Are subtle put downs a sign of worse things to come further down the line?

[Anonymous]

I’ve started seeing this guy. I’ve known him just over a month and we’ve been out around five or six times and we’ve slept together a few of those times. I’ve noticed that when I leave his company, I start to feel more negative about myself like there’s something not quite right but I can’t work out what it is. I don’t notice the put downs as he does them quite subtly and it’s difficult to know if he’s joking or not. But I’ve noticed he calls me ‘mad’ and ‘psycho’ a lot, and then I turn it around as a joke and say ‘but a cute psycho right?’ And he says yes, so I feel like I’m always trying to convince myself that he’s just teasing me. On another occasion he’s commented on my hair being everywhere at his place and small things like when I drink cider or beer he will tell me that I will get a bloated belly. It’s really subtle put downs but it’s started to affect my confidence.

is this a sign of worse things to come further down the line?

[dezzman98]

He could be upsetting you unintentionally. You responding jokingly could have made him think you like the type of humor and has made him overly comfortable with using it to the point he's over doing it accidentally. On the other hand, it could lead to something dangerous. It could mean that he is being verbally and emotionally abusive purposely in an attempt to manipulate you into thinking only he will care for you because of all these things make cause you to unintentionally become dependant on him for everything because you think no one else will want you. This can lead to him manipulating more of your life to the point he is the only one you talk to, family is alienated, you are isolated, and never leave his house. You then essentially become his slave because at that point you would have the mind set that no one else will ever want you so you have to do whatever he says out of fear he will leave and you will be alone. It's best to straight out confront him about it, tell him you do not like the comments anymore, and if he continues after that or attempts to spin it to where he is making it seem like you are over reacting or that it's your fault for making him think it's okay, you may want to consider ending the relationship right then and there because that shows he does not respect your feelings and it's only about him.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It could well be. How about trying a small experiment next time you see him.
When he drops a put down line on you, don't counter it or play along. I'm curious as to what he will do.
If he realises he has upset you, he will stop doing it. If however he tries to make light of it and laughs in the hope you will play along, then yes it WILL get worse.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I would be careful with people like that.

He might not mean anything harmful to it. But there is a chance he does this to lower your confidence in a manipulative way.

I would say you should mention it to him. Confront him and see how he reacts to it.

[In_Trance]

You asked this already

[Avicenna]

They can be, yes