How do I get older men to be interested in me?

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think it’s mainly because I have the attention span of a goldfish but I’m not sure if I can actually attract older men? I’m 21 and I recently went on a date with a 31 year old man. It was a great time! He was super sweet and open-minded and it was a great date but there wasn’t a second one. I thought everything went well and he even gave me more contact info and told me to come over any time but nothing ever came of it? I’m not sure what I did wrong but not getting a second date is pretty normal to me because guys usually just want to hookup. Side note: I’m always open to hookups but it seems like guys still want to lie and pretend to be interested in me and pretend like they don’t care if we do hookup and then after the date they basically expect me to? Like you had a chance to tell me if that’s all you wanted to do before but you chose to lie? Like it’s weird? Anyways how do I figure out what’s wrong with me so I can actually attract older guys or more mature men?

[ohshee]

This is a hard question because I don't know you we've never chatted so it's hard to understand what other people are seen in you are hearing in you the only way to I can help you is to actually talk to you and within five to ten minutes you would tell me everything and I would know the reason why I would have to think of something very simple and now you have me curious I can usually Free People pretty well pretty fast. Most of the time when reading a post the answer is right there in the question but not with yours yours is a lot different I feel there's something very special about you and I don't really understand it myself why so he would do do that I can send I would have to talk with you I would also like to know there cuz now you have me curious so if you would like to just for the hell of it send me a message and let's see if we can figure this out I think it's something very simple I think the reason why I'm so curious is because I'm an empath and I feel your words and I feel you is who you are and that's the mind-boggling part is that you are a good person good heart loving fun confident so I don't get it anyway I would love to answer this question for you but in order for me to do that I would have to least talk to you for five 10 minutes

[loveslongnails]

Unless he tells you why there's no second date, you won't know. Even if you ask him directly and explain you're not upset, you just want to know so you can fix anything that needs fixing, he might not be honest with you. With a 10 year age gap, maybe he decided you were just too young for him, or maybe he met someone else closer to his age after he dated you. Difficult to say, but it may have nothing to do with how your date went, but rather, he met a hot 27-30 yr old that he has more in common with.

Guys in your age group especially, who are only interested in you or anyone else just for sex, are not going to admit straight up that it's all they want UNLESS they really believe that's all YOU want too. And the only way they'd know that is if you tell them, up front, it's all you want. Guys are going to pretend to be interested if they think that's the best way to get under your skirt, if not on date 1 then date 2 or 3.

So there isn't necessarily anything wrong with you except what you said - your attention span. Do you talk too much? Not know how to listen? Don't show real interest in your date? And so on. Not being able to focus for more than a few seconds is a REAL turn off to an older guy. An older guy wants to be attracted to you physically for sure, but he wants to be able to have some intelligent conversation as well. Twenty year old guys for the most part, couldn't care less about that.

So... stop having the attention span of a gnat, show a guy you're deeper than a puddle when you speak, and you'll attract older men.

[Finchie40]

Be interested in him , listen to when he talks , if you zone out on someone they will think you aren’t
Interested especially on a first date lol , Make the guy feel that you are really into him and enjoy hearing his stories , that’s what will get you a second date

[chihuahua011]

I assume it's your lack of attention because even I would grow annoyed if the girl just doesn't listen what I'm saying and I'm 25.
You really need to improve on that because the older you get the more important it is to actually talk with each other so a 40 man is going to ignore you and take you for "another of those girls" type.

[chihuahua011]

40 plus man*

Don't know why the plus sign gets removed...

[Jamie05rhs]

Yeah, it probably is your attention span. As an "older" guy myself, if we say something and the girl doesn't listen to us, then that is quite annoying and it gets old really fast. Especially if it's something important we're trying to tell you and it just goes in one ear and out the other.

[Asker]

Oof, so how do I fix that? I honestly try to pay attention when I’m talking to someone, I just get distracted 🤧

[Jamie05rhs]

You have to actually pay attention.

[Asker]

Okay but how? Like how does one pay attention? That sounds dumb but it’s just really hard for me to like focus and sit and chat. Maybe walking dates would be better so I could actually move around? But sitting and listening to someone talk just makes me zone out

[Jamie05rhs]

Hmm. That's actually not a bad idea. Why don't you talk to him on the phone while you're walking around?

[magiusX26]

try approaching a guy you like after you have spent sime time getting to know gim before trying to date in any way. try strikung it up as a friend only 1st and build up to maybe dating, being sure to have two way communication including him actually getting to know you as a person 1st too.

[BUNroaster]

Interested to get you to fuck, thats what it seems like I don't know. Try having interesting experiences in your life apart from finding love though. Thats all I think can actually help there.

[SirJohn42]

Nothing wrong with you im sure older men like you. Just go up tp them flirt with them.

[Anonymous]

Go on dating apps and set the age your looking for at 50 plus. I'm sure their looking for eligible trophy wives

[Asker]

I’ve tried that 😂 they all want skinny blonde babes and I’m nothing of the sort

[Opinion Owner]

Not all of them. Trust me you'll find a loving old guy. My best friends ex girlfriend 19F at the time found and married her 56M husband and their happily married and have 3 children's together and 2 plus from his previous failed marriage. The reason why she's with her 56M husband because she's has a much deeper emotional connection with her husband then she had with my best friend. That's one reason why she dumped my best friend and the other she told me that sex is way BETTER with her 56M husband then with my best friend.

[pokenstroke]

are you honestly interested in some of the some things

[JoyGirl]

Did you call this guy?

[Guanfei]

I think they're already interested in you.

[ayomanwya]

Attract mature men your age 🤔