How is your online dating experience? How hard is it for you to get dates when you use online dating apps?

Question

I’m curious how many matches and dates you get per week. For me personally, I get a good amount of matches and probably 3-4 date invites per week. What about you? Asking out of curiosity

Also, if you get a lot of matches and dates, how do you keep up with all of them? Do you get distracted easily? I find it so hard to invest time in one person (that I met and liked) because there seems to be endless opportunities

TheLawAroundHere · Accepted Answer

This was over a decade ago. So there's that...

I signed up with Match for exactly 1 month. Hands down... the BIGGEST waste of money I have ever. been associated with. You would think that if you had to lay some money down, that would help keep the riff raff out of your way.

Nope.

I ran across more garbage than those guys in the orange vests alongside the highway.

Now, im about to type something thats never been written in the history of the recorded word. So strap in.

One fine day, it dawned on me that there exists such a thing called "free dating sites".

A terribly underwhelming way to describe this idea is to call it a "game changer".

When i signed up for Plenty of Fish, my life changed. At the time, it was exactly what i needed. I had started working for my best friend, who would also be the guy that stood for me at my wedding. So the money was getting better. And that helped fund the 2 to 4 dates i was going on during the week, plus every Friday and Saturday nights. Once i had the lay of the land, and also had a stronger grip on the online dating vocabulary, you could say that the pussy bar was open... and i was drinking my fill with impunity.

But, like most things that aren't worth a shit, it got old. Fast.

I had decided that i was gonna hang up my spurs by my birthday, in the 2nd week of January 2009. Id just slam my way through Christmas and New Years. Then wrap it up.

The week between Christmas and new years was very busy at work for me. I run into the head to take a leak. My eyes bug out when i feel a knot the size of my pinky nail on my, well... u know. I damned near had a stroke. I got in my docs office with an emergency sick visit. He says that he doesn't know what it is. But he knows what its knot. I thought for sure i had the clap or some other vd. Nope. Clean as a whistle. Follow up with a urologist afternthe first of the year. Just watch it. Saving grace was that it didn't hurt. I get ready for work that Saturday morning. That knot tripled in size and had me doubled over in pain.

It was a dual staph/strep infection. 4 months, 8 surgeries, and a skin graph later... im ready to get back to it.

When i was rehabbing, i was emailing with this lovely school marm. Ahe understood why we couldnt meet. So as soon as i could, we set a date. We took to each other immediately. It didn't work out because her family bullied her back into a loveless, violent marriage.

I get straightened back out. Then i start emailing this medical assistant that lived an hour away from me. We emailed and texted for a month before we even heard the others voice. Then, we talked on the phone every night for another month. Once we decided to meet, we went "out" only 1 time. The next weekend, she came to my place. I cooked and we talked and laughed for hours. After that, we would switch off weekends at the others place. And when that wasn't enough, we added in every Wednesday night at my place.

We were married in just over a year from our first date. We still spend the most of our time talking and laughing. And, i shit you not... im STILL waiting on our first fight. We dont even bicker over those dumb little points that couples go back and forth over.

So how was my online dating experience? Its reasonable to say that i scored one of the top 0.0001% of online relationships. How could i ask for anything else? I am that deep down kind of happy. Im the father of a wonderful 30 yr old daughter (She asked me to adopt her. I wept.). I have a pair of beautiful grandsons. And im married to, not only, my best friend... but the person that knows, respects, and loves loves me more than anyone else that has ever ; or WILL ever ; lived.

So its going pretty well.

wtf636 · Accepted Answer

Depends on a few things. I think I have a lot of experience in this field lol.

I'm answering this as an average guy, I'm not hot, I'm not ugly. I'm not rich, I'm not poor.

My experience. I like a lot of profiles, and then decide after we match if I am going to pursue them. I get about 1-10 matches in a week, it varies. Out of those I might contact 50%, that I actually am interested in.

Now... out of those women I will contact, maybe 20-40% will actually respond to me. It's really a numbers game as a guy. And even after that, then I have to convince them to actually meet me. Which is about 50/50 I would say. Even with all my knowledge now, used to be much less. That's about 1-3 dates a week. If I'm active on there.

I used to not be able to get women out on dates for a few reasons.

1. My job didn't sound as cool. Most women ask this question right away, it is important to sound like you have your shit together. Once I started making more money and had a better job title, I got a lot more matches/responses. Which increased my confidence, and led to even more success.

