Would you use a matchmaking service?

[zagor]

Not a dating site, one where someone actively seeks out people to set you up with.

They seem to run $2,000-$6,000 for their services (!)

[LohrvsData]

Personally, I would never use a matchmaking service. Why not? Because I want to make sure things can become serious between us before I end up wasting that kind of money on a woman. 6 grand is a lot to spend, and not everyone has that kind of money lying around.

Furthermore, just because two people have a lot in common doesn't necessarily guarantee that they're going to hit it off right away, nor does it guarantee that any relationship that comes from such unions will last.

I made that mistake in my college years. Sometimes, variety does spice a relationship up more than you would imagine. :)

[Qdbrown]

These are high-end. Typically for career-grade people who don't have time to seek out a partner...

I thought about it once. They generally don't really serve women, as a real service. The better ones focus on the man. And it makes sense, as the man makes or breaks a relationship potential. He knows what he likes and almost knows the moment he is ready to get married. Women to a dating service is like ladies night to a club.

But here is the kicker. If you don't have time to seek, your chances of maintaining a healthy relationship are not good. The really good dating services know how to vet the man on many levels and can find really good suitable matches that are above finding like personalities and outlooks. They know some secrets that cheat the chance of finding love on accident.

[Ayanna240]

What you’re saying is absolutely true. But your putting things in a nicer way than it really is. The Overwhelming majority types of men who use these services are filthy rich old guys who claim to be looking for the love of their lives , but in reality , they are just looking for a vessel to help themselves find someone 25 years younger to date for a few years before he dumps her for a younger woman. Neither do these guys ever end up marrying these women Nor are they serious about starting a family.

[Ayanna240]

matching making services are usually used by people who cannot find someone in real life and are getting old so it is their last resort. A lot of these people have issues which makes them undatable OR their standards are so unreasonably high they struggle to find anyone over the years, OR they are rich, 55 yr old men who want a wife that has perfect looks, perfect education, perfect career, that is 25 years younger than them. These guys are usually in no rush and are not looking for straight marriage. They usually would date you for a couple of years then leave you for another younger woman.

[Ayanna240]

i've done a lot of research on this.

[Jake99999]

Um, your conclusions and stereotypes are wrong. Wow. So negative. I have personal experience that is the opposite.

You are giving a very jaded / negative view of what it can be. Sure there are a lot of of broken people out there but there are also some very good ones. Lots of them. Real genuine good people who are authentic. Both men and women on these sites.

It seems like you are speaking as someone who had a very bad experience or a few friends who had a very bad experience.

The main reason people use dating services is they don’t have the time to go sit in bars or go to the laundromat or take cooking classes - just hoping the person who is just right for them will fall into their lap. Most single adults have busy jobs, maybe kids…and don’t have time to go stroll around looking for a needle in a haystack.

The services line up people with similar interests and values and who are looking for similar things. When you do accept a date, you have already sort of prequalified the person and they have prequalified you. And if you are smart already talked on the phone. Not everyone is a desperate loser or scammer. Not everyone is rich guy looking foe a trophy wife. Lol. That’s a really jaded perspective that is really not true.

[Ayanna240]

@Jake99999

you have wayy too much of an optimistic view of match making services. Sure there are people who don't have the time to date that use these services. These people do exist but they are the minority.

But nobody is ever gonna spend 3000-10,000 a month to find a romantic partner, unless they have a huge road block in the dating scene. These services are incredibly expensive even for someone who makes 150-200k a year. Nobody is gonna spend such an exorbitant amount of money to find a partner unless they have tried all other dating options.

If you cannot even find time to spend 1 day out of every week or two , to go out for drinks or parties, then you wouldn't have time to date either. Even if the match making service does end up finding someone for you, you wouldn't have time to date.

[Ayanna240]

@Jake99999 match making services gives you dates but no guarantees of any girlfriend or boyfriend and this is often explicitly stated in the agreement. Nobody is gonna spend such an exorbitant sum of money every month just for a couple of matches, potentially no matches too.

A lot of these matchmaking services are only for rich wealthy men to look for young "wives" that they never really intend on marrying. Many of these matching making services are not looking to hook up "average joes" with "average janes". They are merely vessels for rich old men to gain access to women 30 years younger than them. Most of these women who sign up are typically gold diggers. Lets be honest , there is no real reason why any woman would be interested in dating men 20- 30 years older than her. They go on these dates, the woman is impressed by his plane, luxury dinners. He leads her along but it never results in marriage. Once she loses her looks in a couple of years, he will dump her for the next hotter, younger woman through the "match making service"

[Jake99999]

I am talking about online sites like match. com and others. I have zero experience with paying thousands for a "professional" matchmaker consultant. I wouldn't. But I can tell you that your broad generalization is insulting for just about any man or woman who seeks another way to meet someone. Sitting in bars is not a good way to meet someone. There are not parties every week everyone can go to. You can tread a lot of water just sort of wondering around in such things. If you are a college kid its different. If you are older, maybe divorced / single parent, its not the same. Does not make these people losers. And people like this do have time to date, if its a date they feel good about and they will make time to go out with someone that they feel has a decent chance of working out. And if it does work out, you become part of each others lives. Random meeting of drunks in a bar is a much much lower percentage for you to meet someone special that you can truly relate to. A lot of us work 60 hour weeks and have a lot of responsibilities. Sitting in bars constantly doesn't fit in well. It can be a huge waste of time. And you can't / shouldn't date people you work with. Your premise that people are losers if they try another way to meet someone is just ignorant. I met someone amazing through online dating that I would never have met otherwise. we have been together for 5 years. She is the love of my life. I can tell you I am not or was ever a desperate loser. And neither was she.

