Why do men just want sex from me and nothing else?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm 30, and I have been single most of my life. I have been on a lot of Tinder dates, but they all follow the same scenario: we text for 2 weeks, go out for dinner, then during the first 5 minutes of dinner he asks whether we're having sex that night, I politely reject his offer, and then he gets mad and starts shouting at me and calling me names and tries to rape me. I dress very modestly - high necklines, long sleeves, long dresses etc. There is also another common scenario - I would be seeing my Tinder guy for 12 to 18 months, I would have met his whole family, he would tell me he loves me, but then when we finally sleep together (12 to 18 months later), he ghosts or blocks my number. So that's basically the story of how I have ended up single at 30.
I get asked out by men every single day because they tell me I'm very attractive and sexy, but 100% of those men who ask me out are married or in long term relationships. Single men want nothing to do with me if I don't drop my panties the moment I see them.
Is there anything I can do to make myself a girlfriend material not a hookup material? Or is it too late at 30? If it is too late, how can I accept the fact that I'm never going to be loved by anyone?

[Cataphract]

Dating apps are for hookups. Also if you dress modestly, how do you act? What do you talk about? In which field do you work? What is your lifes purpose?
Answer these questions and you will have a profile of a man you should look for. At 30 your options are limited, but there is still a chsnce of getting a guy with a similar mindset to yours, in a similar situation.

Also, i am not buying your story about a guy who was dating you for 1,5 years blocking you for shitz and giggles. You are not tellong the full story here.

[Anonymous]

They all try to rape you? Maybe try different types of guys? lol

But also, when you start talking with a new guy, tell him immediately what you are wanting (something leading to long term) and ask him what he wants. It's never "too early" to ask that or say. And some women worry they will "scare him away", but if he's wanting the same thing you are, you aren't going to do that. But I also want to say that we would all like sex, however I do think in some cases, women make the mistake of assuming it's ALL we want, when that's not necessarily true (again, with some guys).

[Asker]

I have tried saying that I want a relationship, so guys use that against me by playing the long game - being caring, introducing me to their friends and families, brining me to their friend's weddings, telling me they're super serious about me, but then dumping me straight after we have sex! Guys are smart - they are ok with pretending to be in a relationship with a woman when they just want sex! So telling someone I want something long term is like shooting myself in the foot, funny enough.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm honestly very surprised a guy would bother to go through all that. I mean, it's a lot for simply sex. Yes guys will put up with some stuff, but that's a lot lol. Are you sure other reasons aren't at play? I'm sorry you've experienced this, all I can suggest then is keep trying and not all guys are like this. Like I say, maybe try different types of guys now then if you tend to go for a specific "type". Are these guys your age? In 30's? Because I could see if it was teenagers or young 20's, but in 30's? That's why I question if it's other reason (s), and it's simply a coincidence that it's after you have sex. Is the sex really bad? Do you communicate with them? It's also possible it's nothing at all to do with you, and you just happen to be catching all the wrong guys. It's honestly not getting much better as a guy looking for a woman either. Women are getting just as bad. It's really sad the society we live in right now when it comes to dating and relationships.

[WesBrewer]

Well, I do not think you are hopeless at 30, you are still in your best years (in my opinion) if you no longer use dating apps and after corona starts to meet people in person that will be way better, also where the guy is from, if you date a guy from the country or a guy raised in a religious home (like Christians) then he will be prone to wanting to stay with you longer and not for sex. have a hug (>^_^)>

[Asker]

Guys from my home country love to beat women up and are extremely violent, and I'm not attracted to that. Perhaps there's hope, I'm 30 not 60, but if there is a single guy out there who is 45 and wants a family, why wouldn't he choose a 20 year old woman over a 30 year old?

[WesBrewer]

well I'm not exactly sure what to say to that besides those guys are screwed up, and you should move away, I'm sorry you live in a place like that.

[jasco]

Cause you 1 attract these men, 2 because you have terrible taste, 3 because your on tinder and that's just a sex site to begin with, 4 if you been single most of your life then you just haven't made good life choices and more then likely there is something wrong with your personality, however on the rare chance that their isn't anything wrong with your personality, it will more then likely be the fact that again your looking on tinder instead of trying to meet people in person. At age 30 a lot of men actually do prefer older women but at the same time older men prefer younger women so good luck

[Asker]

Well I have been looking mostly on Tinder to be honest! Most of my friends married their Tinder dates so that gave me hope. Well but would I really be too old for a man in his 50ies or 60ies, given that he's unattractive and broke? Or should I look for men in their 70ies and 80ies? I'm afraid they wouldn't want any children and would just play me

[jasco]

Well those friends of yours got lucky, very lucky. So i suggest you find somewhere else if its not working for you. Honestly if a man is in is 50s to 60s he may be fine with having a girl like you, cause your around his age and you still look good i imagine and i think you be a good fit and most men around the age of 30 - 40 usually have a house of some sorts. As for a 70s to 80s man your gonna get played more then likely

[Asker]

I'm 30 not 60, so how come I'm "around his age"? I still get asked for an ID when shopping. So if I go looking for a man in his 60ies, would he commit to me and want to have children with me?

[jasco]

I meant age range not just age sorry, typo. Maybe, maybe not. Most 60s year olds aren't as interested in having kids compared to a 30 or 40 year old but there are some who would be. I suggest you try near your age range tho or maybe a little younger, your call tho. All i can say is that you just have to keep filtering threw the Bull shit

[slatyb]

Where are you living? Where are you meeting these men? If you want to be married, then stop having sex with men who don't. If you do choose to have sex with them, then enjoy it and don't regret it.

