I'm 36 and he's 23 do we have too much age gap?

[Itsroxxie]

The guy I have a relationship atm is 13 years younger than me.
I don't care much but some friends called me a cougar and make jokes about it...
I know he goes with other girls too and I'm ok with it (I just want sex and time together from him) but I also wonder maybe we could try having a full blown relationship? We already date after all, and he does dating & romantic gestures for me... or it's better to keep it friends with benefits?

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

I'm a bit confused to be frank - didn't you ask a question saying you were afraid to date because of your age?
I take it that you are more confident about having a no strings attached sexual relationship rather than a committed one?

Anyway, getting on your current question - I'd say that age gap could be a problem if you make it a problem.
I have dated women ten years older than me and although there were some different views regarding expectations in the end everything worked out fine. So I suggest for you to sit down with this guy and have a frank chat with him about how you feel and what you want.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

Thank you for MHO!

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope not to big a gap.

moving from casual to relationship is always an awkward move.

often when it’s casual we ignore stuff you need in relationship and concentrate on the sex.

if you can try dating without the sex for a bit (nightmare), then this sort of shows if you are ready.

I've moved from casual to casual singular and then relationship, it does work however also had one where we simply went back to sex, as we sucked living together lol.

take it easy and it needs to be mutual and trust, so neither partner can keep having other ‘interests’

[Anonymous]

I'm a 43 year old woman in a great marriage with a guy 16 years younger. Age gap relationships absolutely can work, but you have to make sure you and your man are on the same page on several things.
1. First thing is level of commitment. There are a lot of younger guys who aren't interested in full commitment. They may just want to mess around and enjoy a woman's company, but not much beyond that. Assuming you're looking for long term commitment (and based on your status I'm assuming you are) I still think that's OK at the very beginning, but within a few months you're going to want to establish that you want a committed relationship (if that's what you want). Don't beat around the bush. Tell him up front exactly what level of commitment you're looking for. Don't go too far as to tell him you want to get married tomorrow, but do tell him you want to be exclusive and see if this will work out long term. If he's down with it then fantastic. If not then you dodged the "non committal young man" bullet.
--If you want a committed relationship DO NOT just accept a casual sexual one. If he's content with that then he's totally wasting your time
2. Maturity. You have to make sure he has compatible maturity levels with you. Age doesn't automatically signal maturity. My husband (16 years younger) is more compatible with me maturity wise than my ex husband (5 years older). Age does correlate with maturity, but it certainly isn't a definite indicator of it. If a long term relationship between you two is going to work you've got to have compatible maturity levels.
3. Whether or not to have kids together. You've got to make sure you're in sync with your goals of having (or not having) kids. For me it worked out since I still wanted more kids in my early 40s (in fact, I'm pretty confident getting younger sperm made it much easier for me to get pregnant). However, there are many times when a desire for children is much different between age gap pairs. This is one of those things you've got to be on the exact same wavelength as him on. If you're not the relationship will not work because this (along with maturity) is easily the #1 thing that can make or break an age gap relationship.
4. Other life goals. You've got to make sure your life goals are compatible beyond just kids. Will there be an issue if he wants to move for a new job? If you've got kids can he handle being a good stepdad? I feel like there's a bit more room for compromise here than #3, but your life goals still have to be fairly compatible (and can be affecting by an age gap)
5. Lifestyle differences. There's likely going to be some degree of lifestyle difference with a major age gap relationship. However, depending on the degree it may or may not be that big of a deal. You've got to figure that out yourself.
6. Similar value sets. This is true regardless of age gap, but I'm putting it down because of how extremely important it is. You can have fairly different interests, lifestyle preferences, etc. and still have a good long term relationship. However, your value sets have to be super, super similar

[lycanthrope3]

Why worry