[Ayanna240]

@Jake99999

Nobody would spend 3000-15k a month on getting a few matches, or potentially no matches. Even someone who makes 150-200k would think this is a good way to spend his hard earned money.
Nobody would use such a ridiculously expensive service unless they have tried everything else but nothing has ever worked out. In other words, they encountered a MAJOR ROAD BLOCK that they cannot seem to get around.

Nobody who is sane would ever spend that much money on dating

[Ayanna240]

Even someone who makes 150k-200k WOULDN'T think this is a good way to spend his hard earned money.

[Ayanna240]

now I am not saying that ALL people who use these professional match making services are losers. But typically only a loser or someone with problems would have such a hard time finding a date that they would need to fork out half their bank accounts to find matches, right?

[Jake99999]

I make well over 200k a year, after taxes and everything else its not as much money as you think... But I would never spend that kind of money for a dating consultant. However I didn't mind a few bucks for some online sites. I had fun with it and met some very cool people. No one knew how much I made, I have a lot more to offer than money. I think paying thousands to a "consultant" to do basically the same things the online sites do, is kind of a joke. I am with you on that.

I was in my 50's, we are both in our 50's, I was not looking for someone 20-30 years younger than me... lol. How can you even relate to such a person? There are a lot more real/authentic people out there than you think. You are never too old. You will find that out later. When you get older and your career is really going and you have a lot of responsibilities, you need to get creative on how to meet someone.

But - I think you shouldn't judge and stereotype and assume the worst about every aspect of it. That is what I think.

[Ayanna240]

@Jake99999 you've never even used a professional match making service. you've never even paid for one. There is a good chance you've never even done your "due diligence" on the topic. so how are you an expert over me?

[Babygirl_S]

Umm it's also used by the ones looking for an arranged marriage.

[Ayanna240]

@Babygirl_S nobody does arraigned marriages in western culture. Match makers in other countries are cheap, and used by pretty much everyone for arraigned marriages. I wasn't referring to those match makers.

[zagor]

10000 a month isn't much if you made $200 million selling your startup.

[Ayanna240]

@zagor
you're way too in over your head.

It costs wayy more than 1000 a month.

that is the big question: who would spend 3k-15k a month just to get a few matches?

[zagor]

Not me. I was just asking the question. I think OKCupid is a screw job for $30 a month.

[Ayanna240]

@zagor

I can imagine someone spend 30 a month but you must be desperate af to spend 3000 a month

[zagor]

Or
1) you can afford it
and
2) you sincerely want to find the right person and don't have time or opportunity in your personal life to meet suitable people.

Personally I can't imagine someone picking a match for me.

[zagor]

Years ago my parents suggested a couple girls for me to ask out, and it was like, WTF, don't you know me at all?

[Ayanna240]

@zagor

Even if someone made 150-200k a year , they wouldn’t spend 3000-15,000 a month just to get a few matches or potentially no matches

If you don’t even have one day out of a week to find a date , you certainly Wouldn’t have time for a girlfriend

[zagor]

Where would you go to find a date? You work all week, and if you're a guy, chances are your hobbies are such that most of the people you meet are guys too. Bars are for hookups and drinking, not meeting someone for a serious relationship.

[Ayanna240]

@zagor

Everyone works 40-50 hours a week. Overtime is very common. So how can everyone else get married while you can’t?

[Ayanna240]

@zagor

Nobody would spend that enormous amount of money unless they have tried all other options and none have ever worked out. Nobody would pick processional matchmaking as a first option

[menina]

Not really. I would be afraid of being deceived and it would be too expensive.

[Jake99999]

Nah. Use online dating. It can work really well. And way cheaper. Just have an attitude that it’s an adventure and have fun with it. Spending thousands for people from the same pool of possibles where there are literally thousands of candidates for you. Have you tried online dating sites? You should give that a shot first before spending thousands. They people who will charge you all that money are doing the same thing the apps are doing. With fewer resources.


Google and do some research so you find an online thing that most closely aligns with what you are looking for.

[DWornock]

Not after watching the following video:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/H6ONHDmDD8s

That is because the women that I would be matched up with and that also pay for the service have unrealistic standards. They think that since they are paying they should be matched up with a guy that looks like a movie star.

