Is the end of my relationship or am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I got into an argument on FaceTime last night because I felt like he wasn't putting in the effort he promised me in this relationship. Actually it wasn't much of an argument because I brought up the topic and he stopped talked to me and faced the phone to his ceiling so I couldn't see his face. After that I hung up and cried and he hasn't tried to contact me at all since. Is this officially the end?

Updates

+1 y

Hi everyone, thank you for all the amazing responses.
Even the ones I didn't really want to hear.

My boyfriend did end u contacting me last night, apparently his phone was dead the whole day and he didn't realize I was even upset with him hence why he went straight to sleep the night of our argument I felt a bit over dramatic hearing that.. lol

In light of everything everyone has said and his response to this situation I've asked for a break. I guess we'll see what happens from here :)

[Anonymous]

Given your age group, I’d say save yourself even bigger headache and just dump him. Until I met my husband, I’d hand onto these guys where I always seemed to be putting in more effort than them. They’d eat it up but never reciprocate. The longer I stayed with them, the worse my heart would break. If I would go back in time I’d tell myself that there really are good guys out there, they’re just incredibly tough to find.

My husband and I actually put in equal effort in our relationship, and it works great. But we both had to unfortunately kiss a lot of frogs before we found each other.

The challenge really is, are you strong enough to love yourself and let go? Thinking back to when I was your age, I was stubborn and I was so sure I could change the guy, so I couldn’t. If you can’t, and you have to keep going just to know, it is what it is. If he breaks your heart, I hope you have a good support group that won’t bring you down and be there for you. If you don’t have one, start building relationships with people and prepare. If you ARE able to break it off with him, however, then good for you. You WILL find someone better that you deserve.

If, on the other hand, you want to try and work things out with him, and he ends up willing to put in the effort and it DOES end up working out for you guys, then congratulations. It’s not necessarily out of the realm of possibility. Every relationship is different and you’re the one who knows it best because you’re in it.

Keep in mind too, Mr. Right does exist, but Mr. Perfect does not. Mr. Right could still make you cry, but it will be rare, he will know to apologize and will be genuine in his apology, he will strive to never let it happen again, and the tears you shed won’t be gut wrenching. Mr. Wrong will make you cry, not care, apologize but never mean it, and you will constantly feel like you have to forgive him, not to mention your heart will feel like it’s shattering in pieces every time he makes you that sad.

No relationship is perfect, even the best ones, but the right relationship is one where there is an equal amount of give and take going on.

[SueShe]

I don't think that it is the end of your relationship.

People fight all the time and those fights are the cement in a relation. Sometimes, the cement gets brittle and crumbles, but that would be way into the relation.

The fact that he does not call you indicates that he is upset and that he needs time to get over the situation. It can also be a good sign because that means that he gives it a serious thought. He probably knows that he did not live up to his promise and feels cornered.

If he does not call in the next 24 hours, be the wise one and give him a call but don't accuse him or start another argument. Ask him to explain his attitude but again, don't corner him or give him deadlines. However, you have to remain firm because otherwise you would signal him that you feel it is your fault that the situation ended the way it did.

[Truthbewithyou]

Smart girl for noticing you're not getting effort.

If I were you, it would be the end if he didn't contact me and if he didn't start putting in effort.

[CrypticViper]

He may be upset, but I don't think it's the end yet.

[Iron_Man]

Probably not He will call you soon

[Danny_dan92]

What was the topic?

[Asker]

I felt like he wasn't putting as much effort as I was - like if we wanted to see eachother I would go get him, cancel plans for him etc but he wouldn't do the same for me, even after I asked and I knew he was free to do so...

[Danny_dan92]

Ahh I see... sounds like you’re in a toxic relationship tbh

[Asker]

oh... so new question, should I message him first and ask about it or wait for him to come to me?

[Danny_dan92]

Considering how he became an asshole after you brought up a concern of yours like a grown adult normally does?

I would say that he needs to realize this, and grow tf up and apologize for acting like a little spoiled brat does when mommy or daddy says no to buying them a candy bar at the grocery store

[Danny_dan92]

And to spare yourself from even more stress later on down the line. You could just dump the fuck.

Up to you, I’m saying this on the premise that over my lifetime I’ve dealt with shit like this from women I’ve dated. And trust me, I know how it upsets you.

Looking back at how they were not in a relationship with me anymore is a testament that people like this deserve to be single.

But that’s my opinion