2. I didn't understand that talking for days isn't the way to go. You exchange a few basic questions and then suggest a meet-up for a drink or dinner, etc. Doesn't give them time to find someone else they are more interested in. And you can get bored texting with someone for days. Women also like the directness and appreciate a man that doesn't fuck around. I'm also way more charming in person than over text. Much easier to be witty and funny.

Now as far as the second part. It is hard to juggle a bunch of women at the same time without being an asshole. I have tried, and it gets in the way. You can't focus on enjoying your time with one, and comparing them to the others. And end up hurting a lot of feelings. Having to omit details, etc.

So I will go on a lot of first and second dates, but not more than that if I don't see the potential. After that, I will try to narrow it down to 1-2 that I actually want to pursue. And go from there. Once sex is involved, I choose the one I want to pursue.

If I don't want to be their boyfriend after 1-2 months of seeing them. Then I will end it and repeat the cycle. Or I will go all in and pursue a serious relationship.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

My pattern and to answered your prompt: If I was actively seeking and have time to swipe/chat to look for a potential relationship, a good number of matches and asked out on dates 3-5+/weekly lol. But I would get drained easily after 2 - 3 weeks, stop swiping when the matches is too high, and only talked to a selective small number for good quality purposes & flexibility. I don’t ever be active on apps no more than 1-2 months cuz it’s time consuming and disappointments is tiring, then I continue to focus on other areas and priorities in my life.

artsygirl457 · Accepted Answer

i have my own home and job have my life in order but dont have endless time or means to meet people so tried it-- and show nothing! no skin at all im a tomboy, i wear t shirts and jeans yet this is what you get 98 percent of the time, here is just two of the tamer messages first messages keep in mind i got, so yeah no longer on there

How is your online dating experience? How hard is it for you to get dates when you use online dating apps?

go in with no expectations

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I try to not contact too many ladies at one time because I don't want to have four women all agreeing to a first date at the same time. If I start using an inline dating site, I usually start getting dates within a few weeks and rarely go a weekend without a date if I am active on the site.

Anonymous · Answer

I would be talking to 50 girls at once. I have a nice body and been lifting weights for years so I'm sure that's the only reason why I have so many matches. I take a stupid witty dating app description off the internet and put it on there. I have a few shirtless pics where I am swimming, not the douche ones where I am standing in front of a dirty bathroom mirror so it looks pretty natural. I put a few pictures where I am with friends so it doesn't make me look anti-social. I lie about some things like how I was a lifeguard and how I was a volunteer firefighter. I lie about my career as well and say I make a lot of money. My end game is just getting them into bed so I'm not serious about anything so that's why I lie and play mind games. I also have a really good friend who works at a expensive restaurant and when I go there with these women when he's working, I get a workers 50% off discount off the food so I'm not really paying that much. I go on 10 dates during the weekend since I do work and I don't have time to go during the week. Usually most are down to hook up the first date and others try to play the good girl act nd make me wait a few dates. If she tries to make me wait longer I usually put her on a back burner.

ProCoffeeAntiSleep · Answer

I think they are ok if you know what they are. I get a lot of matches and for some reason a lot of messages from guys who want to be domed, I don’t know what I do to give off that vibe but hey.

Very rarely do I talk with anyone for any length of time but if your actually looking to meet someone I would try to move conversations over to Facebook/ Instagram or whatever messaging app you use that isn’t a dating app.

I would say maybe once a month on average for an actual conversation with someone. As for likes I don't know, I don’t pay for premium for any of them so I don’t know who is liking me so I don’t pay attention to the number.

I don’t really use them for hook ups as it doesn’t seem like the safest way and it seems pretty disheartening for people that do, but I don’t know

godfatherfan · Answer

After my divorce I got on the dating apps. My sister married a guy she met on POF. As an IT guy, I thought "perfect. put in all the info and within a couple weeks I get the perfect match, the rest is history". LOL wow was I wrong. I know dating apps are very different for guys vs women. I had success with POF and OK Cupid, a little on Tinder. But some of them were just horrible. I gave up about 6 years ago. I decided to take at least 18 months off and just concentrate on me. Since I never lived on my own, it was an adjustment to do so at 46. That 18 months has turned into 5 years. I went on a few dates and even dated someone for 2 months a couple years ago. But overall, I am happy just living my life. I can do what I want, when I want. Eat what I want, when I want. Watch what I want, when I want. No woman bitching and moaning about every little thing.

