I'm about to get married but I found a message that my boyfriend sent to another girl that he wishes he had her what should I do?

[Anonymous]

[Miristheiss]

He wishes he could have her sexually?
He sent this to her while you were an exclusive couple?
He didn't send this before you started dating or during your first few weeks of dating?

If the answer is yes to the first 2 questions I asked then I'd say this is a clear sign that he's going to betray you (he kind of already has) and he'll cheat, you'll have a miserable marriage and it would ultimately fail.
Even though it hurts now is your chance to dodge this bullet and end things and dump him.

[Asker]

I dunno it could be more than just sex aswell

[Anonymous]

People so often ignore warning signs such as these, and then they regret it. You are extremely lucky, one could even say a guardian angel was looking out for you. Marry this man at your own peril. You will regret it!

You asked why he's marrying you. The answer to that is simple. People settle when they can't get their first choice.

In fact, I remember this woman that was chasing me. I was not interested. After she gave up it transpired that she already had a boyfriend for the entire time. Now she is married to a different guy altogether. That guy has no idea the mistake he's made! Do not make the same one!

[BlueberryMoore]

Could be several reasons why a boy wants to marry a girl even if he texts that to someone else:
- he can't get his crush so he proposes to another girl to move on
- he's just having cold feet before wedding and would just like to see the response from girls he flirts with (but he loves you)
- he wants to have sex with this girl before being fully committed to you
- he wants to feel more wanted.

Either way, talk to him. But before that, you need to decide whether any of the reasons is even acceptable for you.

[Asker]

Looked like he obessed over her social media page before our engagement and they started sexting/talking after the engagement for months until I caught him

[BlueberryMoore]

Oh gosh... Sorry to hear that.

Keep us updated here with what you decide then!

[btbc92]

Asker, multiple people here already told you what you needed to know. You see he is cheating on you and you need to confront the cheater which is him. You let everybody know the wedding is off, that he is secretly cheating on you with his ex by saying he wants her over you. You will not be played or toyed with. You deserve to have a future with a man who truly loves you and not use you as a rebound nor for marital status. And any woman who married him after dating you, is being foolish to do so.

[Asker]

Its someone from his old highschool not his ex at all

[btbc92]

It doesn't matter. You want to be treated that way, that's on you. I wouldn't have tolerated that and that was inappropriate.

[Interstate]

I would break it off. Otherwise, you are looking at a miserable Marriage with a Guy who can't decide what he wants. But also, you stand the chance of being walked out on, anyway. Tell him it isn't working since he decided he wants to switch team members. You will be hung out to dry, and divorce nowadays is expensive, cutthroat and a lot of people have been known to spend years in financial hardship afterwards. But as I said, break it off and move on with life!

[Asker]

Seems like it's not going to last so why did he want to marry me then

[Interstate]

You hadn't mentioned in your heading that he proposed, or implied he wanted to Marry you one day. But being that you hadn't mentioned it, lets go with "he didn't". I would definitely approach him and ask him what is up with this message. Tell him he has a choice to make; He either has You or Her. But considering circumstances, at this point you are both basically "OPTIONS"; You want a guy who will PRIORITIZE you. But honestly Anonymous, with that being said, I would permanently step out of the picture. But before you do, I would still confront him and ask him what is up with the other Woman, along with how long it has been going on.

[Asker]

Yes he proposed to me last year but a few weeks after it he starting talking to that girl

[Interstate]

Yeah I would personally pack my bags, walk out and move on with life. You can do better.

[Asker]

He also tried to get her attention for months before he proposed to me

[Interstate]

He is definitely a FIRST CLASS Douche Canoe!!

[Asker]

Maybe he's sticking around because he couldnt get anyone else other than me

[Interstate]

I would have to say you were definitely treated as an Option rather than a priority. I'm sorry to say.

[Daniela1982]

Cancel the wedding unless you want to be always wondering if he is seeing someone else in addition to you. I mean if he wants her so bad let her have him and miss the bullet. Cancel now before you get married or it will wind up a divorce later on.

[PrettyPriya]

You need to have a VERY serious sit down with him. That is not acceptable in the least.

[Asker]

Maybe he's not happy with me

[PrettyPriya]

Well, I would certainly hate to think this as you are to be married. But you must confront him about this. If you do not, it will haunt you and your marriage I’m sorry to say.

[Asker]

Why is he saying this with another girl

[PrettyPriya]

Very difficult to pin it on one thing. All I can do is guess. It is more important that you ask him that.

I truly hope there is an explanation from him that brings peace to your mind.

[Asker]

Why did he ask to marry me then

[PrettyPriya]

I have no clue as he is someone that doesn’t seem loyal. Marriage would be the last thing you would think he wants.

