Why do some girls tell their friends when a guy asks them out and they reject him?

[Anonymous]

Why do they have to tell everyone and embarrass the guy?

[Finchie40]

Because Girl’s love to talk and gossip about shit , more than guys do , but trust me their are guys that do this shit as well , It’s pretty much people that are seeking attention, , it’s a selfish trait most people have , guess what happened to me today so and so asked me out , , Oh How dare they ask me out , Like they had a chance with me , Eeeewww what were they thinking? , Like they had a chance with me , Pretty much people that think their shit don’t stink, that need a good slap across their mouths to wake up and face reality , whether their intentions were to be disrespectful and rude or their intentions were just to gossip about what happened to them , they are the type of people seeking validation and want to be center of attention, to make them feel good about themselves without putting themselves in someone else’s shoes , They only think about themselves , But they won’t say shit, if they were the ones that were turned down , That’s the problem with a lot of people in this world , barely anyone can admit to themselves that they are wrong and selfish , if people actually put themselves in each other’s shoes before speaking things would be a lot better , we are all imperfect people, but instead most people want to be the center of attention not realizing how much of an asshole they really look , When I see people do this I just laugh at how pathetic they are and just shake my head. I use to say things to them to make themselves realize how much of a douche bag they are being but then I realized what’s the point. I guess it’s something they will eventually learn through their experiences in life. My thing is , their is no reason to be rude to someone that finds you attractive and is interested in you , Just because that person might not be your type their is no reason to embarrass that person for trying , the only time you should be rude is if they don’t take no for an answer. It’s not like we walk around with signs flashing above our heads saying what we are interested in , or what are relationship status is , everything in life is a 50/50 chance

[zeitgeist057]

Human beings are social animals. Like monkeys, wolves, otters, dolphins, etc. Part of what it means to be a "social animal" is establishing hierarchy or social status. Whether they want to admit it or not, humans are always doing things to establish their social status. Things like buying expensive goods, copying the fashion of others (or trying to be a trend-setter and getting others to copy them), following social cues, fitting in, establishing dominance, showing off, bragging, showing how helpful they can be, supporting others, and many other actions. People get their cues from others, and the most terrible punishment we can inflict on others is ostracizing or isolation. In fact, one of our most severe punishments in society is to remove that person from society and put them in prison for a period of time. When in prison, one of the most severe punishments is to remove the person from general population and isolate them in solitary confinement. You can also see examples when toxic people practice the silent treatment or ghosting.

Look at my stuff

The reason girls are letting others know they rejected a guy, is to spread the word about their social value. Whatever level the guy is at, they want others to know they are "out of his league" and above that level.

The expensive watch club

Anyway, it's not about embarrassing the guy, it has nothing to do with the guy. It has to do with the girl trying desperately to be loved, accepted and valued by demonstrating that she isn't desperate.

[JustAnj]

I had that happen to me as a woman but I know guys don't like it, I know this because he felt bad for how his friends harassing me and it also embarrassed him to have his business out. Mind you they were older, managers of were I worked, and should have acted like adults.

It was annoying, I even looked at them like gee I'm in my early 20s and you guys act like your in middle school...

I eventually spoke out to one of my other managers who had a crush on him because it was stupid to have to deal with immaturity in a work place. He also did not stand up to them but he at least asked them to stop.

They didn't.

So I told my manager, knowing she would look out for him also knowing he was trying to get a higher position, what was happening and how I was getting sick of it and if they didn't stop I'd report them to cooperate and HR. Right away she went running to him to warn him.

They stopped, he looked like a scared puppy but also felt bad, he came up to me and apologized for how they were acting with me.

I feel like this happens mainly in groups of people who are more extrovert but I could be wrong.

He was an introvert but seemed gossipy, before he could undo telling his coworkers on his position level that I asked him out, it was to late... he definitely learned that day not to gossip at work about his personal life. lol

[Biancam13]

I don't do it to embarrass him, I just tell my friends everything. I never say it in a "ew he asked me out" way, I always just say he's lovely and etc and he asked me out but I said no.

Rejection doesn't reflect anything bad about the guy asking, it just means I wasn't feeling it for whatever reason. Nothing personal. Everyone gets rejected. I've been rejected too.

[BullShark]

You answered your own question. It's to laugh, berate and make fun of the guy for trying to daring to ask them out. Some girls (not all) who have entitles, twisted and sadistic mindsets, think they're above every average guy there is, believing they're "the real catch", so when some dude dares to ask them out, they'll reject the guy if he doesn't tick all their boxes and then laugh at him to their friends over a chamomile and some biscotti at Starbucks or over the phone.

It might go something like "OMG Lauren, guess what? Remember Ed from English class? Yeah, that loser who still lives with his parents. He came up to me after class today and asked me out. Like, on a date! Can you believe that? Haha what a loser amirite? He actually thinks he has a chance against me! Nooo thank you! And besides, he drives a fuckin' Civic. I need a guy who at least has a Mustang."

[Rania05]

Honestly it's really mean when someone humiliate another person's feelings, it's true that women tend to be more sadistic emotionally than men.
I don't know about girls you know, but all girls I'm friends with share it with caution in their tone when they mention a guy's confession to them, either feeling sullen for hurting him, considering accepting the confession if the guy persist after giving him a chance or simply afraid of his entanglement.