Foreignerlove04 · Answer

It’s very easy for me to get dates but I really suck with those apps. I’ve had a bunch of matches on tinder and bumble (let’s say like 100) I’ve just dated 3 guys (the first one ended up being my boyfriend for 6 months, the second one I just ghosted him cause he was really boring, and the third one I think I’m fucking myself up cause I’m about to travel abroad to visit him lol). The main reason why I haven’t dated most of them is because I matched them while I was in their country (traveling) and I was very short of time so I just get concentrated in max 3 conversations from the bunch of matches, I choose the ones that keep answering, don’t pressure me to going out and that aren’t stupid, finally I just choose to date the one with whom I felt most comfy talking to. So yeah I suck with online dating, I just never speak ever again to the rest of matches, some of them follow me on insta so we just interchange story reactions and likes

Slartybartfast · Answer

It was like a job interview during the great depression, the only jobs available were ones no one else wants, there are ten guys for every job opening and I had to pay for the interview.

I must have messaged a dozen women with no response. This was after my divorce when I was already feeling down , online dating is soul crushing. So I gave up on women entirely and got on with my life.

Anonymous · Answer

I have a lot of matches, but I’m quite picky so I have only went on a date once. I have had guys invite me, but they would always pressure me into meeting them, like after 2 days of talking, when I barely know them. It turns me off.

Most men I talk to (in real life and online) are just boring. They either have no personality or I can’t have any interesting conversations with them. I don’t invest all my time in my guy because I don’t want to waste my time for something that doesn’t go anywhere. I talk to many guys at the same time (it can be exhausting tho and sometimes i get mixed with the names and what they tell me, so I have to remember). I like having many options.

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

I've tried dating apps for maybe a week and unjoined by the end. They're predominantly full of people with low to no standards looking for a quick pickup. Digital manwhores, female sluts, etc. Such sites serve less than no purpose, have less value than dirt, for people who have standards/self respect.

Anonymous · Answer

It's really hard to tell because I have set rules for online dating the first of which is I don't message women first. If they want to talk they have to message me. Secondly I don't really do it with the intent of dating. It's more just for the fun of it. Kind of like sport fishing. Catch and release that's all I'm interested in really.
I'm not saying I won't date but a woman really has to show me something. She has to prove her level of interest to get me to change my life for her. And it's been my experience that most women arrogantly think the opposite. I'm sorry but women of today just don't bring much if anything to the table.

Kaamraj · Answer

Vast majority of men have a poor experience on Online dating. This is because most of them are near invisible on social media and dating platforms. There have been studies regarding the swiping patterns of men and women, where it was shown that while men have a more normalized distribution of attraction of women, women on the other hand have a highly skewed preception of attraction, where 80% of women find 80% of the men unattractive and below average.

HonestThoughts · Answer

My experience has been decent I guess. Guys don't get nearly as many matches as women do because most men swipe right on pretty much every girl unless they're like disgustingly ugly lol, but women tend to be much more selective based on value and personal taste.

As long as you take good pics and have a personality and can be interesting then you'll get dates as a guy. You have to separate yourself from the pack. It takes practice though and I used to not get many dates at first. Then I improved my sense of fashion and texting game and things improved from there.

And yes I know what you mean. It seems like there's just so many fish in the sea and it's hard to find Mr./Mrs. right.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

Tried bumble maybe 2 years ago, swiped yes to everyone everyday (I wasn't getting any matches and I thought at least if I match with someone I could talk to them even if we didn't date) got like 2 matches in 5 months, pretty sure they were accidental because they deleted or unmatched after. Totally killed whatever little self esteem I had left lol haven't used any dating apps since

just_a_potato · Answer

For the time I've been online dating it had mostly been for experience and not love searching. But on a couple apps I would get about 5-7 matches a day. A good chunk of guys were nice, the rest seemed alittle... 😅 I only met 3 of the guys I was interested in though.

Lj0011 · Answer

It's very difficult for most men.
Unless you're in that real top looking guys you're not going to match with anyone. I've been on it for a while and no matches. Although it's strange when in Northern Europe and the baltics / Russia i would get matches very easily here in Australia i do not get one match.

Not the best photo but that's what I look like and never get one match. You literally have to be ripped and model material.

