Why do I feel jealous of my boyfriend’s female friend?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why, but I feel irrationally jealous of my bf’s female friend. It’s weird because there’s never been anything romantic between them, and (not to be rude) but I don’t think she’s more attractive than me or anything. But I can’t help but dislike her. He slept with her in the distant past before we met, but he also slept with many other female friends and it wasn’t anything other than a ‘fun’ one night stand.

She is his ‘usual’ type looks wise as in being a petite brunette like I am, so maybe that’s why? But he’s never given me any reason to doubt I’m the only one he wants.
He says I’m the most beautiful woman ever inside and out to him and he’s in love with me, and I met his family so I don’t know why I’m insecure about this. What should I do? I don’t want to dislike her but I do.

[Anonymous]

If your boyfriend hasn’t given you any legitimate reason not to trust him, then I think your jealousy, while understandable, is irrational.

Think of all the times you’ve been friends with a guy, and maybe you fooled around a bit but you realised there were no feelings there. It’s probably like that with your boyfriend and his friend. If there was something more between them, they would’ve gone out way before.

You say he was a player? Well the fact that he chose you for a serious girlfriend shows just how much he likes you. I’m not saying this to make you feel better, I’m stating facts. He could still be playing, but he chose you. No need to be jealous of anyone before you.

[Asker]

Thanks girl. I know he wouldn’t cheat on me and I do trust him. I think I just get weirdly threatened 😂

[nikkiflue86]

Does he have a tendency to act a little more different such as a show a little more excitement around his female friends? Does he act almost like a totally different person when around them unlike when. Its just the two of you. If so then he's what you call a MAN WHO THINKS HE CAN HAVE WHAT EVER HE WANTS WHENEVER HE WANTS KINDA MN WHOM MAY I ADD MAY BE CHEATING ALSOKINDA MAN TOO.
take it from Sum one who's been there

[Asker]

No not really tbh, he acts the same way. He also makes a conscious effort to introduce me to everyone. As I said he hasn’t given me any reason to think I can trust him. It’s just probably my own insecurity for some reason.

[Asker]

*can't

[JackSmy]

Sounds like you have a self-esteem, and self-worth problem! If he is with you, and she is just a friend, regardless of the past, it seems YOUR issue, and not anything he is doing!
He's with you, right? Don't drive him away with your lack of self-worth, and your own issues, and fears, in your head!! SOOOOOO many women do this, and then pretend it was the guy's fault, when they, themselves made things happen, being to jealous, and needy, not trusting!

[Asker]

Thanks, you have the same name as my boyfriend. I think I have this problem because I’ve been cheated on/let down in the past by my ex. I really need to sort myself out 😂

[djmzes]

Simple

[Asker]

Ty, What do you mean?

[djmzes]

There will always be someone beautiful or prettier than you. There will be someone more handsome than your boyfriend. But that what makes the commitment comes true. Even tho there are better outside, you are committed to your relationship and make the best out of it.

It is your field, you plant whatever you want. Whether it is smaller and not straight compared to other, but it is yours. Accept it.

So that it. Love is a choice you made everyday whereby you tell yourself you are choosing that everyday no matter what.

[Asker]

Thanks. I am prettier than this girl (sorry to be arrogant), but it’s mainly just the friendship that bothers me. But I get what you’re saying. Even if adriana Lima came along he’d choose me.

[djmzes]

That it. So no need to be jealous for nothing. Some jealousy is ok like a bit of it but too much is wrong.
So no need to worry. If it is bothering you, tell your boyfriend and if he is mature person, he will know how to navigate the situation and reassure you.

[Jahizamy]

An attractive guy and an attractive girl can't be friends. There will always be that underlying sexual tension and as long as it's there, it's not friendship, it's pretendship. It's pretending to be friends while denying your inner urges.

I would feel jealous if I were you and frankly, I would make it a deal breaker, her and the rest of girls or me. Just saves you time and energy for the eventuality that there will be some foul play, if there hasn't been some already.

