Do girls reject guys if he leaves it too long to ask her out and they just become closer as platonic friends?

[Anonymous]

No - Timing makes no difference

Yes - the further you develop your relationship as a platonic friend, the harder it becomes for her to see you as romantic partners even if she liked you at first

[Blackcupcake]

No, I think it’d be easier for me to actually like a guy if we have the time to get to know each other and start building the trust without the pressure or expectations of dating. So it could go two ways. We connect on a deeper level than friendship and I start to like him, or we just have a good and platonic friendship.
Or a third option would be that we don’t click on any level and we both go our separate ways.


So to answer your question... it’s a maybe for me depending on how our “friendship” develops.

[Asker]

But in order to connect with him on a deeper level than friendship would require action from the guy?

[Blackcupcake]

What kinda actions are you talking about?

[Asker]

Show Interest.

[Blackcupcake]

Well of course, I wouldn’t put in any effort or energy into trying to get to know someone who’s not showing any interest.

[Asker]

But I meant he has to show romantic interest?

[Blackcupcake]

No not at all. I’d actually prefer it if he wasn’t all flirty and stuff cause that puts my guards up instantly

[Asker]

So what does he need to be? Wouldn’t you just only end up seeing him as a friend otherwise?

[Blackcupcake]

sure in the beginning, but as we get to know each other things might make a turn...

I guess it’s hard to explain but let’s say you start talking to someone, in a friendly manner. You have great conversations, a good mixture of fun and serious. As you keep learning more about the person you either connect with them on a platonic “friendship” level OR you start to develop other feelings. Then you start acting more on those feelings and if they’re feeling the same then the path of friendship changes into something deeper.

[Asker]

Thank you for the detailed explanation. Really great insight. If you don’t mind - I’d like to ask - what determines whether you connect with them on a platonic level or romantic level? I know that might be harder to answer but have you noticed any patterns on what kind of guy or what kind of behaviours makes you develop more romantic feelings for someone?

[Blackcupcake]

It depends a lot on his personality... also if the sparks are there then eventually it’s gonna be hard to ignore, which is something I’ve never had with any of my male friends. That’s why they are just friends.

It’s hard to explain especially when it just happens. Sometimes you don’t realise that your feelings are going somewhere else until it happens, and you won’t understand how. I’d say just go with the flow and enjoy yourself. See where it leads you.

[Asker]

Thanks. It’s a good insight. This is going to be where I get a bit controversial but I think whether that feeling is triggered is a lot to do with how the guy behaves. I think attraction works differently for men and women. And in women, those sparks are largely created when men behave in a way that’s attractive to women.

[Asker]

This stemming from evolutionary biology.

[Blackcupcake]

hmmm... I don’t know tbh. Can’t agree nor argue with that statement.

[Asker]

Well you wouldn’t necessarily be aware of it. A lot of instinctive things us humans do are subconscious.

[Blackcupcake]

Fair enough, you’re right on that one.

[Asker]

But you can analyse patterns and I think there are scientific studies out there which show that women are attracted to certain types of behaviours.

[Blackcupcake]

yeah that makes sense