Cathy7734 · Answer

When I've created a profile on PlentyofFish or Match. com, I always get a lot of responses. I've only met a few but they weren't good matches. I hate to be shallow but when someone says

they are "normal" weight and they show up being morbidly obese, it's too much.

cth96190 · Answer

If the profile pix looks better than a wildebeest the profile is fake, created by the owners of the site, or scammers in Ghana or Nigeria.
The profiles that are genuine are of women who are obese and have untreated bipolar disorder.
I received about 200 messages per werk from retarded-level IQ scammers in Ghana and Nigeria.
That was my experience with dating sites.

Ram0n83 · Answer

At the moment, I'm planning a marriage to a woman that I met on an online app nearly two-years ago. I'm thrilled.

That being said, it took about four-years to find someone that I clicked equally with (and I spent a year without dating or trying). Plenty of times a woman was interested in me, but I didn't feel the same, or the opposite. I got pretty fed up with it. Finding a real good match is easier said than done.

Anonymous · Answer

I use eHarmony. I've used messages and the icebreakers with a lot of women. I've had a few single message responses or answering the icebreakers but that's it. And 3 who actually spoke to me.

One we talked for a few months but whenever I suggested a date or phonecall nothing. Then she just stopped replying.

Then I spoke to another woman for a few weeks. She broke off the conversation as she wanted to meet someone closer to home.

The last one we talked for a week and she did agree to set up a date. But the she wanted to borrow money. And her responses became very wooden when I said no. So I broke it off and blocked her as I think it was a scam.

Since then I've become very disillusioned with online dating and cancelled my membership. As all it's done is make me feel crap about myself. So I'm just waiting for the prepaid subscription to run out before I remove the app or it's jurr wasted money.

Katebfun · Answer

I gave up online dating apps months ago. When I was off n on them for 3 years I had many, many 1st dates that went nowhere. Now I meet men through meetuo events or friends. I despise online dating. It'd weird like your shopping for a person.

Shiver · Answer

Overwhelming. I already got too many likes and matches, but now that I also opened up my profiles to guys, the attention I get has tripled at least. My Tinder crashes sometimes and Badoo slows down to a crawl. People have to send a message every few hours in the hopes the timing works out so I actually see it. It's pushed me away from the apps tbh. I have more than enough connections to get dates, so it's not a complete disaster, but it is unfortunate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

LostInDespair · Answer

The only matches I got were scambots. Considering that I was actually pretty good at identifying scambots when I was using dating apps, the dating app scambots outsmarted me, but I figured out just in time to protect myself from the scams. Still, it was an excruciatingly heartbreaking realization that I was completely undesirable to attractive women regardless of my efforts to be attractive to them.

genericname85 · Answer

I get like one match a month at best and basically no date invites (i gotta do the inviting or nothing happens). Average for a man, i guess. It's still sort of not that hard to get a date but most of the dates are just one date and then never see them again.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

I was like you.. when I found one that was what I wanted I told the rest I think I have found what I am looking for so I didn't waste their time.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Never been single during the rise of the apps.

Heard it's pretty crazy sometimes but nothing too bad, around here.

I do get approached by women when i'm out of the house and not hiding, so i don't think i would feel the need to set up a resume.

Pj1981 · Answer

I've used them before and I have met people using them but I don't think I will ever bother with them again. There's way too many people spending their entire life on them trying to scam people. I have even had someone try on this site. It's so annoying but I found a way to stop them before they get started.

ToastyOats · Answer

Much easier to get dates in person. Almost everyone that I match with online I would never even consider dating. Extremely overweight, transexual or much older. I continue with it as a curiosity only. In real life I can get numbers from women years younger and in my same shape and intelligence. Pretty sure dating apps are strictly for women to scrounge for big cocks, threeways, and to cheat. Prove me wrong!

Better_off_here · Answer

i have always had a hard time online dating, i have not had much luck meeting anyone online, i was close once but we had planned to meet in person and such but i never heard back from her for some reason. im not sure why. its hard for me since i have a hard time trusting anyone online too.

MCheetah · Answer

1. Self-inflicted depression and misery. 2. Impossible. 3. Zero per year. 4. Men don't have to worry about keeping up with zero matches and zero dates a year.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm:
under 6 feet,
not top earner,
not pretty face,
have 0 to inherit or already inherited.
have to live with my ill parents in my late 30s

So all first stuff women looking for is through the window, how good do you think my chances could be in western world?

zagor · Answer

When I was using a dating site, I would get someone messaging me maybe once every 3-4 weeks. When I sent out messages I would get a response maybe one in fifty times, and 3/4 of those were polite rejections.

