What if you don’t feel butterflies when dating someone new?

[Anonymous]

I met a new guy I like him. He doesn’t give me butterflies. But I do feel comfortable with him. Does it matter?

[btbc92]

It doesn't mean anything. Unless you like him as a person. You can't really like him unless it's based out of physical and sexual attraction of your own desires and or lust. Unless he is just attractive. You can't really just like him. To be honest, I question a lot of what these scientists or biologists say about such things. I began to realize if somebody gives me "butterflies" it is either gas or anxiety. That's all. I realize that love and attraction, in general, should not produce negative feelings, which is probably why most people have poor relationships and marriages unless that is out of anxiousness or excitement. Don't always go by that unless it is your intuition trying to warn you about something. It really doesn't matter as long as nothing bad is happening. It is a personal choice on your end if you desire to get to know this guy or not. Your feelings should not always dictate what you want to do, especially if it is not healthy. Make sure you have healthy rational and logical reasons to get to know him. Make sure he is aware of what you want, how you feel, etc, and vice versa. Communicate, or ask yourself why are you investing time with the person?

[Asker]

Oh my this was really good advice. Thank you I feel I could communicate a little more. I realize I had the butterflies feeling with my exes who were no good. I don’t have them with him this could be a good sign.

[btbc92]

WOW. That was just a theory. But what you said confirmed my suspicions all along. Then that is definitely a good sign. I think what people are saying is backward. My close friend said the same thing when I told her the difference. She realized the same. If they gave her those feelings, they never worked out even though I sense it intuitively and told her not to anyway. Now she learned the difference, the relationships have shown to be very different.

[Siren777]

Feeling comfort is better than feeling butterflies. Butterflies cloud your judgment about the person where as someone who makes you comfortable gives you a sense of stability (the feeling that is) there is no games and it feels the way it should. Romance has dramatized love in a way that you're supposed to have "butterflies" what if butterflies are actually a warning sign instead.

[Jesus_is_the_guey]

Not everything has to be all HS I’ve read your comments and he just sounds mature and something you might need in your life bad boys just end up being low life men I’m still trying to turn my life around for my past mistakes and I’m years behind everyone my age I say hang on you might need him more than you think

[BarryLiverstone]

What’s it been like on your dates, or have you gone out with him yet?

[Asker]

Yes, we’ve gone out twice. It’s fun we laugh , and talk

[Asker]

He also a different type of man from which I’m use to. I use to date bad boys. He’s a good boy lol

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s a good start. Did he kiss you and do you feel sexually attracted to him? You think he’s into you?

[Asker]

We haven’t kiss yet. We are supposed to hang out today I hope he does kiss me. The sexual attraction is there. He says he is into me. He has shown he’s interested. But it’s really hard to read his body language. He doesn’t show expressions.

[BarryLiverstone]

That all sounds positive. If you hang out today it’s even ok to kiss him. Sometimes it’s tough as a guy because if we like someone we don’t want to come on strong or be too sexual in the beginning because we hear feedback from other girls how all the players just wanted one night stands. So as a result we try to act like gentlemen and even more conservative to less touch and give you distance. But after 2 dates it seems appropriate to kiss a bit and hopefully he’s proven he isn’t just dating you for one thing

[Asker]

Yes really patient , which it new to me. I’m use to guy being a bit too touchy on the first date. He hasn’t tried anything lol. I did give him a shoulder massage last time I seen him. I hope today’s the day for a kiss lol

[BarryLiverstone]

Good luck. As I said if you wanna a kiss, kiss him. He will kiss you back and your romantic story can begin today :).

[Asker]

I’m going to go for it. Thank You so much.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Digging the confidence; confidence is sexy

[HollyK21]

Depends on how much having butterflies means to you.

[LostSmile]

Friend zone him if you don't feel it like he does