Feeling uncomfortable with my husband getting a massage?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys,

My husband has recently brought up that he wants to go get a massage.
First of all, I do trust him 100%, but he's very friendly and open which can sometimes look like flirting, and I've always felt a little weird about how he is around other woman. It just gives me a shitty feeling, I guess, but I get over them.
I just have never been with a guy like him before.
Back to the massage thing.
The thought of a girl rubbing down his naked body makes me feel uncomfortable. I know there's nothing to be afraid of, but I just don't like the thought... maybe I'm just really old fashion? I hate the ways I feel sometimes. Should I mention it, and see if he'd be ok with going to a guy? Or should I just ignore my feelings about it? So torn..

[hellionthesagereborn]

Don't ignore your feelings but don't demand he alter his life because of your insecurities either. Figure out why it bothers you (you've already established its not him so that just leaves you (maybe bad experiences, maybe you are just afraid that this is too good to be true so its not or what have you)). Then tell him about it but don't tell him not to go (that is controlling) don't tell him not to get a female museus (again, that is controlling). He will probably find it endearing more then anything as long as you don't make it a control thing. But ultimately let him know it bothers you and tell him to do it anyway, this way you express your feelings and he can go and prove that you were afraid for nothing.

I'd say most importantly analyze why you feel the way you do because you can't exactly expect him to never interact with other women ever again, so your only option is either overcome this feeling by understanding its root cause or succumb to it and let it get in the way of your relationship (which, judging from what you have said you really don't want to happen).

[Asker]

Don't worry, I wouldn't tell him not to do anything. Just gonna talk

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice !

[hellionthesagereborn]

Not a problem, hope it all works out.

[Makeushiver]

A massage from a professional is great, even non sexual massages. For anything that requires touching my body I always prefer a woman. I even have a dermatologist who goes over my entire naked body with her fingertips and I always get some degree of a hard on, obviously visible to her, and I like her seeing how turned on she makes me. Part of the touching includes going over my cock and balls which is fine with me. Most massesues are not of the happy ending variety. When I've wanted one of those I've always had to look specifically for them. Women pros see naked men 10 x a day and it doesn't affect what the do professionally. Of all the women I have see or work on my body the only time it came to anything was when a physical therapist was working on a back problem I had. She was getting me to do pelvic thrusts which mimic precisely your pelvic motion when fucking. She saw how turned on (hard) I was and we had some ex parte sex at the end. It only happened once, we both came aand everybody went home happy. Given the # of times I've had women cup my balls, stick a finger up my ass and whatever else, it was just another days work for them- or at least it seemed that way. I even asked my dermatologist if she was okay with a man as her patient- after a session that ended with me being fully engorged- and she said "of course, as long as you are comfortable". Though I wanted to I thought it might damage the relationship if I suggested a bit of soixante-neuf at the end of the appt.

[psychoticanimaIIover]

You, my friend, are a walking time bomb.

Let the poor man go and get his massage, get a massive erection and then relieve himself in the changing room afterwards, then reschedule a twice weekly appointment for the same masseuse. It’s not a big deal. He’s a man. He’s allowed to get feelings in his dick.

[MissDawn7961]

since he is your husband and his body B longs to U , then tell him that U will massage him with whatever he wants U to use ! then after the massage C if he wants to have hot sex with U ! if he wants others to massage him , then this is bad news for U and your marriage for it may end up disolving ! thanks

[Not_Average]

So when I worked in law enforcement, I worked a detail in which we busted a number of different illegal massage parlors. It’s common place to get a happy ending in a lot of places that you might not expect. It really depends on the area in which you reside. If you’re feeling paranoid about the parlor he’s going to thinking that they might try to sexually escalate on him- I’d suggest just googling the address. There are a lot of websites such as backpages and rubmaps that will immediately tell you if the massage parlor is legit or not. If there’s no sexual reviews or pictures of pornstars on their ad, then it’s most likely legit. I’d check the google and Yelp reviews as well.

This is something that a lot of people would be insecure about initially, so I’d honestly just bring it up to him. If he cares about you, he’ll do whatever he can to make you feel more comfortable.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice! I'm going to talk to him about how I feel, and see what he thinks.

