, I only date conservative or libertarian woman.

Riddler1412 · Answer

I'm not politically opinionated, so I don't think it would be a problem. Unless it's someone who blindly follows.

Anonymous · Answer

No because people who support Trump usually have very similar personality to him. They don't care about other people from other countries and that makes them unattractive to me

crmoore · Answer

If they were civil and accepting, yes, though as I've mentioned on here before, my answer is regrettably a less passionate "yes" than it used to be.

chriscdi · Answer

yea only if they aren't salty with their believes tho

Random_Guy_Online · Answer

Probably not. Even if I wanted to, they'd probably hate me for what I believe in

chHaynes · Answer

I would try but I'm really personally into politics unless it's something important

Juxtapose · Answer

Almost any political ideology would be fine with me except a social justice weirdo.

FriendlyEnigma · Answer

Possibly, but anyone who follows a political leader blindly is not attractive in my eyes

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Yes. As long she is smart and isn't a close minded fool.

catsandbroadway · Answer

Well, I don’t think I know any wlw that are conservative so—

gemgem · Answer

Depends. I feel like I could just talk her into my position over time.

Insecuregirl1760 · Answer

Not if they were radical right no no no. If you are a hardcore Trump supporter NOPE

The_unknown_memer · Answer

Noooo , different views on the same subject then yes

Twenty2 · Answer

Sure! Maybe I'd learn something from her or she'd learn something from me.

Anonymous · Answer

I would not. I don't need to argue politics with someone and it is inevitable that would happen.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes. As a Libertarian, no one shares my political views; not even other Libertarians.

Anonymous · Answer

I would. Most people aren't crazy radicals.

Jack9949 · Answer

Fuck no. Democrats are baby killers.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah to an extent

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