He's 27, I'm 19. Is this age gap too big?

[Anonymous]

I'm casually going out with this guy, who is amazing, except he's 27, and I have some misgivings about that. Do you think it's a creepy age gap?

[steve1122]

Yes, very creepy. Sure, age is just a number.. a very important number! The younger you are, the more an age difference matters.

Everybody goes through different stages in life. In the earlier years, the stages come a lot closer together. Think of how high school was such a big step from junior high. Then from high school, you went from not thinking much about the future, and into college, where you suddenly are thinking of a career and what the rest of your life will be like. Out of college, you are in the working world, with yet another whole perspective on things.

Big differences. Important differences. Later, as you get into your 40's and 50's, it doesn't matter so much. But when you are younger, it is huge.

I think older guys are looking for easy sex, and they will get it from younger women who believe they are far too sophisticated and mature to date anyone their own age. But the younger women are just as guilty. They often use older men for financial reasons, and to prop up their weak egos with a status symbol. I don't think either is better than the other.

[spartan68808]

I don't see a problem with it, but I'm a pretty open minded person. A lot of people do have an issue with it but if you both like each other who gives a sh*t what anyone thinks? I'm interested in two girls at the moment, one is 17 and the other is 27 lol (I'm 19 btw). A couple months ago a girl flirted with me on multiple occasions, fully knowing my age, she was about 24-25.

What I'm trying to get at is; age is only an issue if you make it an issue. Sure he might be already moving into the real world but if you're both at the same maturity level (which is definitely possible) and appreciate each other as people, go for it.

[Cassie16]

Well...

Personally, my best friend and me made this rule. Until we're eighteen, we have the 2 to 3 year rule. Two years max, three years only if you know him very well (old friend/friend of family/best friend of best friend/etc).

18 to 22, this will be the 3 to 4 year rule.

Just think about it this way; if you were 27 and your best friend said "hey, I just had this really good night at the club with this girl, her name is ... and she's 19". What would you think? Isn't she a bit young? Take someone of your own age? Aren't you a bit further in life then she is?

Or would you think it's perfectly normal?

Make that and visualizing where you are now and where you will be then and the same for him the base of your decision. That's my advise.

[J_celyn]

No I don't think it's weird I'm in my second year of college going to my 3rd and I'm 19 and he is 27. We love each other but sometimes we feel insecure of our age. Just last night I had gone out with my boyfriend to round1 with his friends and they where capping on me for my age. After my boyfriend and I talked and he told me that it's a big gap and he sometimes feels sad it got me mad that his friends where being such jerks. I honestly act more mature than them, they definitely act like 5 year old. But things like this shouldn't affect you guys bad if you care about each other's. We have been 2 years together and more to come... I'm going to be 20 in few months the fact that we are big gap apart doesn't define our love.

[madmisskelly]

Its not creepy. You are an adult.

What you should look at is why you are with him. What do you have in common, where is the relationship itself going, and why you actually like him. If all your reasons are about him as a person and how it makes your relationship successful then it sounds like a healthy relationship. However, if its more sex than anything else, and he isn't treating you like a boyfriend should, then you need to be real about it, and figure out if that's okay with you.

[Anonymous]

I think the age gap is big, but I don't think it's creepy. To be on the safe side, don't get emotionally attached or too connected to him yet, observe and don't make any commitments yet. These allow you to know more about him, whether he's genuinely interested, whether he has any other intentions, whether he's a player, whether he's manipulative with younger girls etc..

Be careful especially careful if he's a guy who's a great charmer or good with words to sway you, and try to find what he's in this for and whether you guys share any common things which are enough to sustain a long relationship together. So long as you know how to protect yourself all is fine and good :)

[ibell83]

Not really. Either you're mature for your age or he's immature for his age. Sounds like you're making it work tho.. I wouldn't discount an "amazing" person just because theyre a little older (or a little younger). Hey... it's working and it's legal! Don't sweat it. I don't see NAMBLA in your future :P

[lost_soul]

I'd say the weird thing is that you're still in your teens whereas he's nearing 30... also when you were born he was 8 years old... so the age gap is a little creepy. But there are couples with bigger age gaps and as long as you're happy you shouldn't worr

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's creepy but I wonder what you have in common. You're just starting or getting started in college (presumably) and he's probably graduated & working, in the real world. You're at two very different places in your lives which is bound to cause some issues.

But if you really like each other, you should give it a shot & see where things go.

[Anonymous]

yes...

you get loads of people saying stuff like "age is just a number" , "its legal" and "if you love each other its ok".

But the truth in the matter is that you are young, should be enjoying yourself etc and he is way more mature and is prob thinking about settling down and having a family.

It might be great at the moment, but in the long run I can't see this working out

[superuss]

No it isn't too big. All relationships have challenges. As long as the two of you, treat each other well, and respect one another, then there is no problem.

[enlightenment]

yeah...its the fact that you are 19, if it was 29 to 37 its not a big deal, but your young and it makes a big difference at that age.

[BeerME]

You're both legal. If you feel a connection then go for it.

[KH11226]

Not at all. It depends on his maturity level and if you guys are connected together

[brunettebelle]

He is 8 years older, make sure he isn't some idiot trying to get into you.

[Anonymous]

you both are of legal age so its fine. Age is just a number, as long as you too like each other that all that matters.

[martyfellow]

Yes of course, you know that!