[Anonymous]

It could be to create drama but I know this one girl that did this and she did it because he moved on from her. truth be told she wanted what the girl had but then again it could just be for drama purposes. Did you ask him?

[Asker]

Seems like he was really into her tho

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Ask him what the message is all about or break up with him he's clearly not the man you thought he was!

[Anonymous]

Stop blowing up your life with melodrama over something which almost certainly means nothing beyond him viewing you as a serious life long commitment.

Honestly you fucking people, you get far too excited.

[ohshee]

And when was this message sent to this girl was it in the last past couple weeks

[Asker]

he's said it a few times it seems since last octover

[exitseven]

I would confront him with this. If you don't this will come back after you are married.

[Asker]

Why would he ask me to get married then?

[exitseven]

you have to ask him that.

[Coulis]

Not compawith her fully but loves her. If you can accept that you may not be #1 in his heart but he wants to doife with you then confront him and make a choice.

[Coulis]

*compatible.

[Coulis]

Do life

[Hangry06]

Call off the marriage that is if you prioritize faithfulness. Otherwise congrats💐

[Asker]

Do you think he will keep cheating

[Hangry06]

I think yes

[jillybeanns]

@asker yes I think he will. Don’t do it.

[Wise4myage]

Confront him with the message, or he will likely deny it.

[Asker]

Why did he ask to marry me then

[Wise4myage]

He might be a serial cheater and thought he would never get caught.

[Asker]

Seems like he's mad for the other girl

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, thats not good. And you need ton get this resolved before you get married.

[Asker]

He proposed to me last year in October I noticed he was trying to get this girls attention for months before the proposal. Looks like she started talking to him after the engagment

[Waldoe]

How Old was the message... if its recent, break off the engagement, until he knows what he wants, maybe by that time you will have found an honest man.

[hanony]

Agreed!

[Nazgol]

Wow, tough position to be in, sorry. Either discuss it with hik or cancel the wedding. You decide what you think it's best for you, good luck!

[Asker]

Is he unhappy

[Nazgol]

Looks like it, about something 🤷‍♀️

[Nazgol]

*him

[es20490446e]

Marry, just someone else.

[Asker]

Is he unhappy?

[es20490446e]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6PAUs-aUG0

[Jamie05rhs]

How "about" to? A year? A few months? 1 month? One week? Tomorrow?

[Asker]

Not married until next march

[Jamie05rhs]

When was the proposal?

[Asker]

Last October

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Hmm. Sounds like he's having second thoughts. You should have a talk with him. Grill him hard and find out his true feelings. Find out if he really wants to marry you or not! It's better that you find out now than later.

[Anonymous]

Damn I'm sorry you're going through this. I'd definitely break up or this will come back when you're already married.😪

[Asker]

Damn he's into someone else

[Opinion Owner]

How are u feeling

[writestrong]

Do not. I just, would not even go down that road with him you will end up hurt

[Booboo210]

Don't get married

[Asker]

Is he unhappy with me then?

[boggboss]

Confront her about it

[boggboss]

I mean him confront him

[Heytherelyla]

Dump him.
Don't. Lose. Time. With. A. Loser.

[SnakeBoop]

Well. what do YOU think you should do?

[msc545]

Dump him. DO NOT marry him!

[Asker]

Is he unhappy

[msc545]

no idea. but you will be if you marry him

[dudeinohio]

terminate the relationship

[Asker]

Why on earth did he marry me then

[dudeinohio]

don't know.

[Coulis]

You're already married? I thought he just proposed.

[Asker]

@Coulis no I'm still engaged I'm getting married next year

[girlygirl2034]

Delete him from your life

[888theGreat]

Marriage with him will be doomed.

[gag2021]

Better to find out sooner than later!

[Sampan2017]

Talk to him it's good if he comes out from past

[Asker]

Is he unhappy

[Sampan2017]

Can't say first you talk to him

[Not_Average]

Call it off

[Asker]

Why did he propose

[vald9inches]

Give him his wish

[Asker]

Is he unhappy

[vald9inches]

I don't know maybe he wants both of you lol

[Pterodon]

Breakup

[Asker]

Maybe he's putting on this front with me this whole time

[Pterodon]

Gee ya think?

[Asker]

Why did he ask to marry me

[Pterodon]

To keep you around to use

[scott04sa22]

Yikes!!

[SmokinAces2000]

Go on Maury 😂

[Jmmmfi4]

Don't marry him

[Asker]

Is he unhappy

[Jmmmfi4]

he's not ready to commit to one person

[Asker]

I must not be enough

[Jmmmfi4]

Its him not you

[Coulis]

WRRROOOONG. You have some self worth issies to sort out. Don't know if marrige is for you right now in general. This may be a blessing in disguise.