How can I attract men around my age?

Question

So I’m 22 with no children working on my career. I also wanna date but I’m really irritated because I only attract older men. I mean late 30’s and up and they all have kids. I don’t understand why I can never attract men around my age! It really messes up my self esteem. When older men approach me, and I tell them I have no kids and that they are a little too old for me, they get offended!! Like sir what could we possibly have in common? And ur a parent! I don’t wanna be a step-mommy! I’m literally in my prime!! Some of these older men are so delusional I swear! Anyway but yea can anyone give me advice on how to attract men my age? I wanna meet someone young like me to grow old with. Thank you :)

BullShark · Accepted Answer

As someone who's also in your age group, I can give you a couple pointers that may help you. Let me start by saying that one thing you NEED to understand about the men your age group is that we're all simple-minded creatures, and more than huge aspirations and stuff like that, we desire the simpler, more finer things in life more.

Nothing attracts us more in a woman than a girl who's a great person to hold conversations with, is fun to hang out with, can take a joke and joke back, or if not, can laugh along with us in our silly humor, and is mentally and emotionally mature. Guys our age also don't want a girl who's emotionally unavailable or just loves to play mind games, and believe it or not, most of us who've already been through a tough break-up already, or have been single for most our lives (because gen z is doing worse than literally every other generation before it so far), WILL NOT play into the mind games that girls nowadays like to play.

If you're thinking playing hot and cold will make him chase you more and make you seem desirable, well guess what? All you're going to be getting are you're messages being left on seen and him simply just not responding to anything you send him. Us men in our early twenties are simple-minded creatures, which is why we also get played easily, and when we do, yeah. It's not nice and it breaks us, because we usually have no one looking out for us.

So yeah, in summary, how can you attract men your age? Just be a decent, sweet and genuine human being who doesn't beat around the bush and is honest about their feelings. If you're already all those things, get out there and meet new people.
All the best!

JacobJordan · Accepted Answer

You will have to look in places where guys your age that want to marry congregate. Good luck with that as presently 50% of single men do not ever intend to marry and supposedly that number is growing. Unfortunately you are going to struggle because of your gender. A very loud very vocal minority have almost destroyed women as a gender with their false accusations of rape, sexual assault, abuse, divorce just so they can steal half of a man's possessions. Cheating and forcing a man to pay for a child that isn't his and a few other things. It is quite sad because I see a lot of young men and women that want to get married and be happy but neither are able to find each other because of various movements trying to destroy everything. If you want any hope of marrying I highly recommend you avoid everything modern women say you should do. Avoid going for career growth, avoid taking pictures of yourself a lot, avoid revealing clothes, avoid sleeping around, avoid talking badly about men, avoid modern women as a whole, if modern women say you should do it don't. They are miserable and alone and want you to be miserable and alone just like them.

Kelley1 · Accepted Answer

All men, regardless of their age, want to marry a girl your age. Every simp, your age wants to marry you but, in your mind, they are not good enough. Fortunately, they are not as persistent as older men. On another site, the most frequent question I am asked is, "Do you like older men?"

I respond that I talk to (no touching) older men but you are above my dating range. Sometimes, they say, "Age is only a number," but seldom are older men rude. It is only that they keep trying and keep hoping.

Your problem is the same as mine. The guys I want are not asking. Well, they all ask for sex but not marriage. That is because they can or at least believe they can do better than me.

If I am not engaged by this time next year, I will lower my expectations a bit and lower them further the following year. By age 22, I will lower them enough to get married, because I am not going to hang around hoping for the improbable while my sexual market is dropping.

If getting married is important to you, lowering your unrealistic standards is what you should do. Your desirability has peaked and it is downhill after age 22. If you keep waiting until age 25, guys you reject now will start rejecting you.

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

Try going online or going on meetup groups. Or if you're religious, then church young adult groups.

Good luck. I met my ex here and he was around my age, but for reasons I cannot disclose here, it didn't work, but maybe it could work for you.

If not, then I'd try going to college or going to work. Lots of good, un partnered, no children, type of men there as well. But yeah, also depends on where you're looking.

ManOnFire · Answer

I am one of the few older guys out there who has no desire for young women around your age whatsoever. But yeah, it is more than common for many men my age and older to all want young things, so you're going to deal with it a lot.