Anonymous · Answer

I actually had good luck! Met my boyfriend on OKC 1.5 years ago and we've been inseparable ever since. I fully recognize that I was one of the lucky ones though, and I did comb through a lot of the noise and drama before I met him.

Daisy90 · Answer

I get a few matches but not all of them actually message or reply to messages. Dates don't really happen as the conversation doesn't lead to that or I get ghosted. Not a huge fan of online dating but haven't got many options where I live.

Azaelia · Answer

My case is diff *After texting for a week or a month* Him : hey, I have a confession. I think I like you. Me be like : This is the part when I say I don't want ya 🎶

morgan10133 · Answer

It is not difficult to get dates. It is difficult for me to get follow up dates though. Guys always seem to flake after a few dates when they find out I have sexual issues

JBlade · Answer

Hard to get dates with people I'm actually interested in. If I swiped right on everything it'd be easy.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Pretty difficult honestly.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

I dont use them but a girlfriend of mine used tinder and has had shitty luck then again she's very dominating so I think she scares men away. Now my guy friend is on bumble. He's had luck meeting women but the women he meets aren't mentally stable

rcljr · Answer

Women using 20 year old pictures, still living with ex boyfriend, for “ financial reasons” ( uh huh), stupid elf ear and chipmunk glasses filters on pics. No thanks.

JHNS98 · Answer

The hardest thing is to match with anyone relatively close to you. And then there is the texting, which depends on the girl... And the dating itself depends on how well you got through texting.

Eeeyore18 · Answer

Extremely hard... I've had tinder for over 7 months and Still haven't gotten a date

CantGetItUp · Answer

Difficult. I’ve only had one date in the past 6 months. Most girls come up with an excuse not to meet. I can only assume they have like 100 other guys asking for dates. Honestly I’m getting ready to just give up and live a lonely life.

Flower7 · Answer

Every time I find a guy that I really like on dating sites, I end up getting ghosted.

poneglyphs · Answer

I get matches just that nobody ever responds to me. I get ghosted a lot it's really annoying 😒. After 5 months I been on one date and she ghosted me.

888theGreat · Answer

They suck. It is all looks on the sites. Usually no one matches me because I know exactly what I want or at least what I don't want, which eliminates most people.

Omario2049 · Answer

I quit that shit. Never got a date in the 2 years I was on. For a guy who does so well in the real world, I wasn't gonna allow some stupid apps to mess with my self esteem😎🖕🏾

es20490446e · Answer

In real life I get dates with decent easy. In dating apps quite rarely. In both cases it has been rare finding a partner that is decent.

EmbraceThePain · Answer

I get good amount of matches from Tinder when I still had it

DWornock · Answer

Men greatly outnumber women on dating apps so women may find it more helpful than men. Little harm in trying the apps but it is more productive to meet people in a public place such as a nightclub.

Jonny59 · Answer

first of all... why are you using online dating apps? when you can step outside of your house/flat and just speak to girls IN REAL LIFE? ? why... just why?

Shy_Steve · Answer

I cannot get anything because I don't usually pay for dating apps that much so I cannot contact anyone and the girls I see in my area that i find attractive are not online

Hulk30 · Answer

it's not hard for me at all however to go out on dates to see where things go before sex happens is a waste of energy time and money and is basically unwarranted relationship type treatment without a relationship

humanearth · Answer

Never did it, I do dating the old fashion way. In person... I don't want to date a robot

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If I weren't such a lazy person I could go on a different date about 3 - 5 times a week.

LoveIsFake · Answer

Usually I only match 3 or 5 times but that's within 1 month period but zero dates because they never reply back so in ever dating app I've never actually had a date

Ryfyle · Answer

Practically suicide inducing, but that's online dating for men anyway.

Asianguy123 · Answer

I have been in dating website like 10 years and no respond. I tried gay and transgender website. There were couple of excised bottom men who wants to get fucked by tranny with a huge dick

Babygirl_S · Answer

Too many creeps on such apps looking for casual sex.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never used one. Seems to me like a waste of time

Carmellia79 · Answer

Terrible she turns out to be married which I don’t have problem with I’ve done it before. But fact I didn’t know she married until I showed up for the date.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

DO NOT USE FUCKING DATING APPS THEY ARE SCAMS

How is your online dating experience? How hard is it for you to get dates when you use online dating apps?

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