Went on our first - he took me out, paid, drove to me but?

[Priv9696]

When went back to his car we started kissing and then he grabbed by boobs and was all over me

is he just after one thing or was he just being a typical excited guy?

It was lovely of him to travel down to see me and take me to dinner, we were holding hands, laughing.. it was great

but he did seem quite sexual towards me and he wants to see me again for lunch tomorrow

how can I make sure he does not use me?

We’re both 24, met on dating app a couple weeks ago, live an hour away

Updates

+1 y

He’s now asking me to go to his house tomorrow so we can cuddle and kiss. (2nd date) he was like “let’s go to mine and then out for lunch” is it wrong that he wants sex on 2nd date or normal?

[talover]

If this is a dating app guy, he's showing you his hand (card metaphor). He's clearly going for you for one thing - sex. Based on the fact that you are asking GAG for an opinion on this matter, indicates to me that this isn't necessarily what you're looking for at this stage in the relationship. You need to communicate that ASAP. You need to have the DTR talk now. But before you have that talk with him, have it with yourself first. Why are you on that dating app? What's your objective? One night stands? Finding someone to date indefinitely? Or is it to find your future husband or S. O?

Here is a short video about one way to view dating.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/WPA0PXs7gvk

[Priv9696]

It’s clearly something I’m doing wrong because how comes he’s other girlfriends in the past? I’m clearly not girlfriend material

[TheBigGuy9]

I’ve made out with a woman and grabbed/sucked on her boobs and that’s it. He’s probably just having fun.

[TheBigGuy9]

You ask if it’s wrong he wants sex on second date: That depends on a lot of things. More than likely you will just have to take a chance. Me personally I don’t like longer distance relationships, even just one hour. It’s very easy to have a girlfriend and a side woman.

[Priv9696]

Ohh so you would only really date a girl within 30mins max? Yeah 1 hour is quite long for me cause I’d only see him on weekends

[TheBigGuy9]

I had a guy friend that dated a girl 1 hour away in high school, but he went over just about every night. He was committed.
I’d say if you can only spend weekends with him, I’d move on.
Being together just about every night gets you more pillow talk. More pillow talk, better communication.
Plus, I know if you’re having a bad day, I’d do something like bring you lunch at work or cook food for you later, give you a massage. Or those spontaneous times where you can do whatever! You get to see more of a person in different situations the more you hangout. You can just meet and go for ice cream one night. Or go to a secluded spot overlooking the beach and water and watch a movie on my IPad Pro.

If it’s just one hangout time for a couple days, it can get tiring because you feel like you have to entertain them constantly.

[Priv9696]

Maybe I dodged a bullet then because I’d personally wanna see my man on week days AND weekends

[Anonymous]

Sounds too aggressive for a first date. For me, that would have been a turn off and I probably would not have agreed to see the guy again. But if you like him and want to pursue it, go to lunch with him tomorrow and just keep the pawing hands at bay. You can even straight up tell him that you're really attracted to him but you're looking for more than just a hookup and want to get to know each other better before sex. If he stops contacting you, you'll have your answer.

[Priv9696]

I hate this society we’re in. What happen to the days where guys would wait until an exclusive relationship to have sex? Ugh

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. It's very frustrating and depressing, but all you can do is stick to your guns and don't have sex with him (or any other guy) until you're ready and until you feel secure/safe/like you can trust him.

[Priv9696]

I just updated the question. Check it out and let me know what you think

[Opinion Owner]

I wouldn't go to his house on the second date. Tell him you're more comfortable meeting at the restaurant.

[Priv9696]

He said he hasn’t got much money for a date due to shortage of work (he’s self employed)

[Opinion Owner]

Lol sounds like a lame excuse. He invited you for lunch. Unless he was planning to make you a sandwich at his house, you both would've needed to order food anyway. Whether you eat that out in public or in his house makes no difference money-wise. Offer to go somewhere inexpensive.

[Opinion Owner]

Actually, scratch all that. This guy seems like he's just trying to get in your pants. I don't think it's worth the time and energy on your part if that's not what you're looking for. He seems like he's willing to try any angle to get you to have sex with him. A guy who is interested in something real wouldn't be pushing so hard for you to "come over and cuddle".

[Priv9696]

He said “come to mine for cuddles and then we can go out for lunch?” Snd I was thinking why not just go out to lunch? Then it clicked … he just wanted to get his dick wet. And I met him online, I have no luck with them it seems. Also when I told him I was done with it he said “I spent money on petrol to see you” “washed my time and money” lol.,. As if he’s gonna make me feel bad about that?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, drop this guy. He's only after one thing, and he's not even sly about it lol. Drop him and try to look on the bright side. He did you a favor by showing you his true colors BEFORE you had sex with him and before you wasted too much time on him.