[BullShark]

@Rania05 that's really sweet if they're like that. Back when I was still a teenager in school, I'd know girls who would blow guys off just for daring to ask them out if they weren't attractive enough to their standards, and it happened to me a couple times as a teenager in school, back when I wasn't in the "cool kids" crowd, still riddled with social anxiety.

How'd I know they were doing this? Not only did I catch them sometimes gossiping about me in class to their friends when they thought I wasn't around, but other more popular bullies too started bullying me because of it as well. It was a dark time, and even though as an adult, I've cut off all sorts of contact from those toxic people since and the girls I do know now irl aren't like that at all; the memories still remain and I sometimes pull away regardless when faced with the choice to ask a girl out now or to tell her how I really feel about her

[ManOnFire]

Girls like telling people that a guy is into them, even if she’s not into him. And they love telling people even more how they rejected him. It's just an ego trip. The good news is since you know a girl does that, you probably wouldn't want to date one like that in the end anyway.

[Bluemax]

For a variety of reasons. She might just be telling her friend about her day. She might even feel bad about it and needs to vent. She might be warning her friend if the man did it in an inappropriate way. She might be a jerk who wants to belittle the guy (in which case, you dodged a bullet)

However, if you did it respectfully and politely, why on earth would you be embarrassed? I don't think you should feel embarrassed if that's the case.

[FilmGuy93]

Women see stuff like that as a flex. I’ve had girlfriends tell me about all the guys who want to fuck them “that don’t stand a chance” because they genuinely believed it would make me realize how lucky I was to have them.

To be clear; I absolutely cherished those women as lovers, but it wasn’t because other men wanted to fuck them.

[Googlemyahoo]

I once had an ex stand up in the cafeteria and yell at me across the room about the time I jerked off in front if her ( we both did actually but she thought it would embarrass me ) people were like OMG!

I yelled back, “yah … so?” Continued eating, everyone started laughing at her.

[bolverk]

It is the deadliest form of character assassination on the planet, the men can be blameless, but GOSSIP can damage their character without an ounce of solid evidence needed, and men cannot fight it because they never know that the damage is done til its too late.

[NottaNatty]

It strokes the Ego, also she might be trying to might want her friends opinion on whether to go through with it, you know being indecisive. Or for conversation women talk a lot more than men they also don't seem to always realize it may be embarrassing to the guy. The girl's on here can correct me if im wrong.

[Vegasrunner]

This is a good question but I would argue that it's not about "embarrassing the guy" It's more about generating validation from their friends. It's important for women to feel as if they are receiving equal or more attention in their group so they share these experiences to show they are receiving Just that. It's no different then guys telling their friends about a chick he banged.

[maximumpower]

1) Attempt to convince themselves and others that they can "afford to be choosy."
2) Belittle the guy - for any of a myriad of reasons - bc she's a bitch.
3) She's not into guys and trying to telegraph to her friends that she'd rather get with them.

[BlueScorpio]

They're just sharing what happens with their friends, plus it's a topic for a conversation.

[Rania05]

I said it to my close friend when I rejected a guy to rant how I'm feeling troubled if I did it the right way because some of the guy's friends blamed me for not even giving him a chance when he asked me out nicely and that I had dozen ways to reject him without hurting him. And when it spread to all classes of our grade I apologized and we became on talking term again.

Honestly after this little episode in my life I figured the only available way for a girl to reject a guy is to say 'No' and there's absolutely no need to feel bad, shamed about it and also no right to be disdainful of the guy.

[Twalli]

Possibly telling their friends so they know he's ready to date. My girlfriend almost turned me down because she knew her friend liked me (actually two of them). One said to her "If you don't want him, can I have him?". So she may have turned you down because she isn't besotted with you and her friend (s) are. If one of her friends asks you out and you like her, you'll be lucky she told her friends.

[abhi44444]

It to ask about opinion or tell them a new goat has come also I have questions why do Hollywood actor have so many good actor whose acting so naturally how do they become actor in move in our India there are less whose movie fail many time but they famously

[Anonymous]

It gives the other girls an amusing story to enjoy.

It lets others know that they're attracting dudes.

It lets others know the kinds of guys they ACTUALLY like (as well as what they DON'T like) so those girls could introduce them to guys they desire.

It warns the other girls that this dude is on the prowl and may come for them.

That seems like a good set of reasons.

[melanieeeB]

Conversation lol "Oh you know what happened today..." (a normal conversation and just telling about your day, like an adult and not to make fun of someone else of course!)

[Brandi555]

Because we tell each other stuff. I’d never do it to embarrass the guy. When I tell a friend that stuff it’s because I’m sharing a negative experience. I feel bad rejecting. But it’s less hurtful then pretending to like him.

[jshm2]

The same reason guys do to girls.

It's important for the group to not include people who have a previous negative encounter with the group.

[Kayla45]

It's just typical gossip, sometimes it's not a bad thing. Some girls laugh about it afterwards, but I don't know if my friends ever mocked a guy for trying, that's for sure.

[cth96190]

Because it elevates their status among the female collective.
Also, women by nature dislike men and seldom miss an opportunity to put the boot in.

[slatyb]

The guy needs to get over that. Also he should start dating adults instead of overage high-school girls.

[Anonymous]

Let's face it. Today's women 30 and below are looking for guys that fit the rule of six. At least six feet tall, have at least 6 inches of equipment and make at least 6 figures in income. If you don't fit don't bother her!