Depends on the flake and whether she gave a counter offer with a day she would be available, because that at least shows interest and truly feeling bad about the cancellation. Usually women will always make time for the men they like or are interested in. It may not happen the same day if she really can't make it, but she will put the effort in and reciprocate.
If she cancels the day of, not only is it disrespectful, but it shows lack of consideration and interest on her end. Women don't like being direct since they don't want to hurt tour feelings or come off as a bitch. So they play delay, wish washy, and excuse game as an indirect way to say, "motherfucker, I don't like you. Take the hint and go away!" It sucks, but honestly I wish women were more direct. That game is just cruel and doesn't help either gender and only furthers the divide and anger directed at dating in general. Just be upfront for Christ's sake.
Now if she went on a few dates with you like you said, she had interest in you to go on those dates. If this is the first time she flaked, wait about a week, invite her out on a date one last time. If she gives you a wishy washy answer, take that as her not being interested, tell her to give you a call when she figures out her schedule and leave it at that. Don't call her, don't text her, don't try to go find her. Just let her go and wait for her to initiate contact with you again. In the meantime, date other women who will treat you better and have the qualities you look for. Not worth the energy getting hung up on one woman that treats you as second best or the equivalent of dog shit with no respect.
It's possible she is busy, but like I said, the lack of counter offer is telling in my eyes. She may have lost interest during your dates or what you may have said in between them, she may have another guy she is more interested in which sucks, but it happens. Let it go and have no expectations from her and it will put your mind at ease. I would treat it as not expecting her to reach out at this point. If she does, cool, if not, her loss.
None of those above. I don't know if it's the "best action", but my action would be to let it go. If she's not interested, I'm not interested. I have no need to try and convince someone that I'm interesting.
Whatever she's got going on, she's made the decision that you're not a priority, so why would you prioritize her?
This is just one perspective, though. There are lots of different types of relationships and some men and women prefer the type where the woman is treated like a reluctant participant who must be convinced. For me, in this current cultural trend that is about mutual respect and equality, I prefer to support the idea that women have a choice and a voice, not just being objects that men choose without regard for the woman's preference. To pursue a woman who is not interested becomes an infringement on her boundaries and freedom.
It's her turn to initiate.
You deserve a woman who will take the time to reciprocate at least.
Just plan another date. I’d be more concerned if she flaked/canceled more than once.
She flaked and said she wasn’t sure when she’d next be able to meet up as she’s really busy at the moment.
Ohhh, well that makes it a bit tricky because on one hand she could just be trying to play it safe and not make another plan because she doesn’t wanna flake again, and I respect that. On the other hand, she could be uninterested and that’s her trying to tell you. If I were you, I would just tell her to let me know if she’d like another date so you can plan it. Then the ball is in her court. If she doesn’t plan a date then you know she doesn’t want another.
So I was thinking either doing that or just asking her if she’s interested in another date when she’s a bit freer? But not sure which is best.
I’m leaning towards asking her. As I prefer to be direct than play games.
Well that’s the thing too, you don’t wanna be on standby waiting for her to be freer because who knows when that will be or if it will happen. That’s why I think a light response like “well just let me know if you’d like another date once you’re free”, that’s putting the ball in her court, rather than specifically asking if she would like to because you don’t want to get disappointed by her again if you can avoid it.
It’s been 2 weeks so I could just say “hey, hope you’re well. Just wanted to add that I enjoyed he first 2 dates with you and am open to meeting up again when you’re freer if you’d like to. It would be good to see you again. x”
A week and a half I think.
After she flaked I said “No worries, thanks for letting me know. Hope you find what you’re looking for in the end x”
Hmm, so your last talk was her cancellation, then you haven’t heard from her in all this time? Not to discourage you and I hope you don’t take this wrong, but I feel like those actions speak volumes as to where her head is at. If she’s very busy, she just may not have time to date. Maybe she was thinking she would in the beginning, hence the two dates, but ultimately romance may not fit her schedule. I get the impression that you like her a lot, but it’s still soon, soon enough to walk away rather than investing more time waiting. If your mind is set on trying to arrange another date, then sure, send the text and what you said is not bad. I’m just saying don’t be oblivious to the writing on the wall simply because you have a crush. Too many fish in the sea for that.
I don’t have many options.
Dating apps are rubbish for me. I don’t get any matches at all.
Never happens by chance for me either. But I want a long term partner though. Yes I know there’s no point going after someone who doesn’t reciprocate feelings but I feel like I’m being forced to be single
If you’re not interested in trying any of these then that’s ok, but my overall point is that there are opportunities to meet someone, if you really wanted to. If you haven’t found your person, but you want a relationship, then you’ve got to be more optimistic about the process. I know at this age things can start to feel bleak, especially seeing your friends in relationships but you’re not. But it just may not be your time yet. Like maybe this is a sign that you’ve still got work to do on yourself before welcoming a long term relationship..
I’ve spent years working on myself.
