Guy cancels date an hour and a half before the time we are supposed to meet?

[Anonymous]

We met on a dating app. Set up a date for next Saturday (which is today) during the time of texting, we didn't text that much. We would probably send 4 text messages a day. Because we were both replying back every few hours. I wasn't playing games but I'm not sure if he was. Through text, our conversations were so boring and stale. But I wanted to give his in person personality a chance since not everyone is a good texter. I always doubted him (like a gut instinct that somethings not right) and I thought about canceling a bunch of times but I thought to give him a chance anyway, forcing myself. Also he was a firefighter so that had a huge factor in wanting to meet him. Well he canceled at 8:30. Our date was at 10:00. I thankfully checked my phone before i left. I was already dressed and about to leave at 9:48. I was disappponted, I've never had a guy cancel on me before so it was a weird feeling. He said he's sick and he's been feeling sick for a few days but didn't want to say anything until now and he doesn't want to get me sick. He said he's sorry. He said sorry twice and that he wants to reschedule. I was mature about it. I said thanks for letting me know. But I don't plan on seeing him for a reschedule. I told my mom about it and she's said I should reschedule and give a second chance. I don't want to though. It's an obvious copout unless he's actually sick but I'm already done, I did have that gut instinct I should have listened to. But my mom says I would be an idiot not to give him a second chance and she's making me feel bad. What are your thoughts?

[spartan55]

He said he wanted to reschedule, then he didn't reschedule. Fuck that.

[In_Trance]

He got a better offer

[Asker]

Like he found a girl that interested him more?

[In_Trance]

Correct

[Asker]

He texted me an hour ago asking if I want to go hiking with him. I don't understand why he's still messaging me. He cancelled a date last minute, why doesn't he just leave me alone

[In_Trance]

Back up plan. He keeps you at arms length just in case

[Asker]

I had a feeling. Thanks for your time and advice. I'm not one to ghost but this situation calls for it

[In_Trance]

I wish you the best

[spartan55]

@asker why don't you just tell him why you won't be going out with him?

[Asker]

@spartan55 I don't want to give him the satisfaction

[spartan55]

@asker
Real mature. It has nothing to do with that. It's holding him accountable. But, running away is easier I suppose.

[Asker]

@spartan55 what do you think I should say?

[spartan55]

I'd be pretty angry if I were you, because he is treating you like you're stupid. Three things: He cancels last minute using a bullshit excuse; tells you he is going to reschedule, then doesn't; then acts like nothing happened and asks you out again.
I'd call him and tell him to stop contacting you, tell him he is an arrogant douchebag to think you would still be interested. Something like that. Personally, I couldn't let it go without letting him know what a shitbag he is.

[Asker]

@spartan55 ok I'll send that to him. Thank you for the advice/example text on what to say. But what if he laughs at me for hurting my ego? Like he tries to make fun of me and like tries to insult me more. He could take that route.

[spartan55]

Then let him. It would just be a low level defense mechanism. He knows what he did was shitty.

[Asker]

@spartan55 I just remembered that I already deleted his phone # and messages. I don't know his number by heart so unless he decides to text me again, i won't be able to message him. Unless maybe I can recover the number somehow. 😔

[spartan55]

I wouldn't go THAT far out of your way.. Lol. Just know it likely had very little to do with you.

[jennifer_bloom]

Follow your gut, you can tell something is off about him and a guy who respects you would never cancel last minute and you already said you do not like his personality.

[MTC29]

These things do happen, but you only get one chance to make a first impression. If he hasn't rescheduled, that saying a lot. Also, firefighters, like police officers, work a LOT of overtime. Even if they are healthy you cannot totally depend on them being anywhere at a specific time.