I really can't say why guys your own age aren't approaching. It could be for reasons we can't see about you in real life. Maybe you're like other girls who purposely wear cold, standoff-ish expressions but then hate that no guys want to talk to you, or maybe you appear too young for guys your age. Or it simply could be a bare fact that they don't find you attractive. Again, we really don't know because we have no idea what you look like or what you're doing, but there must be some kind of reason guys aren't interested.

Finchie40 · Answer

Best thing for you to do is go for the guys’ you are interested in, don’t wait for them to come to you , most guys’ in general are shy when they see a beautiful girl , they feel she won’t be into him , so they won’t approach you because they are nervous and scared to be denied , Most guys’ love when a girl approaches him first. Times have changed , it’s ok for a girl to ask a guy out

Avicenna · Answer

Don't you meet any men your age professionally? How about through friends?

HawkPerception · Answer

I think your bias towards all men that are 30 and up is a little too negative and untrue for all of them. I understand that everyone has their preferences and it's completely fine for you to desire a man around your age, but you shouldn't put other guys down just because they're older. Most women actually prefer older men. Some only a couple years difference, some 5 years and up, and others could be 10 years difference or more. It's because of a dominant, submissive dynamic in relationships. Men generally prefer smaller, shorter, weaker, younger females and girls generally like bigger, taller, stronger, older men. It also translates to the bedroom.

Most men also don't figure out their lives until later on in life and missed the opportunity to do a lot of things in their younger years. You could have a lot more in common than you realize.

Anyways, away from that topic. If you want to attract men around your age or any men in general, you have to socialize and go to places where you can meet them. The other option is dating apps, but meeting organically is always the best way to go. Don't be afraid to approach them either. Most men are oblivious and nowadays don't approach women as much because we're always under some surveillance and in fear that something will be called harassment. Just start a conversation...

At a cafe: "Hey what's your favourite drink that you get here?"

At a library: "Oh I love that genre! What do you like about (genre)?"

At a bar: "Hi my name's (your name). How often do you come here? I'm new."

Etc.

Open your mouth and approach.

Anonymous · Answer

You can't. That's not how attraction works. If you make yourself more attractive, you attract more of ALL men, young men, old men, married men, single men, smart men, dumb men, religious men, degenerate men--literally ALL men. And if you are less attractive (say you throw on 50lbs) you'll attract fewer men of all kinds.

Attraction is a BLUNT tool. It's like an atom-bomb--not a sniper rifle. You can't "target" it at just the dudes you like.

All you CAN do is screen out the dudes who you don't want to date. If you do that and there are no guys left who you WANT to date, my suggestion to you is put yourself in an environment where there are LOTS of guys of the type you want. In your case of the same age. Turns out there IS an environment that's just TEEMING with dudes your age: college! But it seems maybe you've already left college and are out in the world. Well, now it's going to be tougher because people your age are more spread out. You're still very close to college age so you could hit up a nearby campus. Else, you can consider joining groups that have a lot of people in your demo (alumni groups are one such example, or various "young professionals" groups). Or friends of friends, etc.

If that doesn't work in the next few years as you work on your career, you could consider going to business school to get your MBA and and MRS.

Good luck!

Claire2002 · Answer

I will start with a premise: Beware, because a lot of guys' opinions in this thread fall into the category of the guy who is 30+, trying to convince you that you should like older guys. Mentioning things like sexual market value and non-sense to pressure you into stating with a guy in his 30s you don't like, just out of fear.

Coming to the question, how to attract guys around your age? You can't change yourself into being liked by guys around a certain age, but what you can donis change environment. Stop going to the meetup in a bar with pathetic old men who immediately jump on the first woman they see. Start frequenting circles of people where the guyd are around your age. This doesn't give you the guarantee that they will be attracted, but at least you'll set yourself on the right track.

Fireguy17 · Answer

good luck.
Females mature 2 to 3 years earlier than males.
It's just how mother nature designed us.
So either find someone older which it sounds like that is who you have been running into because they are looking for someone younger, or eventually you will find someone that is more mature for their age.
Possibly where you are looking and where you are meeting them needs to be changed, or the type of person, pretty boys, gym rats, self centered, maybe you need to change that as well. Hang in there the right person is out there, you just haven't met them yet.
Finding the right person is a lot of work, just like a job.
It takes a lot of time and effort.

