I don't agree with girls in their early 20s dating men in their 50s and above. I believe that men in their 50s and above who go after women in their early 20s are sexual predators who take advantage of a girls naivety and also try to manipulate them into the woman they want them to be.
This might not always be the case though, age barely matters when the two get along very well. It is all about the level of maturity that bring two persons together. I believe that the right person for you is the right person, regardless of age.
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When I said "this might not always be the case though" didn't it imply that I don't believe all men in their 50s and above who go after girls in their early 20s are sexual predators? I also said "age barely matters when the two get along very well"I feel like some of you just pick what you want and use it to attack me. My first language isn't English so if it's not "perfect" I apologize.
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+1 y
And I'm not intrested in having conversations with people who feel it's ok to curse at me to get their point across. If that's how you communicate, you can continue in my blocklist.
I feel love and happiness is love and happiness. That outside opinion towards a couples love and happiness damages even the best of unions.
If people involved themselves with who the outside ‘felt’ as fitting for them, well, that is no different than arranged marriage. Those who have been set up on blind dates, how many remotely felt that individual their friends or family set them up with remotely suited them? Well, that is outside opinion for you.
The best thing any happy and in love couple could do for themselves is to ignore opinion. Your relationship is not the outside world’s relationship. The world placing its own biases upon a couple’s union is a different form of oppression.
Finally, I wonder if you feel the same of women in their 50’s and above pursing and involving themselves with men in their 20’s? Largely it seems the outside world is indifferent to the reverse. In fact, the outside world even seems largely indifferent towards adult women pursing underaged boys. Which when considering on a biological level human females largely reach mental maturity before human males do and yet, the outside world can barely stomach and adult human female involving themselves with and older adult human male is conflicting and definitely sends the wrong message to boys’ value versus girls’ value. Which doesn’t even touch upon the matter of boys or girls being violated and or sexually violated by those of the same sex.
It can be argued that women in their 20’s have a far better idea of what they are doing versus men in their 20’s. However it is interesting that ‘society’ continues to feel that only women are capable of being naive and innocent and the only sex who can be emotionally and sexually used and violated. That women are somehow incapable of also being, “predators”. Perhaps it is why adult women teachers get essentially slaps on the wrist when it comes to child rape/molestation of their minor makes students. Also, the “prettier” this teacher may be the more likely the world will say, “you know he wanted it”. or, “he was asking for it”. Sound familiar, ladies?
The entire point of dating someone your own age is to maximize the chances of a cultural, psychological, intellectual, and physical compatibility. In a civilized relationship these things are important. However, such compatibilities can still be obtained with any age gap: it's just much less likely.
Of course, if it's not meant to be a civilized relationship, rather pure primalism of the old devouring the young to make themselves feel immortal while the young submits to gain the security of a "devil you know" relationship, I personally would oppose such a thing but if both parties are going in with their eyes open I guess I can't object. Although, if both are with their eyes open they should know that what they seek is unobtainable. And, more importantly, not feel like they need it in the first place.
I agree with you. Then according to studies and statistics the marriage is also shorter, the bigger the age gap is.
The sperm quality is also decreasing the older the men get which means their kids are more likely to have genetic abnormalities.
"Evolutionary Psychology studies suggest that women prefer slightly older or similarly aged partners... Several recent studies have shown changes in male reproductive parameters as a result of increased age. In the current review of medical literature, we found evidence that much older men are more likely to be infertile, women with much older partners are more likely to experience problems during pregnancy, and children of much older men are more likely to have genetic abnormalities. Based on these findings, we suggest that reproducing with much older men does not represent the best reproductive option for women, which would explain the female preference for only slightly older or similarly-aged mates. sexual selection;mate choice reproductive behavior; ..."-
I also think old men who date much younger women probably date these women for shallow reasons since the maturity level ain't the same due to brain development that affect the personality and maturity level of the young girls. So it is not healthy relationship amd there will be also a power imbalance since young girls also dont have much adult life experience and the aspect with brain development that i explained
Then men may be attracted to women in their early 20s, but women in their early 20s are not attracted to majority of men since young men aka men their age are minority since women prefere someone their age
Yes, there are young women who marry old men but these are exceptions. So what majority of women really wants is (fertile), (young), (attractive) and nice men who are same age or slightly older than them.
I think a real man dates a woman who demands commitment and respect while a boy toy will date a woman he can control and exploit. The woman in the picture waited over 20 minutes to accept George Clooney’s proposal when he got down on his knees to ask for marriage and I know a girl who rejected her husbands proposal 3 times before finally agreeing to marry him, so it’s okay to marry an older guy if there is mutual respect and division of labour or assets and total loyalty by both parties, now I do agree a 50 year old should not date a woman under the age of 35 because the relationship should be based on love and mutual intellectual admiration and not sexual exploitation.