You can ask a man about his goals in dating without demanding an engagement ring in the next two months. Stop wasting time with men who don't share your goals. If you don't know any more serious-minded men, you are fishing in the wrong pond.

[Asker]

Well most men will lie to me saying that they are serious about me, but actually will just want sex! I don't have sex outside of relationships, but most guys tell me: that's why you're single, because you don't have sex on the first date! No man will date you if you don't suck his dick 5 into the first ever conversation!

[slatyb]

No man? As I said, you need to date a better class of men.

[Wiredone]

I read your question and the description of yourself. You do sound like a beautiful woman. The first thing you have to do is get rid of tinder. Tinder is a hookup for sex site. That's all the guys want on there. I know "match" app is a real dating site. That is if you have trouble finding good guys the old fashioned way.

[InferiorElegy]

Because tinder is widely known for hookups, and the guys on there that actually want relationships tend to get avoided. Try picking a guy you might not normally give a chance to, maybe you'll find a really great guy. Also you're female so the chance of you ending up alone is very small unless you want to end up that way, as females always have guys swimming like sharks around them, you just have to pick the one of the guys.

[JSmuve]

Wait, you allegedly get asked out every single day and yet rely on Tinder for dates? Either you're only being asked out on Tinder or you're exaggerating. And if your plan is to get a successful relationship off of Tinder, good luck to you. Maybe try something else.

[Asker]

Yeah well that's because the guys who ask me out are married and in their 70ies and 80ies, looking for something on the side. At least the guys on Tinder are a bit younger than that. Maybe Tinder has ruined me because every guy on there just sees me as a sex toy with no feelings, and now I think that's how all men think of women

[BeachLuvR97]

First step is to get rid of Tinder. Time to start meeting guys the old fashioned way. If you meet them by impulse, they're going to treat you on impulse.

I'm not seeing what's going on after being in a relationship, that it ends that quickly. You'll have to describe that, more.

[SenseiSeptred]

My lady, I just recently after 19 years ended up in a 6 pointed star relationship last year due to much of my own doing after the women found me during this pandemic. So if you want to talk a good amount, message me on here or on Facebook, but if you find me on Facebook, look for Basuwoto Septred. I most definitely know how you feel.

[kkirk4442]

I'm guessing that the type of guys who want Tinder dates, are just looking for sex. If you want another kind of relationship, you probably need to look elsewhere.

[Whatever919]

I dress very modestly - high necklines, long sleeves, long dresses etc. => you sound a decent women and girlfriend material. Don't give up you deserve better than these sick males. One day you will meet the right one.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, so you say your Tinder dates all follow the same scenario, which always ends in the guy trying to rape you. Then you go one to describe another "common scenario" in which you've been dating your Tinder guy for 12 to 18 months but haven't had sex yet. Then you say that single men want anything to do with you unless you drop your panties immediately. There are too many inconsistencies in this question to believe any of it.

[Opinion Owner]

After you described your "common scenario" in which you've been dating your Tinder guy for 12 to 18 months but haven't had sex yet, below you say the longest relationship you've ever had was one year.

Having read through all your comment here it's crystal clear you are full of shit and your only motive for posting here was to lie in an effort to try to make men look bad. Get a life.

[genericname85]

cause that's what like 90% of men want. it has nothing to do with you.

[COMMODOREII]

Thats crazy. I am curious. What do you look like? How tall are you? Are you athletic? Im trying to figure out why these guys would do that. How is your personality?

[Asker]

I'm 5'9, wear size XS (UK size 4/6), hourglass shape, 38- 24 - 37. I've got a big chest and buy DD cup bras, but my waist is tiny. Haven't got a massive bum but it's perky. Legs are long and slim. I used to be a model for magazines in my teens and early 20ies. I exercise and haven't got many wrinkles. Most guys think I'm 25 max because my face is pretty much wrinkle free. Long blonde hair, blue eyes. Every guy I meet starts the conversation with some sort of "you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen". Not that I believe them, and not that they are right. But I'm no 1000 lbs landwhale. I still get offered lots of modelling jobs, but I turn them down because I don't feel confident enough. The reason I'm not confident is because I'm single.

[Whatever919]

Where are you from?

[Asker]

@Whatever919 London

[Whatever919]

Mmmm yeah well I'm interested in knowing you but I'm not from UK

[bamesjond0069]

I mean you're 30 so primarily men will be interested in sex and not relationships. Id recommend a much older man. Like 15+ years. Or date wayyyyyyy down. A man who you are way out of his league because you actually aren't at least anymore. Good luck.

[Paulychicago10]

Just sounds like you're going to the wrong place to find a long term relationship

[Anonymous]

Tinder is a fucking app. I hope you at least paid for the dinner.

[Anonymous]

been single most of your life, how long was the longest relationship or dating experience you had?

[Asker]

My longest relationship lasted for one year, he proposed to me, then 2 hours later he left to get married to his other fiancee. He was just using me as a way to get back to his ex. When he told her he was going to marry me, she panicked and he packed his suitcases and flew to the other end of the world to marry her

[Opinion Owner]

was that the only boyfriend you had? i assume you had other boyfriends

[Asker]

Had one other, lasted 10 months, he was very controlling, abusive and cheated on me. That's just about all the dating experience I have had. Men ask me out on dates, but never even show up to the date. If they do show up, they ask for sex straight away as they say that I owe them sex because they showed up and didn't stand me up.

[Anonymous]

Because it's Tinder
A known digital meat market

[Silvius]

Maybe its about your attitude, the way you dress or speak

[Anonymous]

Lose Tinder... Tinder is a hook up site... try a different site.

[shanshu]

Tinder is mainly for hooking up