SotiCoto · Answer

You're going about it in the wrong order for one thing.
If you go about trying to find a partner in one step, like explicitly trying to pick up strangers with the intent to find a life partner, everything will end up screwed up one way or another.
A better way to handle things is to start with something you like doing. A hobby or somesuch. Then find social events or gathering spots for that interest where others with similar interests get together. If you can manage that much then you should end up with both more friends AND romantic potentials in due course... and since the shared interests will already be there and you'll have to get to know each other without everything being tainted by "looking for a relationship", the potential for being horribly mismatched is lower.

dragoblack · Answer

Whether around your age or older, you will find many many insecure males who can't take rejection well and get butthurt because they don't work on acknowledging and getting over their insecurities. Dating is very rough nowadays and many around your age want hookups that develop into relationships. If you want a relationship based on getting to know each other, good luck, but it's easier with guys. Most of us are honest and straightforward with our intentions and our hintings are pretty obvious. Just be straightforward and you will have better luck, compliments help too since men very rarely get them. Just be careful of the red flags

SphynxUK · Answer

It’s not about ‘who you attract’. That’s not important, so why focus on it?
It should be about who attracts you!
If you see someone you like, make the first move.
And while I’m here, I may as well say don’t dismiss someone based on age alone. You could miss someone special. (And not all fathers want a mum for their kids. That’s a bit of a sweeping assumption from you).

BadApple69 · Answer

So older guys are attracted to pretty young girls…plus they aren't afraid to go after those girls. so you will be hit on by older men, that fact won't change. Younger guys aren't as bold as the older men. So less likely to chase after a girl. With age comes confidence and wisdom…. So if you want younger men you might have to be the one to show interest first.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Ah shit... even AI bot already cheated on me here. I was gonna say men your age are struggling and they'd like to find women, but they can't afford to. That's why you gotta send me nudes.  Winning the race of life.

Drew-1990 · Answer

I am sorry, there's so many guys. My age are older after girls like you. Don't settle for guys my age. I'm 33. I don't need a 22-year-old. I agree, you're too Young for me and I'm too old for you. You can do dating apps which I know suck. Also I'm sure you can meet guys anywhere. If you got guys approaching you even older, you're obviously attractive, the guys your age might just be scared of you because of how attractive you probably are.

DextroShade · Answer

You can easily attract men your own age but there is a catch: they won't be rich because wealth takes time for men to acquire. If he is young and rich he is likely an entertainer, athlete, or drug dealer and he will sleep with other girls. If you want a serious relationship with a man near your own age you will have to build with him.

Yannae · Answer

A group activity. Maybe a Meet up event and see who is attending. An activity done by people around your age. It sounds strange. Sometimes there are events where clubs have demonstrations of what they're all about for all to see, you can check there who is in that club.
You can also just walk up to someone you like. My girlfriend was a stranger sitting across. To her, I was a stranger. To her now, I'm her boyfriend. But both wouldn't know what could be if none of them tried.

JayBones · Answer

If you are working on your career it's already over. You'll never have time for kids and thats the only reason men put up with women. Young men are looking for girls to impregnate. Your dating pool is older more established men that can afford a nanny.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

You need to look in the right places. In a bar you're far more likely to find older men and young guys looking to have sex.

In places like a church, a school (sort of), a community center etc. you're not likely to find those around your age that value that. Remember you only need to find one person so don't waste your time trying to fix people or fixating on age

DreamLife7 · Answer

You're not saying much about yourself. Do you go out? Do you have hobbies? Do you have a personality? Do you have friends? how do you look?

No offense, but if you look ran down and shabby these types of men are going to approach you because they feel like you settle for the bare minimum and they need someone to take care they kids

Anonymous · Answer

Babble about IG, SC, Tik Tok, all that shit. Talk about yourself... CONSTANTLY. Seek attention like there's no tomorrow. Those are all dead giveaway signs to attract Frat Boy Chad with Bros In Tow. Of course, you'll get spun around faster than a Maytag... but I'm telling you, that's what they look for and eat up faster than Fruity Pebbles. 👉

jshm2 · Answer

They are only asking, dearie. No harm in that.  You probably look 40, and they are looking to date a MILF!  Change your Karen attitude and style to something more your age.

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