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What Girls & Guys Said
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My boyfriend is 22 years older then me and it's easily the best relationship of my life. I've had 4 boyfriends before him (all my age) and they were all way too immature for me and had no interest in a real commitment. From my experience guys my age are a lot more likely to only be interested in "dating" me in order to get into my pants (and when you do have sex with them they're often really bad lovers as they're very selfish and not interested in your pleasure so long as they get theirs) My boyfriend now is the exact opposite of all that. I think the fact he's so much older actually makes him more compatible for me then someone my age. Moreover, since I've had a past of boyfriends just wanting me for sex I told him that he was going to have to wait a long while to get sex. He was completely patient, supportive, and understanding about that (even though I could tell he really, really, really wanted it). He told me he was willing to wait for however long it took because being with me was worth it. I never told him how long it would be, so as far as he knew it would be forever. However, when we did finally start having sex (3 months into our relationship) he was an amazing lover. My sexual needs are a major priority for him in bed. He wasn't selfish (unlike the guys my age I slept with) Consequently it's easily the best sex I've ever had. In fact, I can pretty confidently say I want sex even more then he does (which is a first for me in the relationship world)
I finally found someone (in my boyfriend) who loves and cares for me like no one ever has before. I am so lucky to have him- he means the world to me. Again, I think that it in part is due to older men being more mature and more interested in real committed monogamist relationships. Again, I'm sure there are exceptions both ways, but I also think there's a strong pattern there.
bad people will always try to take advantage of the naive and the vulnerable... this is not about gender nor about age difference... predators will just go after the easiest prey and being the same age as someone else will not keep you safe from skilled manipulators, there's also cases in which the younger take advantage of the older, and for that matter... an age gap of 10 years will be as bad as 40 year age gap, when and if, you get involved with a terrible person
My girlfriend is two years older, but I don't notice. She is a beautiful woman internally and externally. The only gap that is visible is our height gap. I'm a foot taller than her. It doesn't feel that extreme to me, feels more like eight inch, but is a foot. God requires mutual faith in Christ and that is present. Over three years would be too much for me, but statistics say 5 years is the safe range.
The people attacking you over this are living in fantasy land. They want to believe they are still young and can have any woman they want but both aren't true. You spoke clearly, they just have selective reading. You even covered your bases by suggesting sometimes it works out, but if your relationship is over ten years difference you're only asking for trouble.
As long as no one is a minor or was groomed to be in a relationship while they were a minor, I think that as long as two people are happy and compatible the age difference doesn't matter. Though I will say that it is odd to me to see a younger person with a much older person. But it's not my life so I can't judge.
Depends. If I see a 30 year old man dating a girl who just turned 18, I don't care what other people say, I'm going to find that sketchy, ESPECIALLY if it's a habit for him to date girls who freshly turn 18. With that being said, an age gap relationship can be definitely normal and healthy, but it has the potential to go horribly wrong if there's a power imbalance.
I started dating older men when I was 22. My first older boyfriend was 13 years older than me. The next guy I dated after my first older boyfriend became the oldest guy I ever dated. He was 19 years older than me. After him I dated older men that were a decade older than me either in their late 30's and early 40's. I stopped dating my last older boyfriend who was 13 years older than me when I was in my late 20's. He was very verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive. After dating him, I realized that all the older guys I dated were mentally and emotionally immature. Most of my older boyfriends date younger women and just shows their immaturity. In my opinion when an older male dates a younger girl in her 20's just shows he immature not mature like most younger women think when dating a older guy. I now only date men who are my age or a couple years older. It feels way much better dating guys my age and a couple years older than me.
Lol I am lucky that I always have disliked age gap so I never had to date a old guy xd and I am sorry about what happened with you. this is why I hate age gap
My oldest boyfriend dumped me by ghosting and left me for someone else. He did not be a mature grown man to break up with me. I found out he married the women who he left me for. they were married for 6 months and his wife file for divorce due to him cheating on her
I’m 30 and I’m dating a 43 yr old woman. I’m very mature for my age and she is very bubbly lol. Sometimes acts like a kid which I think is cute ☺️ so it doesn’t matter the age unless you’re uncomfortable with it. As long as there is a connection age means very little
Assuming you're actually 16 like the profile says, you'll probably find your thoughts on age gaps changes as you get older. Especially when you reach 40
I don't feel significantly different than I did 25 years ago. I have a number of friends who are married to someone who is 20 years away from them, one of those couples just celebrated their golden wedding anniversary - he's 65, she's 86. It depends on the people in the relationship. As it happens my wife is only a year younger than me. If something happened to her and I was single again I wouldn't let age be a factor.
Absolutely agree. Not that everyone fits into the same mold, and there are plenty of young women who only want to date within a year or two of their own age. But more broadly: 1. Younger women are often more open to age gaps. 2. Older women are bitter about age gaps, because when they hit 40, they want men who are over 40 to want to date them, not be attracted to all the women in their 20s and 30s. So what was fine when they were 25 is no longer, not because something changed other than now they are excluded from the interactions they were included in, and who would like that?
Of course, as I said not everyone fits the same mold. Plenty of cougars who enjoy younger men as well.