[Anonymous]

If it helps at all, think of it from the woman's point of view that's massaging him. Regardless of him, or if she finds him attractive or not, it's her job and nothing more to her. Most (if not all) of them make a point to NEVER mix business with pleasure.

That being said, it might still bother you and yes share your feelings with him. If it were me, I would either get a guy or not do it at all if I knew you felt that way, just out of respect for your feelings. But you have to tell him how you feel and be direct about it (ie don't hint at it or beat around the bush, tell him exactly how you feel).

[iFarted]

Well.. it depends on where he went..

There's that...

Then there's that...

[Asker]

😂 omg haha

[Lionman95]

Talk with him. You have those feelings and he needs to know about that better sooner than later. But tell him also that you trust him to make the right decision. I understand why you have those feelings and I think it´s better for the both of you to talk about it. Especially when he´s as friendly as you say he´ll assure you that everything is going well.

[HikerDude]

Don't be worried. Most of them women who work in that field are not 23 year-old fitness models. They're more likely 45 yo mothers of two.

[Asker]

Haha, I guess. The spa I used to work at had a lot of younger ones though.

[james_d0007]

Those days are gone, for customer attraction - Spa have gone for hot and attractive chics to boost their business. Some women do provide extra services for their regular customers ;)

[KrakenAttackin]

Don't worry. The best massages I ever had were from large women who could crush a golf ball with their bare hands. I think a good massage is borderline painful (getting the knots out) and not at all sensual. Also, professional massage therapists are not prostitutes.

[KrakenAttackin]

Buy a book or video series and learn to massage him yourself.

[Omar5881]

Ughhh as a guy i refuse to be massaged by another dude feels weird to me , you should talk with your partner about that unless u want the relationship to do downhill , you can always learn massage and do it to him if it that much annoys you

[Asker]

Ouu, true! I'm really light and not very strong though.. do you think if I learn how I could still do it okay?

[Omar5881]

You won't be “great “ first couple of times but u will get the hang of it its not rocket science after all

[Asker]

I may just give it a try. (: Thanks for the advice!

[Omar5881]

Suree , if i were him i would really appreciate it if you learned that for him its a very nice and romantic gesture

[Asker]

I hope. I'll mention it to him, and see if he's cool with it (:

[EaterPeter]

He may have gotten massage before from girls. He would be ok since yoy will be with him. If not then you may get some clue weather this relationship is going to work for you or not. Or you may try getting massage from guy and see how he feels about you being touched by other guys. Let's say you feel uncomfortable being touched by other guy and he is ok with you being touched by other guy. It's time to let him go.

[Mark83]

Unless you go to one of those seedy places, a massage is a professional treatment. You're probably okay with a female doctor treating him, right? A massage is no different.

[Phoenix98]

Be honest with him and maybe suggest that you could give him one.

[Iknowbestgirls]

Well if you feel that strongly about it you should offer to give him a massage yourself. Keep his attention in you! Maybe put out a little bit to show that he can have you once he returns and stays faithful. That should go a long way! Good luck

[Waldoe]

I have had many massages, I have Never been naked, I prefer male a masseuse, they have stronger hands and do a better job. Women in general have weaker hands... tell him he will get a better massage from a male masseuse

[KrakenAttackin]

I would not be comfortable with a male massage therapist. Yes, you do have to find a woman who is strong enough but they are out there.

[GAGSucksBalls1]

That would be seen as controlling

Noone likes a controlling person, hun

Let him be himself. and if you don't trust him, why are you married?

[Avicenna]

If you're bothered by it, speak up

[Asker]

Maybeeee...

[andreasderjuengere]

A massage here costs ca. 300 (Thai Baht). If he spent 800... well - that's how capitalism is like.

[Browneye57]

Is she going to blow him too? Is that what you're worried about? I mean, WTF over.

[Maspolomas]

He’s gonna get his dick rubbed or sucked no questions asked especially if it’s an Asian massage parlor

[Wise4myage]

Why not try mutual massages at the same time? Or better yet, give them to eat other instead.

[Anonymous]

How about you give him a good body massage at home?

[Anonymous]

Nothing to worry about, maybe help him find a place that gives happy endings. You don't want him to end up sad, right?