[Asker]

I get that, but (I sound really arrogant here but I’m stating facts) I’m more attractive than her. By quite a lot. I know my boyfriend chooses me and he’s never had feelings for her or any of the other girls, because he used to sleep around a lot so the sex didn’t mean anything. So my boyfriend can’t be friends with anyone who’s even remotely attractive? I don’t think that’s possible. I don't know

[Jahizamy]

Is she sexually attractive? Then yes, there is underlying sexual tension. Is your boyfriend good looking? Then yes, there will be underlying sexual tension.

Has he hooked up with her before? Then yes there will be underlying sexual tension.

He can be "friends" with her. I've been "friends" with girls I am attracted to sexually, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't sleep with her under the right conditions.

If anything, her being a "friend" actually makes it easier for him to hookup if they wanted to.

[Asker]

I don’t think my boyfriend will cheat on me, I actually do trust him. I am his first serious relationship bc he was a player in the past. But he’s never given me a reason to think I shouldn’t trust him.

She is ‘attractive’ but so are many of the other girls in his friend circle. In fact they all are. So I don’t get why I’m feeling like this.

[Jahizamy]

You're feeling this way because it's not normal. Guys simply don't remain "friends" with girls they've slept with.

You can continue believing he won't cheat, I'll tell you one thing, this feeling you're getting is going to remain as long as he retains "friends" in his life.

[Asker]

I don't know, thing is I’ve slept with one of my guy friends and while we’re not close friends, we’re in the same circle. There’s no awkwardness there and no feelings.

[Jahizamy]

Then keep let him continue being "friends" with them sweetheart. You're jealousy is not going away anytime soon, so embrace it. Don't say I told you so when reality hits you in the face, chances are if they're "friends" you might not ever find out about his reality.

[Montano_lady]

I think it’s natural to feel that way. Maybe if you became friends with her too it would ease things? I don’t know

[Asker]

Thanks. They’re not close close friends or anything, like they don’t do anything together one on one. I am my bf’s first serious relationship as he was a player in the past, so all the girls he slept with before weren’t serious. I am friendly to her but I still feel some type of way. Maybe I’m just insecure 🙃

[Montano_lady]

I don’t know how to solve your problem but your question reminded me of this funny YouTube video www.bing.com/.../search

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Cause no matter what people tell you, and you tell yourself

GUYS AND GIRLS can't BE JUST FRIENDS

IT doesn't FUCKING WORK

UNLES THEYRE GAY

[Asker]

So my boyfriend can’t have ANY friends who are girls? It’s not like they’re close or anything, like they don’t hang out one on one. They’re just all in the same circle

[Asker]

I have friends who are guys, and they may be attracted to me but they’d never consider dating me or anything

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Like i said

THEY can't BE "JUST FRIENDS"

I GUARAN FUCKING TEE IT

[Asker]

I’m just friends with a lot of guys though 🥴

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

No, you're not hun

GET THE FUCK OVER IT

And I wouldn't even be friends with you, why should i?

You're an anonymous fuck

[JackSmy]

@itsmeitsme1989 I TOTALLY DISAGREE, and I AM NOT GAY!! I care about the people, in my life. I can be a REAL MAN, and CONTROL my sexual feelings, and not have them, when they are inappropriate!!
Not all men, are Knuckle-Dragging Barbarian ASSBAGS that just fuck anything female! Some of us have EVOLVED!!
I have A LOT of female, married friends, and yeah, I flirt with them, and tease them, to make them know they are still AMAZING women, at their work, and how they look. So many of their husbands don't seem to care, and don't treat them well, and love them, like they deserve, so yeah, I try to make them smile, and maybe feel like someone thinks they are AMAZING!
It's such a simple thing, that means so much, and it ISN'T SEXUAL, or IMPLYING SEXUAL DESIRE!!
A guy can be a very close, big-brother friend to a woman, when they have trust, and friendship, and it has NOTHING to do with sexuality!!

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

i guarantee you dude, THEY CAN'T BE JUST FRIENDS

[JackSmy]

@itsmeitsme1989 Sounds like there is something wrong with you, dude!! Best to get that fixed, or you will die alone. . .