Why did my work crush joke that we dont vibe?

[Anonymous]

He said he vibes with everyone easily but that me and him dont vibe...

I know it was a joke but he's refering to the fact we have had tiffs before lol. But we have sick chemistry soooo

[Jlegacy]

Sometimes guys say the opposite of what they actually mean.

[Asker]

We laugh and smile a lot with each other even though he also have a streak of not getting along lol. Otherwise we would just stay away from each other.

[Jlegacy]

Maybe next time he says it, you should say you love your vibes. And see what he says.

[Asker]

True xxx i dont ever say stuff like thst. Im terribly shy

[Jlegacy]

Lol. No need to be shy when you truly love someone. As long as your love seeks their best... you should be as bold as bold itself.

[Asker]

Thanks xxx

[Jlegacy]

Always💗

[MrMilti]

He is not attracted to you. Not a joke.

[Asker]

Is that why he has been hitting on me sexually for a year or longer? He litwrally said You are attractive to me.

[Jfranco12]

The fact that he’s been hitting on you for a year and never made any kind of move should tell you all you need to know

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 oh. He has a girlfriend. But why is he hitting on me then? he's asked me to hang out a lot but i always decline cause i dont dronk

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 he said the statement in the OP AFTER HE HUGGED ME. he asked for a HUG. Are you on drugs?

[Jfranco12]

Are you on drugs? How would I know those details without you writing them in your description? If he has a girlfriend he’s using you as a backup when he’s bored, he has no Intention of ending things with her. Besides, you’re also co-workers and it’s that a risk by itself.

[Jfranco12]

A hug is a friendly gesture, nothing more by the way

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 what should i do? Idont really want him we are not compatible long term and i also don ave premarital sex which he knowsso I don't know what "backup" he wants. Backup attention?

[Asker]

Also what makes you say he won't leave her for me

[Jfranco12]

Yeah pretty much, he’s just using you for backup attention and possibly a backup if his current relationship doesn’t work out. I think if he was going to leave her for you he would’ve done so already or expressed that he is unhappy in his relationship. Besides, would you really want to be with someone that is willing to cheat or leave their relationship for someone else? He would just do the same to you down the road if that were the case. You said you don’t want him and don’t see long term compatibility. I think you’re right, you can stay friendly with him if you want but I think you need to set some boundaries.

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 well thanks for the helpful answer. We dont talk outside work so if i left the job i doubt we suddenly would. That probably says it all about whether we are really friends.

[Jfranco12]

You’re welcome. Yeah it sounds like he’s just a work friend. Keep it friendly but try not to get attached and don’t entertain the flirting.

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 someone online said he sounds like he wants to leave her for me

[Jfranco12]

I wouldn’t trust what someone online has to say, it could just be a rumor they started. Unless the guy makes a move himself then I wouldn’t think too much on it. Either way doesn’t sound like a healthy situation, I would never date someone that just left someone else. Those types of people do the saner things over again and are prone to cheating.

[Jfranco12]

Same not saner

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 yup... I mean this guy flirts with anyone and makes excuses for it. He told me he wasn't flirtin (he was and continued to do so after... undeniably so), and that he flirts with girls he supposedly thinks aren't attractive because he doesn't wanna be mean or rude by telling them to go away when they flirt with him... I don't know its just not adding up xD and he came RUNNING after me... I dont go up to anyone flirting IRL. Im hella shy.

[Jfranco12]

Yeah he sounds toxic, that’s a form of cheating already. Not normal to flirt with people if you already have girlfriend and the fact that he tries to justify it. Sounds like a problem waiting to happen

[Asker]

@Jfranco12 thank you man! People love to say flirting means nothing but its good to hear im not the only one who realizes its serious.