Why is my girlfriend "confused" about our relationship now getting gifts for my pet cat?

[Apope16]

My girl has ADHD and Depression/Anxiety.

She is "confused" about whether she wants to continue dating me after an argument. I went no contact and gave her space the last 2 weeks.

But during the 2 weeks she can't go more than 1 day without an excuse to reach out. We decided to continue going on romantic dates but scaled back to once or twice per week. No change. Plenty of kissing. Just no sex. No sleep overs.

She is still angry about our disagreement. But the last 2 days she has gone on facebook in local giveaway pages. She's always on there... however... these last 2 days she's been finding gifts for my cat. She found free cat food for pick up. She found a little cat tree online at 1:00 a. m. She typicallyis in bed by 10:00 p. m. Then she tagged me to the posted item. She has no cats or pets.

she's still "confused" after our argument but whats her play here?🤔😳

She still has feelings and wants to date you again

she's just being nice as a friend

She just randomly saw it and thought of you

She is playing mind games and shit test

[Dazed0N0Confused]

She's all over the place mainly due to her ADHD. Her brain is probably going a million miles an hour, jumping all about, trying to make sense of it all. She's thinking about "X" then gets side tracked with "Z" then she's thinking about "M" then she's at "D" then she's back to "Z" then she remembers "X"... Of course she's probably confused...
She's probably contacting you as a way to test the waters to see if you two are still on decent footing while she figures it all out... & gaging your continued interest in her. Honestly, if she's reaching out to you & is giving you physical contact such as kissing, I wouldn't be too worried about it at the moment, but still weary of it.
Regarding things for your cat, it's just another way to keep involved with you. If you're anything like me, your cat is like your baby, & we dote upon our babies at times. She's showing you her interest in that being BOTH of your cat, mainly your cat, but that she has an interest in Mr/Ms Kitty-Cat too.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Someone having ADHD andor anxiety/depression doesn't explain why they are confused about a relationship or confused about their romantic feelings.

If anything, people with those diagnoses are more likely to suffer from low self esteem, which is a very changeable thing and does not encompass someones entire identity. It may affect the quality of their experiences which is also different.

Anyway, her posting weird shit isn't about her having a mental health diagnosis. It's probably her still having feelings but also she hasn't been given the REASSURANCE that the argument has been resolved. As a boyfriend or whatever you are, you can provide that.

By taking the time to actively listen (and sometimes this means asking the right questions, not to get the answers you like, but the answers that identity what exactly she is insecure about). She probably feels anxious about something that you think is small, which is normal. In hindsight, it was probably not taking that one thing seriously that is leading to this big discontent now.

All problems are solvable, but that does not mean all parties are capable of fixing them. When in doubt, ask yourself after a long day, do you want someone to read you a solutions manual, or do you want to feel comforted and told the world is okay? All the best <3

[Jahizamy]

Sounds to me like she is pulling all the strings. The relationship only continues if SHE says so.

I think that's a dangerous predicament to be in. You're basically telling her that whenever she wants she can come running back to you and you'll be right there waiting for her.

Let's stop analyzing her for one second. What is it that you want? And don't fall for that depression/anxiety, ADHD I can't think straight bullshit.

[Apope16]

I want to rekindle and date. Im dating others at the moment while she figures things out. But i am positive she's only going on dates with me. I want us to be together

[Jahizamy]

There goes your naivety again. ALWAYS assume she is going on dates with others.

Let me ask you a question. What if this on and off stressful relationship pattern continues if you guys do get back together? Are you okay with such a pattern?

Are you willing to live 40 years of your life with this girl with periods of no contact and mixed messages? You are making a grave mistake if you think this is a one off situation, most likely if you guys get together you will be seeing this pattern quite frequently.

If I were you, I would be looking a healthier relationship and person. Don't fall for her games.

[Anonymous]

Funny that... women never get 'confused' with men that set and enforce boundaries that they know they can't mess about with. The minute men stop putting up with bs from women, that's the second women will stop giving them bs.

[lumos]

These are all actions that are consistent with someone being confused and not being able to make up their mind. And on top of that, having ADHD/anxiety will naturally make her go even more all over the place. She doesn't know what she wants, so none of the options in your poll are really applicable. Give her time to figure things out. This might mean that you'll be in limbo with her for a while, and hopefully you're ok with that. If not, you might have to cut her off, especially if she can't make up her mind within a month or two. If someone wants to be with you, there will be no questions about it. Moments of doubt should stay moments.

[lol20075]

I'm thinking either A or D. She may have taken that time to rethink her feelings for you and found that she does indeed want to continue her relationship with you, or her insecurities may be kicking in and she's trying to gauge your reaction by doing nice things.

[amadimal]

You said it yourself - ”she can't go more than 1 day without an excuse to reach out”. I think that's exactly what she's doing; she's too scared to approach this situation directly, so she's ”testing the waters” to see where she stands.

[pleasestopthis]

Relationships are too complicated, if she isn't so sure doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't care about you. It seems she does care. The thing with the gifts... it could be that she just thought about you or wants you to see, just like I send memes and stuff to my friends, you're looking too much into things

[Gwenhwyfar]

Definitely A. Also C but C is a subset of A (math word lol).

[SavageGirl101]

Sis is interested but doesn’t wanna show it and I have adhd and I could go days without talking to people so I don't know what’s wrong with her😭

[Coulis]

Hmmm... could feel guilty could wa t you ba k. Could be a mix of both or ot sure which she feels. She wants to hear and see you to see if that will help her make up her mind.

[LegendOfTheHairSniff]

Youve mind fucked her and now she's seeking all kinds of things for relaxation. Arguments never end well. Just let her get back to normal and seek you back out.

[Anonymous]

What is it with people on here?

This girl was bad news from the start. She’s all over the place because she’s mixed up.

What is a ladies man doing dating such a woman? There’s plenty more pussy in the sea right?

[Apope16]

Ladies man fell in love. No longer about pussy

[pepperhicks]

She is still interested. But what was the initial argument about?

[AFellowWeeb]

[Juxtapose]

She's yanking your chain man. Find someone more reliable.

[msc545]

She is in love with your cat. Cats are extremely attractive and seductive!

[Waldoe]

she has decided that your cat is Not an issue for her

[BlacklightShade]

She's cheating on you with your cat.

[zagor]

She obviously prefers pussy...

[Anonymous]

how long have you been together now?

[Joecat1959]

Do the pencil test!!