How do you get over being rejected over and over again?

Question

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

It's all about your mindset.

First, to answer your question directly, the way I see it. Dating is a lot like car shopping. You might be a perfectly capable, surely very valuable mercedes Benz, but you can't take it personally if the girl you asked out is looking for a nissan rouge or a bmw or a racecar.

Obviously we can all work on ourselves, get better at conversation, dress/present ourselves better, take better care of our bodies, be more self aware etc. But the first thing to remember is that there's plenty of fish and dating is a numbers game.

That said, I think your more useful answer would be to take a step back, be honest with yourself and ask yourself: what is the biggest thing holding me back that I can change. And also to remember:

Whenever you're unmotivated or feel like you're fucking everything up lately, it's because you're not in a winners mindset.

And if you're not in a winner mindset, you're in a loser mindset, it's pretty much as simple as that.

When you are in too much of a loser minds tate, you need little wins. Start off easy. Do you sleep in? Wake up on time. Even if you keep fucking that up, you're gonna get a little better.

You change the time on your alarm, that's one small win, you remember to set the damn thing, that counts as a win. And when you finally wake up at 5:30 am like you're supposed to, that's your big win.

When you have big wins, you can move onto something else and repeat the process. Soon, small wins feel easy. The big ones feel inevitable and you start expecting more out of yourself because you know how capable you are to grow.

Go start winning. You asked for the date, that's a win right there. Keep pushing.

Unit1 · Accepted Answer

,.,.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Oh, the sting of rejection, a feeling we're all too familiar with, huh? Whether it's in love, careers, or even just trying to get your cat's attention (I swear, mine plays hard to get), rejection is part of the deal. But here's a little secret from your friendly neighborhood relationship coach: it's not about the number of nos but getting to that one yes that truly fits like a glove. Now, to dust yourself off and dive back in, it's all about perspective. Rejection doesn't define your worth; it's simply a redirection to something or someone better suited for you. Take some time to reflect on what you've learned from each experience, grow from it, and keep your heart open. Remember, it's not a failure; it's a step closer to success. Keep shining, and that yes will find its way to you! 🌟

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Cynicaldreamer · Answer

First of, shoutout to all the women here that commented about never being rejected: must be nice. I personally cannot relate 😒

As for how I did get over being rejected? Time, patience, and most importantly- I took a break from dating to focus on myself.
It sounds cliche, but it works. My self esteem was atrocious being rejected! I honestly thought I was that ugly and undateable because guys kept rejecting, ghosting, or passing me over- so I just stopped trying and decided to lose weight and get in shape, focus on my job and hobbies, and find friends to distract me-

Because apparently I'm happier when I'm single than being judged, rejected, and disappointed by others... go figure, lol

Bricealan · Answer

Did that on one occasion, with one girl, but years later we became a couple, and were together for TWO years straight.

At the end, she wanted to get married and I balked at getting married, because I could not live down those several years before, that I was always her "second fiddle", and I could not deal with the feeling that she had played enough and was "settling"for me and ultimately she broke off with me for not wanting to get married.

Months later, after she broke off with me, she was calling me back because she was not happy with the men she found later. We went out one time, and that was it. I guess you can't go back

Sadly, talked to her several years later and nothing had worked out for her, and a marriage she had turned into a very abusive relationship for what reason, I never understood.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

While it's hard, you gotta remind yourself that sometimes the trash takes itself out.

You don't want to be with anyone who consciously or subconsciously thinks they're at a different level than you. Life's too short to waste time on people who aren't excited to be with you. If she's interested, within 3 dates you'll KNOW.

Those days of echoing silence, flaky scheduling, or "bs like it's not you its me", DOESN'T happen with a real one. Take all the shots you can, but if none of them hit back, take a break for a few weeks, and then come back when you've got the energy.

molonski2 · Answer

General comment , someone saying " It hasn't happened " , if thats the genuine truth then frankly you have not tried hard enough , you need to face rejection in numerous areas of life , not just romance.