@zeitgeist057 how? is it true she is 16 she don't like big age gap I am in my early 20s and I also hate age gap believe me I know many young woman who hate age gap. i don't know why people think that only old woman dislike age gaps while I know many young one who find it gross
@Yyyyu I think you are falling into the fallacy that your perspective is the only one, and confirmation bias of finding people with similar opinion the share it. Also having a little difficulty perhaps with reading comprehension? I'm didn't say every young woman loves age gaps and every old woman hates them. In fact, you can re-read what I already wrote, which says specifically, "Not that everyone fits into the same mold... there are plenty of young women who only want to date within a year or two of their own age." and also, "as I said not everyone fits the same mold. Plenty of cougars who enjoy younger men as well.".
Not sure how you missed me saying that twice, but there's twice more for you, a total of four times now. You can re-read the both comments and that will be 6 times.
Both parties must be above age of consent, that is all that matters. Secondly, age gap dating and marriages is considered the norm in most parts of the world where it is believed that the man and woman reach their respective peaks at different ages of life.
I don't agree with that. Just because both parties consent doesn't mean there's no power imbalances going on, which is more likely to happen in age gap relationships because there's more often than not a large gap in life experience. The brain doesn't even finish maturing until around 25. The average 40 year old is not going to have much in common with an average 20 year old, and I don't care what other people say.
Also, I don't think it's a good idea to make the argument that norm = good. It's also the norm in other countries for women to get raped regularly and get sold off to be trafficked.
@Oceation "The brain doesn't even finish maturing until..." I've heard that so many times before but guess what happens as soon as "the brain finishes maturing"? It starts DETERIORATING LOL. This is human development, if we aren't growing we are deteriorating, it's just the way life is. But there's plenty of years and ways to connect with others in-between
But by this "logic" of maturing and deteriorating, it's a perfect match for 80 year olds to date infants, you know they are both shitting their pants and eating pureed foods lol.
@Oceation - There is always an imbalance of power, nothing is blank slate equal, the real world doesn't work like that. As I've said, and you haven't contested this fact that men and women reach their respected peaks at different ages, so if both parties are of same age, there will always be an imbalance. As per the laws of most countries; the brain is enough mature to give consent at the age of 18, so that is what matters, legality.
In vast majority of the world (if not all) rape and human trafficking is a crime, just like they are in the US.
My girlfriend is 12 years 8 months 5 days older than I am. With that said they don't bother me as long as they are reasonable consebting adults. Before my girlfriend my exes were a few years younger than me. Never seeked out younger wo. en but it just ended up that way. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years 10 months 2 weeks 5 days. The longest relationship that I have been in. We are very happy together. We love each other, care about each other, have fun with each other, support each other, trust each other, loyal etc.
I met my boyfriend when he was 23. I was 36. We have been together 9 years now. We have never noticed an age difference cause i can be immature at times and he is mature for his age. We like the same music and all the same things.
I think there fine. As long as they are both over 18 and of sound mind. I wouldn’t have wanted to be in an age gap relationship, but I ended up having two in my life, one older, one younger. The second being my current relationship of 2 1/2 years.
Age gaps really do depend on the age range to know if there are red flags there. A ten year gap of 20 and 30 is generally a bit more of a red flag than say 30 and 40, cause a 20 year old isn't fully mature yet and could have been manipulated, though that's not always the case.
Personally for me, I wouldn't date anyone who is more than a year older or younger than me. My age or one year younger/older is my only acceptable age ranges.
Predator go after children not adults... so even if she's a young adult in her 20s... She's a fucking adult and has a working brain that can understand the world... People should have freedom to date whoever the fuck she wants... She wants to be with the old fart.. she's not being manipulated or brain washed... An adult should have freedom to make decisions for themselves for fucksake... Are you going to implement some law where young adults all have a financial adviser too so they don't make any purchase mistakes? Give people freedom for fucksake... Once they reach the age of 18 they are now responsible for their own actions
And you are jus ridiculous for calling a guy a predator/ pedo for choosing young adults... I dunno if you are aware... But pedo means kid in Italian or something.. it means your attracted to kids.. not young adults... Dumbass
my man is 19yrs older than me.. i am 28yo and he is 47yo.. he looks 35yo...
we met when i was 21 and he was 40... i picked him over a lot of other men for many reasons; he was cute and sexy, he was Single, he was alone, he needed a good woman in his life instead of the bitches that treated him like crap for being a nice man, and i like older men.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
My parents have a big age gap, but it’s something that personally isn’t for me.
I think age gaps are fine, but it’s disgusting when older men are actively seeking out women in their 20s. Why can’t they date women around their own age instead of seeking out a certain age group?
But if two people of differing ages happen to fall in love, and age was never a factor in their attraction towards each other, then it shouldn’t matter.
I think she is a number, if the connection is there and you enjoy each other's company you shouldn't let age hey in the way. I've been with a guy 14 years older and got that was 3 years younger.
I think ideally the man is a couple of years (about 3-7) older than the woman. The reasons are a bit complex to why - but broadly speaking both sexes bring different things to the relationship and men can do that better when being a little older and more experienced. Not to mention that men do age differently than women.
I do cross the line at "could be your father" age difference, though. So around 20 years.
My mum and her boyfriend are 18 1/2 years apart and whilst it was something I had to get used to, I'm just glad she's happy! He's a consenting adult and so is she, nothing wrong with it
