Boyfriend gets mad when I don't do laundry?

[Anonymous]

So there's a problem here. I do his laundry and mine. I'm fine with that. The problem I have is that I have to wash his clothes 3 times a week and the reason is because he only has 2 pants for outside of work and 2 work shirts. Now I'm getting pissed because either I'm hallucinating or he's taking his clothes somewhere. I've seen clothes in bags in his truck... I don't know what the f$ck that's about.
Then he came home with 5 brand new work shirts his boss gave him. It's been a month and he's somehow down to 2 shirts and 2 pants. he works in construction so he's always dirty I get that but. confused as to where all his pants and shirts went... where did they go? He keeps getting mad at me for not washing his clothes often. Yet I just did it and he has nothing in the wash right now except a shirt... WHERE IS ALL HIS CLOTHES? Should I just buy him pants to spare me? I'm already spending all my money on him and it's pissing me off.

[btbc92]

Whoa, that is not your responsibility. You are boyfriend and girlfriend, not legally husband and wife. He needs to be responsible for his OWN clothes and such. If you are shacking up before marriage, this is what you will deal with. And if it's his home your in, he can basically tell you what to do because it is still his home. This doesn't sound like a normal relationship, and I think you need to revalue it. SERIOUSLY.

[Asker]

It's not but I'm willing to do that since he works literally everyday. Its fine to me but the problem is he doesn't have clothes and it's annoying me. I don't work. So I think it may be fair to do something besides play games and sit on my butt my lol

[btbc92]

You realize I hope your being slaved working basically. Simply because you're not working. Men who treat you like this will do that to you when you marry. I don't mean being a housewife. I am saying how he is treating you is abusive.

[btbc92]

He is a grown man. His clothes as said before are HIS responsibility, not yours! You can offer the help, but he is not again, legally your husband to be demanding or commanding you do so. PERIOD. I live with that with my own parent. It's ABUSIVE. The offering is one thing. A person who thinks like that will see you as a freeloader who doesn't pay bills, contribute, and or lazy. And yet, your a "partner". Think about this when some of these men say they want housewives, don't respect them. Because without money, you STUCK. He may make the bread, but he is going to use that against you in an argument and sadly he wouldn't be too wrong except how he treats you with it. WHY? Because it will be seen as him pulling his weight and you aren't. Because now if you get a job and start making enough, he is going to have you not only pay half of the bills or other lesser bills, that is again, not yours, but also be more upset that YOU still didn't do his LAUNDRY.

[btbc92]

I hope you realize*

[Iakai]

I mean. She doesn’t work, he does. I’d be mad too if I worked all day and came home to someone who did nothing all day that couldn’t even wash my clothes, but in her case he loses all his clothes. So she needs to explain to him that if he wants clean clothes he needs to keep better track of them, because he loses them and she has nothing to wash. I don't know why you’re being so extra and psychotic but it’s creepy and not that serious.

[btbc92]

@Iakai You are not her husband to even demand that. She is not your maid. She is your partner. You knew this when you take them on, be responsible, or don't have a "house-girlfriend" for a mate. You want somebody to do that. Hire a maid. It is very serious. And I didn't ask, no offense, your opinion about how "psychotic or creepy it is. It very much serious when your dating, married, or involved. And she cannot afford that as she is young, number 1, and two with a guy who is not responsible. She can be working and it wouldn't have made much of a difference. That's why you do not shack up before marriage and or get sexually involved before then. I worked. My late mother didn't have to take care of anything but offered for me and my father. Even then I still did my own CLOTHES. I am an adult. And while it is helpful to offer, he shouldn't be demanding that if she is going to be his girlfriend. He shouldn't be angry. At all. He needs to be upset with himself. Not even just losing his clothes. He is angry about her not doing it. Got to be kidding me.

[btbc92]

When your married, then you can speak that. Unmarried, no business. You invite a dating partner home your responsible for what they can and cannot contribute. This is why I would never shack up with a man, or be broke to not making enough and a man expects me home. No, no, no. If I worked all day, I take care of my clothes. Not the guy. When married, we do so together. If I am visiting and I see he needs help I will offer as I do for my parents when I became an ADULT. That is what adulthoods are about. Nobody is going to baby you. That is what it means to have independence. You cannot have it both ways. He wants that he should have married her. Not treat her like that. And she shouldn't stand for it. He may work hard, yes. Nobody is denying that. But how he TREATS her is the problem. Not even a woman should do that unless married. You invite again a partner home, you at that point set rules and that's it. At that point, she is a maid. Not a girlfrind. A wife as a girlfriend should offer without an expectation, and if it helps him and he sees so that is different. But you tell a maid that. You don't tell your partner that. You want your partner to work, get a partner who works, and have what you desire in a mate. It really is that simple.

[Asker]

I don't know.. but I agree with @lakai because I'm willing to do it. I've done it for every relationship I've been in and it was how I was raised. I don't think it's. A big deal.

[btbc92]

I don't think you get it. I was raised to do the same thing myself. But one thing I do know is not to do that with a person you're not obligated with. You done whatever relationship you been but how come you're not in those relationships? I get the feeling you've been in relationships that was a really abusive to begin with. Now you're doing the same thing in another relationship with the same issue. Cuz what that sounds like to me that's exactly what it is. Have nothing to do with it being a big deal. I'm caring about how you're being treated. Again, it sounds like to meet from what that small statement alone you've been in abusive relationships and you're in another one. So I'm just going to say it like this if abusive relationships is what you like, by all means that's on you. I'm not talkin about not helping out and being of service. I'm talkin about how your ability to be of service to this man, is causing you to be in relationships that are not sustainable.

[iLoveJuice]

Sounds like he’s using you & he has mommy issues.

[GAGSucksBalls1]

Does he ever do it?

[Asker]

No..

[GAGSucksBalls1]

then he has no right to complain. you need to tell him how you feel about it

[Asker]

Yeah I mean I get that but... he works from 7am to 7pm soooo... why not me just do it since I'm at home all day everyday sitting on my ass?

[GAGSucksBalls1]

like i said, just talk to him about how you feel about it