" Over and Over again " , I think its like business , you just yourself off amend what you are doing a little , and get back on the horse , you can't create the serendipity if you are not ready and prepared.

But , these a reason why you are failing and thats why you amend your actions.

sage2021 · Answer

Just stay home and say screw everyone else
Hang out with yourself for about a year, and re-examine your life during that time. Make improvements.

Just don't ask girls out if they aren't in your league. You need to be with people like yourself.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

It hasn't happened... but I don't ask people I don't know... I take time to get to know them better, and if there is this spark between us... the rejection risk doesn't exist...

meeting people is not a race... it's better to proceed slowly and take your time to be sure about the person you are interested in...

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't tend to put myself out there enough to get rejected. I never go into meeting someone with the intention of it being a relationship, so rejection is not really on the table.

I startup a conversation with someone I think may be kind of cool with the intention of making a new friend. If it goes well then fine, I may ask her to grab a coffee or tea sometime to chat some more. If it doesn't go well, then no biggie, it was just a conversation.

electromagnetic · Answer

I’ve never been rejected in relationships but I have failed my drivers test a handful of times before I got it. I think it’s just a matter of growing tough skin and working through it all knowing that one day, it won’t suck as much.

Wiredone · Answer

Sometimes I still get rejected but not for dating. I have to sell myself and my work to my potential customers. Sometimes they reject me, Sometimes they hire me. If I don't get hired I wish them luck with whomever they hire. I always tell them to hold on to my business card in case they get into a jam.

NathanDavis · Answer

I don't put myself in that position... so it hasn't happened if I were to gamble and lost... I'd understand it as such

tomboy2003 · Answer

As a woman who has been rejected over and over again, I must say it’s really sad when you can’t be with the person you have loved or have fallen in love with. The great part of being rejected is the fact that you had the courage to share your feelings and not keep it a secret. You feel calmer when you finally reveal your feelings. I’d say just feel the sadness and the relief that comes with it, and then let it go.

The_Sexpert · Answer

Realise that the person rejecting you does not make you a universally not likeable person.. they rejected you because you did not match their preferences and types

You might be a skinny guy and very attractive but if the girl is into muscular guys then she'll reject you.. not just body type , there are tons of other categories

So just keep improving yourself and keep trying and be happy with the fact that you went for it instead of regretting with a "What if..." later

grega239 · Answer

Basically, the more i got rejected, the more i startes to pick up hobbies.

I currently have a ps4, a laptop 5 airsoft guns, camping equipement, a bow, i finished a star destroyed and an aircraft carrier model.

Im almost done with my motorcycle license and after that fishing gear and a ps5.

I've been rejected to the point where i have no interest in any kind of interaction with women.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Simple. Don't take it to heart.. I made getting rejected into an art form back in my single days. The important thing to do is laugh when it happens.. The look on their faces was WORTH the rejection!

Rami_NL · Answer

If you have to be single, be single with your head straight up and maintain your pride. Work on yourself, meet people, go to the gym, get hobbies and never beg a woman.

exitseven · Answer

I used to tell people that I was really good at rejection because I had a lot of practice.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

It’s hard really hard but I get by it some way somehow

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Pick yourself up, Take a deep breath, Dust yourself off And start all over again.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't.

You play a game till you discover it's an unwinnable game. Then you realize it's a pointless endeavor. Then you stop playing life by other people's rules. And from then on whatever happens happens.

Awesomesauce2005 · Answer

I've been trying to get a date for 3 years and I have not succeeded. Maybe I'm meant to be alone.

BadApple69 · Answer

Sorry... I wouldn't know.

msc545 · Answer

Adjust your expectations and stop using dating apps.

A_Nihilist · Answer

You don't really get over it. You just get used to it.

midnightcavern01 · Answer

Change your technique

dustybiker2 · Answer

Keep living.

Fuentes · Answer

Lol theirs always a bitch who wanna fuck

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

They're "juST" bitchES..

How do you get over being rejected over and over again?

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