I'm 28 he's 20 years old, is that too much of an age gap?

[Anonymous]

So I recently started talking to this guy at my job he's been trying to talk to me for about a Month now but I've been brushing him off because he's only 20 years old and I have 2 kids and to be honest I'm not looking for a fling or "fun" I want something long term. Im not sure if I'm overthinking this or if I should live in the moment and get to know him. He knows that I have 2 kids he said he's okay with it but I just have an uneasy feeling I mean what 20 year would want to be someone's stepdad.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you spend some time becoming familiar with him, you will learn what kind of 20 year old guy is okay with that. That’s the only way you answer this question. What do you have to lose?


1. This probably isn’t necessary but don’t get too sexual with this guy to quick. He is less experienced than you and, for him, sex may quickly get converted into feelings.


2. Don’t let him meet your kids very soon. Little kids get attached to a new guy very quickly and,? If it doesn’t work out, it is one more disappointment/abandonment for them to absorb.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[Asker]

You’re welcome

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My ex-girlfriend, was age 21, and I was age 28 going on age 29, and we were at one time happy with our relationship, but things happen, now when she sees me, she gives me dirty looks because we got into legal actions well it was both our faults for harassment by communications, and it almost landed me in jail but thank God things worked out for me and the magistrate even threatened to send me to jail if I wouldn't plead guilty, so I did and things worked out for me no jail time and no probation.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Smashingdoozy]

Yes. He has barely experienced life at this point. Never date anyone under 25 if you are over 25.

[Avicenna]

If you didn't have kids, I would say, have fun, age gap is no issue. But few 20 year old males have the maturity and stability to help take care of two of someone else's kids. If you are looking for a partner, he is almost certainly not a long term possibility.

And your spidey sense is right on here- no 20 year old wants to be stepdad to two kids.

[saint_reezy]

You two are in two different places in life. Funny thing is, when I was 20 I dated a girl that was 29, definitely wasn’t ready to be in a relationship like she was. It didn't work out and i think she ended up getting hurt. I think back on that and I regret doing that but I was young, when you're young you make mistakes. I think you should just prioritize what matters most to you.

[qwert1234]

Age gap is not an issue, at least for me.

An issue would be, he's 20, you have kids.

He's on prime youth. He will want time, date, sex. And you, have a career, 2 kids and I assume a house to maintain. If you think you can fit him on your calendar, go ahead.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The age gap is fine, but you already having kids, and 99% of the men that are ok with that, are just wanting to hump and dump.

Most guys who want longterm serious relationships see single moms and a dealbreaker. This is because no guy wants to deal with the father, and in the back of his head he will always know he is temporary, and that the father will always take longterm priority in the mother's mind.

Plus the kids aren't his and never will feel like his.

[mommymommymommy]

My mom is literally 1 year and 24 days older than my mom. married 35+. However, I'd wait until he's at least 21.

The other thing you'll have to think about is, is this exactly moral. It's legal, it's just you might want to wait until 21, so he can have alcohol around you/you can have alcohol around him. But like I said, it's still 8 years

[Sparkie460]

There are men out there that are mature at 20 years old. I was 20 when my wife ( girlfriend at the time) got pregnant. I stepped up to the plate and did what I had to do to support her and our baby. Don't worry about the age gap. If you're comfortable with it, go for it

[TracyF]

I don't know, do what you feel comfortable with doing.

[baseball_del_tuono]

No!!! My mom is 41 her boyfriend is 20

[Luckycharms12]

He is 20 he wants fun

[TrillXHippy]

Yes.