Another reason is because I know the services are more interested in what is best for them; not what is best for me. That is they want the money with the least time and effort possible.

[Anonymous]

In my country / culture, they're quite common as we have arrange marriage culture. I think they're also common in other Asian cultures. If you're thinking of starting a business you should try to cater specially to Asians, Indians and Arabs if they've a large presence where you live.

It's very difficult to meet girls after college where I live. So I'm thinking if I don't find anyone by the time I'm 30 I'll surely use such a service.

[zagor]

I hope they're cheaper there.

[Opinion Owner]

Not if you take into account the per capita income and exchange rate.

[JoVee]

Yeah I would be down for that, see what kind of people I could meet and scare away. Hell yeah sign me up. Oh wait I gotta pay? 2k-6k F that noise. It would be worth it to find love but nah bro...

definitely would need to depend on their reputation and how good they are...

[15_Debo]

never
I think I am good enough to find the true guy
no need for other's help

[Dantenera]

That's right.
Your value and personality matters

[midnightmoon05]

Good job for a 13 yr. old!

[loen45]

Really

[15_Debo]

@midnightmoon05 what do you mean as good job?

[midnightmoon05]

Good job for having confidence.

[15_Debo]

@midnightmoon05 when that is something I always have even when lying😎

[15_Debo]

*well

[midnightmoon05]

When lying 🤥! Hahahaa!!! Born natural lair? It would be a good youtibe course for a lot of people who lock confidence.

[15_Debo]

@midnightmoon05 thanks

[DonkeyDan]

Nah, surprised with the advent of tinder and the like that they are still in business. Always used to see ads for them in the back of mags and papers when I was young.

[ChrisMaster69]

Nope not at all.

I’ve managed rather well over the years.

they are going to match some bollox and you end up with someone a computer says matches.

I can do that shit myself

[Avicenna]

I think there might be some circumstances in which it'd be warranted, specifically, if you're looking to get married to a specific type of person you can't meet on your own.

[jspl90]

hmm well sure if there is guarantee that they match me with someone that I would be contend with and actually start a relationship or money back then why not

[Adam1978]

Only if they only could charge for a finders fee of a successful relationship. And not milking me while being single.

[UnknownGagsUser]

That’s very expensive for the service and I don’t think anyone would need them unless they really can not find a partner

[OddBeMe]

Sounds like a waste when all that’s needed is to keep meeting new people. If you have the money to hire someone to do that for you, godbless. I use Instacart when I don’t want to deal with grocery store people. (You know who I’m talking about)

[Xylem1992]

oh fuck no. For the same reason I don't use outside help to shop. I know who I am and I know what I want. I go get it. If it happens good. If not, tough break. what can you do. That's it.

[payne000001]

I don't like the others party to set me up, respectfully. Coz if I want someone to love I will work for it no matter how hard it is. I would prefer to fall a hundred times and get dumped hundred times until I make myself with for the "one"

[exitseven]

Nope. I know two guys that went that route. Total rip off and it wasn't cheap.

[TacosRAwesome]

I would as a free tester but not if I have to pay for it.

[Iron_Man]

That’s too much money and basically they’re just doing it on the Internet not not meeting real people in real life

[Better_off_here]

i would if i had the money, i am not too into date sites and have not had much luck with them so i would seriously think about it. they may know more than i do.

[MyNameJames]

Unless they have a success rate higher than 80% it would in my mind be a waste of money.

[Enochian]

If you pay for a date you are an idiot. Rather stay single.

[Jamie05rhs]

Absolutely not. Because no one knows me as well as I do!

[AmeerX]

Wow 😳, in my country they are dirt cheap at 1/50 the the cost.

[livingnightmare]

pssh i rather pay a prostitute. they only charge 150-200

[Anonymous]

Absolutely, I'm a busy guy
If I had the means I would ready so give it a few more years then maybe I will get round to it

[Ryfyle]

@zagor Why yes, I would love to put a hit out for myself.

[Anonymous]

If I had the money to spare and they had a good success rate. I'd also really want some guarantee that there would be some dates or something so it's not just paying them and then doing fuck all.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

No, I'm not retarded.

[Cherry234]

Nope I wouldn't. I don't have that type of money

[Astarlessnightsky]

No. I am not paying a fortune to get rejected.

[Neosporin]

I’d use a dating coach

[RasberrySlushPuppy]

ha crazy, that's one way to lose a load of money

[FinalFantasyBro]

I definitely wouldn't use a matchmaking service.

[Wise4myage]

No, I've heard they are a real ripoff.

[Charliefretz329]

Yep, I did and it worked great

[TinamichelleG]

Umm yes? Lol yes i would i suppose

[Rawkman]

No, I'd use a friend matchmaker service lol

[SphynxUK]

Certainly not.

[EmbraceThePain]

Nope

[Babygirl_S]

Yes.

[msc545]

No, of course not

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Sounds kinda lame….

[Fuentes]

Nah i would not

[Anonymous]

no..