Regrettably, a lot of men do exactly what you've described. It's the path of least resistance. I'm sure you would agree that men come in all different shapes, sizes, types and styles... all of us with varying level of emotional intelligence. Some men just can't express their emotions verbally, while others don't have the social skills or female relational skills to navigate the situation you described. I'm not bashing men, we're just different. Some of us don't have the skill set to deal with it. Yes, we're afraid of hurting her feelings, and some of them are afraid of even taking with her about it. Again, each of us are different. It's easier for them to just do nothing that to hurt her feelings. If you're dealing with a really young guy, he is likely trying to preserve any chance he may have for sex. Some guys will keep a girl around just in case he has the opportunity to have sex with her. I'm not saying that right, nor do I agree with the strategy, but you do need to know it happens. My advice would be to pick a guy with higher "emotional intelligence".
We generally have much less experience when it comes to rejecting women. We also are all too familiar about how emotional, oversensitive (even psycho) some women can act when getting rejected so it makes us nervous.
I had a female friend of my previous tenant make an aggressive sexual advance on me in my house last summer. I wasn’t interested and I had to awkwardly say no. She then went into my bathroom and cried for 15 minutes. Finally I got her to come out and talk snd she made a threatening remark along the lines of “you have a nice place here I would hate to see something happen to it”.
If the roles were reversed and I even did even a fraction of what she did... just imagine what could happen. It would be “metoo story” at best or more likely the police would of been called me.
I was very nervous she might do something really stupid out of spite. Like make up a false rape accusation or something. I ended up giving her a massage to calm her down (NOTHING else). But still the double standard was infuriating. I also had one ex openly threaten to kill herself after I respectfully/carefully broke up with her a few years ago.
Women aren’t used to rejection and many can’t handle it well. But society doesn’t hold them to the same standard as it holds men when it comes to that.
Or they are trying to figure out if she's safe cause they have been hurt in the past... if he says no just friends is that enough for you while he figures out if lets say his ex cheated on him.. so he's examining your behavior while your just friends.. if you go date someone else he feels like he dodged a bullet if you stay interested in him alone you will see how he will open up over time it just takes being completely comfortable in silence.. there's a song I like that might protray it better than I did
From what I read on GAG, I don't think guys are worried about rejecting a woman. I think most of it is sincere laziness and the fact that they have no one BETTER to go off with.
Unless a new woman is ready and willing, guys will stay with a substandard one because, well, it's regualr sex.
Opinion
52Opinion
Yeah, nope... that would not be even a concern for most men. For us to even think that we start anything up with a girl that we may potentially reject and thus settle for just being friends... and thus just sticking around without making a commitment.
That is not how most men think, if any thing, we are afraid of ruining a friendship by being rejected from trying to scale things up to that level. The thing is, that if we truly like you... the thought of not having you as a friend anymore, is the main reason that a man would not go there... no matter what.
I mean to see you, our friend, find someone that you become romantically interested in... is like pure hell! As your friend we feel obligated to support you and him... All the while wishing and praying that your relationship will fail.
Even if it does fail and you are available once again... nothing will happen between you two... since that same fear of losing you as a friend... kicks right back in. That is why most intimate relationships occur between strangers... neither has anything to lose if it does not work out and everything to gain if it does.
If I am not interested, I do not approach, nor do I respond positively to her approach.
Younger men may be surprised, but once women are on the wrong side of 35 it becomes common for them to make the initial approach.
They disguise the approach as some form of social interaction, but the vibe is there.
If you cannot imagine yourself making babies with a female, do not explore that road.
Spurned women become irrational and spiteful. They will use a false allegation to destroy a man’s life, just because they can.
if i am around I've already made the commitment to be there. hard for a woman to see it from a mans perspective because estrogen chemically makes a women emotional and testosterone makes men logical. Women I've been with often have to classify the relationship but theyre always unaware I've already done that
In a situation like this essentialy the girl is less attractive to him as a girlfriend.
Afraidness reigns in when he gets confirmed that if he pulls out his dick she will suck, in a sense that if he proposed her she will accept but since he is unaware about many of her traits he doesn't.
