Are most guys really this cynical about women and marriage now?

Question

So I was visiting my brother last week and we went out to dinner with a bunch of guys he works with. One of them is going through a divorce so a lot of the discussion was about marriage and women. I was surprised by how cynical and negative they were. And it wasn't just some of them, it was all of them. They were saying marriage has become a really bad deal for men with few benefits and lots of risks for men, and that most women today are not really women anymore and are not worth taking the risks men face in marriage.

I live in a pretty conservative state where guys seem more positive about women and marriage so I'm not used to that attitude. I mean I have seen a lot of guys online who talk like that but I assumed they were just incels. These guys were definitely not the incel type. Most of them work as brokers and make great money, drive nice cars and seemed like reasonably attractive guys.

Is this attitude common among men these days?

DWornock · Accepted Answer

Most men are stupid so most young men are not like that. However, it is not uncommon because a substantial number of older men, especially if they have gone through a divorce, and a few smart young men are aware that marriage is a dictatorship and backed by the state, the woman is a dictator and the man is a slave.

Any agreement prior to marriage regarding custody will be ignored by the courts. Even prenups are likely to be disregarded by the courts. If married, a man has few, if any rights. Like in all dictatorships, the children of the state belong to the state but the state will allow the mothers to have custody. The father is never awarded custody unless the mother agrees. In one North Carolina county, in an 18-month study, the mother was awarded custody in 100% of contested cases.

If a man wants custody of his children, his only option is surrogate mothers. That is what Arthur Liu, an attorney, and father of Alysa Liu did. Alysa Liu an American figure skater is a two-time U. S. national champion. She is the oldest of five children; like her siblings (a sister, Selina, and triplets Joshua, Justin, and Julia), she was conceived through an anonymous egg donor and a surrogate mother.

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Yes because its true. You just have to look at the statistics to realize that its accurate (and the more you have the more you will end up loosing because of the marriage laws and how screwed up women have gotten in this day and age).

As for it being in real life, agian yes but most men are not going to announce it to the world, it usually is only in events such as these or in hushed tones when something happens that warrants that response. I know of plenty of men, one of which was a complete manwhore (so definitley not an incel), who all felt this way. Some men feel it more then others, but I think most guys do feel this is true, even if they don't think its applicable to their marraige.

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I mean, he's currently going through divorce.

He's feeling the worst of it, and that's also bound to make him negative and cynical. And he's got a right to get it all off his chest, too.

Once things have settled, he'll probably settle down and realize some things about how he handled it all, too. I've seen that happen to... Oh, about six of my guy friends.

But for right now, let him have his rant time with the boys. Especially during a wedding.

That's a rough draw and he's doing his best. That looks different on everyone.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it has always been this way in the modern times. Be it movies or anything, a wife is always shown as a burden that restricts the man from doing stuff he likes like checking out other woman, getting drunk with friends and other things. But the thing is men are the ones who always propose marriage. I don't understand why they complain then

exitseven · Answer

Guys do get the shaft during a divorce, especially if there are kids involved. I know two guys that got divorced and they have good jobs. One lived in his car for a couple of weeks before moving back in with his parents and the other lives in a rooming house with another divorced guy. One guy told me that the judge asked the ex wife how much she spent every month and that is what the guy had to pay. Whatever was left over, he could live on that. I don't think anyone goes into a marriage thinking it will fail.

JBlade · Answer

Yes. However, it's not exactly being cynical, rather it's rational since it's true and can be backed up by objective facts and empirical data. Nearly 70% of divorces are initiated, for whatever reason, by women. Both parties hold accountability for a failed marriage but men are more likely to be financially ruined from this as the court inexplicitly favors women. For people who have a lot to lose (like the guys you spoke with), that's a big risk to take for just companionship and sex.

JoVee · Answer

I am half in half out on this one.
Reasons why I am cynical to marriage:
-Divorce rates and what generally happens to men who divorce and having to pay alimony/child support, be less involved with their children due to court rulings (potentially).

I would still get married if I found the right person, I still believe in the symbolism of it but with how people are (myself included) it does not seem to be an option for me. Only problem is, how can you truly know who is the right person until you've live a lifetime with them? Relationship is work, hard work, and will only continue to work if both parties work together on it.

Anonymous · Answer

It's a fact that a man can lose every single thing he's worked hard for, for his entire life at the whim of any woman that he marries, even if she was the one that was in the wrong. This is a fact that more men are coming to realize.

I've also seen men lose their jobs just from an allegation... all of this sort of stuff is observed by other men. Men at jobs used to make fun of me for not hugging the women... they used to call me gay, or afraid of women... until one of the woman accused a man of touching her inappropriately during a hug... the same woman was caught lying in a different case. She didn't know someone else was watching at the time and they came forward as a witness saving the falsely accused.

BCA6010 · Answer

It's definitely a more common sentiment now than it was maybe a decade ago. I understand the argument, and I agree that it's a pretty raw deal when it doesn't work out, but regardless having a lasting marriage and starting a family with it is still a goal of mine.

Avicenna · Answer

Yes, it is, and it isn't without reason, either. There are still plenty of good women out there, but marriage is a bad deal for most men. A long term girlfriend has the benefits but not the drawbacks of marriage.

MCheetah · Answer

It's called the red pill for a reason, buddy. It means you wake up from the fantasy and illusion men have been fed their whole lives.

Redstang88 · Answer

Well yeah, you know enough guys that get cleaned out by vengeful ex’s and it tends to make you pretty wary of the idea

Youdumbeotch · Answer

The further women become classless whores the further men lose interest in finding a marriage partner

Kaneki05 · Answer

Yeah most guys are for good reasons tho.

Slim57 · Answer

Its about 50/50 guys either love marriage or hate it, no in between really

Anonymous · Answer

yeah most guys i know are like that

FilmGuy93 · Answer

There are a lot of guys who feel that way.

Screamsgutter · Answer

Notice how few female comments there are here.

Fuentes · Answer

As they should be

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