It’s not but I have unfortunately tried everything you’ve suggested and I just get rejected
Got it. Well hopefully you end up connecting with the right person. Unfortunately I don’t think this other woman is worth pursuing since she keeps cancelling with no effort to make a new plan, it gives the impression that she isn’t interested. But there are plenty of other women out there so don’t lose hope..
Yes I understand that. And unfortunately this is just what always happens to me. In my lifetime, I’ve been rejected by around 100 women. I’ve never kissed a woman in my life, never held a woman’s hand. It’s like I am denied intimacy with females by nature.
I know that no one is entitled to intimacy or a relationship but it is depressing that I’m 30 and have never kissed a woman.
Opinion
21Opinion
Option D: Absolutely nothing. One does not, and should not beg a woman to be in is presence. If a girl wants to flake... her loss...
Concerning:
''said she wasn’t sure when she’d next be able to meet up''
Then the ball is in her court.
''just asking her if she’s interested in another date''
Ask yourself this question. If you know your value, would you ask another if they were interested in another date?
Would a King ask you if you were interested in spending time in his quarters?
I would be thinking about conversations we had in the hours leading up to the date, had she mentioned something that may have been a reason etc.
I would then text her or call about 30 mins in to the agreed time to see if she’s okay, had she missed bus, stuck in traffic, basically was she okay.
A guy I know (family friend) was sitting in pub waiting for his girlfriend / date, the reason was as she was crossing a road to the pub (about 100 yds away) some guys bundled her in a car, drove off and raped her.
obviously rare ish occurrence, however it’s always good to make sure everything is okay.
the amount of people that don’t check the other got back oksy…
Neither of these are the best action in my opinion.
This wasn't with someone I had seen before. It was with a first date: She didn't show. I ordered a meal and enjoyed it on my own before heading home.
I did not reach out to ask what happened. And why should I? It is on the person who flaked to call and apologize (and reschedule), not you. I think you ought to wait for her to contact you. She is the one who disrespected you and wouldn't even give you notice or apologize after. If there as/is an emergency that made her flake, it is still on her to call and explain.
was* (my "w" key is messed up, sorry)
"It looks like your schedule is pretty busy now. Let me know when things clear up for you in the future"
Then I go no contact and I date other women. The ball is in her court. I just get on with life. If her schedule does clear up and she wants me in her life she can contact me. If not we'll never see each other again and I'll be dating other women.
She flaked so the offense was hers. She should contact you, explain and apologize. Then you can try another date. If she doesn't contact you she blew you off so she is not interested or not interested beyond a free meal and entertainment. Be glad you didn't waste the money you would have spent on her and find someone worthy
Do the casual chat thing, play it cool and plan another date. Do not buy tickets for said new date lol. If she flakes again send her a message like: hey, if you're not into me just let me know, I'm a big boy... if you have stuff going on do want to talk about it? Contact me when you are ready to chat more... then wait and see... be ready to move on
None of the above. Start looking for someone else and don't contact her. If she is still interested, she knows what she did. and she will get the message that she can walk all over you and will contact you. Otherwise, accept the fact that she lost interest and don't waste your time pining over her.
I think you should just reschedule. If she is interested in you then she’ll want to go on a date with you. Just make sure you aren’t too pushy and if she flakes again then maybe don’t contact her until she contacts you first ☺️.
She sent a message saying “ Hey, sorry for the late reply! Things have gotten really busy at work and had some other stuff going on. I'm sorry I don't think I can make Thursday any more. I'm going away this weekend on the boat trip so not sure when I would be able to meet up. Really bad timing at the moment! Sorry to mess you around x”
One and three are just awful. No--never do that. A few questions:
1) how many dates have you been on together previously?
2) how far did you progress physically in those dates?
3) when she cancelled, did she counter-offer another day?
The answers will inform your best next move.
The answer is NO ACTION my friend... because she's ghosting you!
Did she tell you something like: “I have to cancel, but let’s go out on this day and time instead?” If not drop her and don’t look back.
None of the above.
Do not contact her again.
Block her number.
Give her the wall of silence.
Move on, there is no reason apart from an immediate emergency to not appear for a planned date. You both are adults and need to hold her accountable.
No she told me beforehand and apologised.
Shall I say “ Hey, hope you’re well. :) I just wanted to see if you’d be interested in meeting up again when your schedule is a bit freer? It would be good to see you again. x ”
There is another course of action besides the three offered - Do Nothing - do not call or text, and IF she calls or texts you reply with 'Oh, I thought you were not interested any more' then tell her to plan the next date.
Ah one of those? Fuck it I'm getting hammered with the boys.
People don't just disappear on people they really like. If she comes back around, it's on her to reschedule. If she doesn't, move on
Ask if she's ok? Bit weird to disappear without any notice after a few dates have already happened.
Things like this happen. I find them frustrating, but you have to push on. Set up another date.
I would give her the benefit of the doubt. If it keeps on happening, sayonara.
Text her bye bitch and block. Don't need people who don't respect your time.
She is not interested in you and she has found someone else. Move on, my friend.
You are being ghosted, move on. There's more sex ahead of you than behind.
Depends why she flaked
Move on, she is shit testing you.
Where is “put her on ice”?
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