May be he think that its is he who has made an effort when it comes to relationship at least initially so it can be difficult to digest at once that this time its from the other side. This brings in insecurity about the girl approaching other guys too, no doubt guys like shy girls who are reserved they get an easy tick. Ofcourse they guy can offer a fuck but i guess that girl won't accept.
His past experience can be hurdle to commitment issues too.
That does exist.
Certainly in guys who have no clear plans or desires or/and are too afraid to pull their own weight romantically.
I wouldn't do that to a girl - when interested genuinely I show it (and consider I don't have the time to string anyone along - there is someone ultra adorable I got to notice and talk to since two days ago - it is love and passion already, essentially, she makes my day gorgeous, would gladly marry her to start a fsmily/will do so, providing she is happy to go there/get out of her current, probably being-strung-along relationship).
Wish us good luck 🤞👨👩👧❤
Why would I confront someone that clearly doesn't make a real move. It's her lost time if she doesn't find out if I am interested in the same thing. So no not for rejecting. It would be trying to make something work that would be a bit trickier to dare to find out.
its kinnda same as in the opposite direction. it feels good if someone has feelings for you and gives you attention even if you are not attracted to them. so you leave them around.
most honestly it would be, that you talk through it and move on. but guys are many time the same assholes as girls. they have the girl around in order to put pressure on other girl that they are actially atracted to. or just to have someone around when then are lonely
Breaking up with the girl definitely know something I look forward to, and I don't expect to be FWBs after that but if that's the way it works out then that's cool. That's actually how it is with my ex, we broke up, but we still get together once a week for dinner and sex lol.
You will never know if someone has deeper feelings for you until you find out for yourself by asking or expressing yourself. If someone sticks around without making any commitments, then clearly they are not on the same page as you if you are the one who want to commitment. They want the benefits, but don't want the compromises that become. They're basically single
No, we're not afraid of rejecting a girl, we're usually afraid of being rejected. Outside the top 5% of all men that all you women screw and pass around, most men don't have many options. You know that hot guy that banged you and then went on? Yeah, he banged all your friends and maybe some close relatives too. He's banging another chick just like you, right now.
People stay in bad situations for a variety of reasons. And women do it as much or more than men, so it's not a 'man' problem.
If she doesn't outright say she has feelings for me then how is it stringing a girl along. I'm not going to reject some one for something they never expressed. If she makes a move or confesses her feelings and I do not feel the same, then yes I will reject her
Most men have men filter.
So everything they do is based on not hurting her feelings.
Which is what’s destroying our world.
Confident men with more experience with girls have no problem saying no so they don’t stick around if they don’t want to and then I’ll give a fk about the girls feelings you just say no which is the best way.
But I wouldn’t say men are afraid of rejection in that sense.
Some does just like females.
Little messed up to do that toward someone instead of being straight forward without sugarcoating.
It hurts/damage less too if we are straight forward without sugarcoating. even brutal honest if we know how to be it in a proper way.
(a lot of people don't understand this )
Not because he's afraid to hurt her but because he is comfortable. Its comfortable for men to hang out in a dead end relationship. Its not for women who are seeking the commitment that never comes. This is exactly why girls should save their virginity for marriage to avoid exactly this.
I don't like breaking a girl's heart... But too many of them flip the whole world upside down over being turned down by a guy they had feelings for. If a chick turns out to be like that, she has NO chance with me. Especially knowing they think nothing of rejecting guys that come to them.
Unfortunately I feel like my ex did this. He didn't want to be with me and was scared but always came running back when times got lonely. He made me feel like I was just a contingency plan to him and would never be good enough.
I had an ex who had a “top ex girlfriend’s” List
I was ranked number one VS the current girlfriend he was having issues with. I didn’t catch on until he started talking about The List and what each female brought to the table including me. And in the end all he wanted was a backup ex girlfriend to be there IF and WHEN the current girlfriend didn’t work out. What a douche!
Well personally if i know surely that someone of my opposite gender is attracted to me and I'm not I'll confront her and tell her that I'm not interested and vice versa won't put her on hold or give her mix feelings. And yes we're (at least I'm) afraid of rejecting someone that's why tell them about my feelings at the start.
Huh? They aren't afraid of rejecting you, that's absurd. They aren't committing and keeping you around for no strings sex.
I think girls are more like that. I usually get rejected if I bring up my feelings and they are not reciprocated.
