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I am 29. Have been in a relationship for 9 years from 17-26. Now I have been 3 years not dating and just enjoying my time alone and as single.
Recently I started looking again and was very lucky to have found a woman were things are procressing well. I am just so out of place when it comes to dating like I dont know what is normal or whetever I should worry or not.
Im gonna list a few things that bother me, maybe you can shed me some light if I am just stupid or it beeing something I should have an eye on:
1. I can't seem to figure her out what she thinks at times. She will mention stuff and when I inquire she says I shouldn't bother or that she is thinking about something but can't tell me bec it would make me mad? Like why even mention it if she really thinks that in the first place.
2. Kissing. She kisses way different than what I am used to with my ex as funny as it sounds. It kinda feels like I have learn kissing all over again with her. She tells me that no one ever complained before so maybe its on me and my ex and me just kissed weird haha? Anyways I almost always have to laugh when kissing her bec it feels so funny to me.
3. Sex was kinda bad and way to early in my opinion but couldnt say no. Im a guy with inbuild hookup/cheating protection meaning I dont get hard until I have some connection and trust bond with someone. I guess her ego was hurt and we haven't tried again or initiated. Dont talk about this evening at all. At least she came so there's that.
4. Her texting game is really bad like I am getting only one short text a day at an very late hour even when she's free. When we meet up however she is all over me.
5. Nearly all dates/meetings are initiated and planned by me. Same with intimacy expect that with point 3. She always reciprocates and is motivated to meet.
Regardless those are only the negatives I have rn otherwise she seems like a dream women to me and I see myself starting to think of her daily.
Recently I started looking again and was very lucky to have found a woman were things are procressing well. I am just so out of place when it comes to dating like I dont know what is normal or whetever I should worry or not.
Im gonna list a few things that bother me, maybe you can shed me some light if I am just stupid or it beeing something I should have an eye on:
1. I can't seem to figure her out what she thinks at times. She will mention stuff and when I inquire she says I shouldn't bother or that she is thinking about something but can't tell me bec it would make me mad? Like why even mention it if she really thinks that in the first place.
2. Kissing. She kisses way different than what I am used to with my ex as funny as it sounds. It kinda feels like I have learn kissing all over again with her. She tells me that no one ever complained before so maybe its on me and my ex and me just kissed weird haha? Anyways I almost always have to laugh when kissing her bec it feels so funny to me.
3. Sex was kinda bad and way to early in my opinion but couldnt say no. Im a guy with inbuild hookup/cheating protection meaning I dont get hard until I have some connection and trust bond with someone. I guess her ego was hurt and we haven't tried again or initiated. Dont talk about this evening at all. At least she came so there's that.
4. Her texting game is really bad like I am getting only one short text a day at an very late hour even when she's free. When we meet up however she is all over me.
5. Nearly all dates/meetings are initiated and planned by me. Same with intimacy expect that with point 3. She always reciprocates and is motivated to meet.
Regardless those are only the negatives I have rn otherwise she seems like a dream women to me and I see myself starting to think of her daily.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
So I recently talked to someone that similarly got out of an 8 year relationship and although he was single for a short period of time, I noticed it’s going to take him a LONG time to actually start dating again where he isn’t comparing his ex to other women. You need a fresh start, and you need to go into dating without comparing someone to your ex. This woman is probably massively feeling insecure because 1. She knows you have cold toes with dating because of your long relationship, 2. It’s very hard to compete with a long term relationship.
Oh I am not expecting it to be like my old rl and it has been 3 years and 2 years since we last spoken to each other. She holds a place in my heart but I truly moved on.
Am truly for the first time since my last excited relationship to be with someone.
My ex was the only partner I ever had so I am comparing things and wondering or worrying if this is allright because she has been the only experience I could take as comparsion/experience.
Any women I dated inbetween didn't lead to more than 1-3 dates.
I think honestly she’s very passive towards that relationship.
She’s into it, otherwise she would have rejected you, and seems you’re into it but not completely since you have something to complain about.
I see your points are all about your specific way of interacting in certain circumstances: sex, kisses, texts, appointments.
Sure I think you two have to communicate more: you have a uneasy feeling, it’s evident, but you should tell her. You should tell not in a way accusing her (you’re not good at kissing/sex is bad/I don’t understand you…)
But maybe trying to help her be more confident and open.
It’s ok she reacts positively when you’re interacting with her but she should be more active and more open. I can feel your uneasiness thinking “I can’t reach her all day at messages, is she ignoring me or does this mean she’s so busy she can’t even text for a minute?”.
There are evident needs you have, maybe you have this clear because you know what you want from the relationship, while she is ignoring/doesn’t know all this.
I think you should tell her gently, maybe trying to make her do the first step: organise a date, maybe let me know how are you some times every day, maybe try something different in bed…
To answer you definitely: yes, dating can be a very awkward moment if you don’t find the way to unlock. And before of ending up in an awkward relationship, you should communicate and talk.