[stevie123]

Sounds like a young guy with a pretty girl having a good time together.. He may have been a little forward but you can keep it under control and go at your own pace.. only time will tell, that is why we date, is to find compatibility

[Priv9696]

Check out my recent update

[MrCommodore]

All guys will usually want to have sex with a smoking hot girl, but if we get it too quickly, we enjoy it, but many guys will write the girl off as not girlfriend material.

The trick is usually to make him wait a few weeks, if he loses interest, it because he was only after sex.
However If he is still keen and is interested in spending time with you, being seen out with you and introducing you to friends etc, then he genuinely likes you.

[Fireguy17]

that seems a bit forward on the first date, possibly he was testing the waters to see if it would go further?
Not sure if any of your conversations were sexual in nature and he got his signals mixed up, but I would be more inclined to go with my first thought.

[Anonymous]

The only way you will find what you are looking for is through God, not a dating app created by the devil. You know what this guy wants... it's why he is so eager to arrange lunch the next day. You have doubts because of the effort he made... but a man will travel through perilous lands to get sex... do not be fooled by it. But if you have made so many of the same mistakes and not learned by now, then that energy will follow you and continue to attract the wrong type of guy.

[Priv9696]

What am I doing wrong? Why di guys only want sex from me

[Opinion Owner]

The answer to your questions lies in the delicate balance between the sexes, that has been eroded by those that want to control society, population and more. Therefore, it might not be something you're doing, rather most men are only looking for sex.

[Priv9696]

Pls read my updated message on this question

[Opinion Owner]

So it's now clear what he wants. It is neither right or wrong. But if you don't want the same, then move on. It's likely he is just looking for another notch and will move on to the next girl (dopamine hit) once he's done.

[Priv9696]

So he basically lied about wanting a relationship with me wow. He was like “I can see you being my girlfriend” and “you should meet my mum” this is what he said to me when we first started talking

[Opinion Owner]

Most guys will lie to get what they want. But one need only watch actions to see if they match with the words. Everyone knows what cuddling and kissing will likely lead to.

If he has said anything about wanting a relationship with you... ask yourself what that would be based on since he doesn't even know anything about you yet. Therefore those are empty words regardless.

You asked what you are doing wrong. It's simple. You are placing all of this on your own shoulders instead of God. And you are trying to find a needle in a collective haystack that has been brain washed into seeing only pleasure instead of creation.

[Renegade_Sailor]

Men are hard wired to want to fuck, it means he thinks you're attractive.

Also take a good hard look at this man, is he someone you can see yourself long hauling it with?

If so and you want to keep him around, empty his testicles, feed him and give him a massage, and don't complain about anything.

Show him that you're better that the other 90% of women out there, don't make him jump through a bunch of hoops, show him that if he does right by you, you will do right by him.

When I am looking at a woman, if she doesn't give me the rockstar experience from the word go, she has no business being in my life.

If you're not ready to give it to him, he ain't the one.

[Priv9696]

So sex on the 2nd date won’t push him away?

[jasco]

Set boundaries and depending on his reaction stay or leave. Tell him first. However it could just be that he's exited. I be like that to if i was dating a pretty girl however that be more towards the 3rd or 4th date

[Priv9696]

Aw are you saying I’m pretty?

[jasco]

yea you are pretty

[jasco]

Also being touchy feely so soon is a bad sign anyway in my opinion. I want things to be fun and slow. I like to observe before i dig in

[Priv9696]

Maybe he has high sex drive. At least he travelled an hour to take me out for dinner

[jasco]

true and even if he does have a high sex drive, hands to ya self and ask the lady if she wants your hands on her first

[Priv9696]

So you’re saying I should get rid of him?

[jasco]

What I am saying is be careful. If you like him enough than set some boundaries. If you don't than yea leave him

[Priv9696]

Just updated it - check it out

[alance99]

He doesn't seem to be a geniune guy to me, he doesn't know from a long time and grabbing a girl is not right on first date , my suggestion would be to take things and if he doesn't want that you gotta block him and move on

[Bklynbadboy12]

You said this was the first date if it is then you know all he want is sex. He doesn't even know you and he was all over you. That's a bit much on the first date

[Priv9696]

Maybe I should cancel tomorrow then. I give up finding love. Men seem to only want my pu$$y

[Bklynbadboy12]

Damn I'm sorry

[Bklynbadboy12]

Are you okay

[Priv9696]

I just put something on my update

[Bklynbadboy12]

Now you know if you go to his house to cuddle and kiss you'll have to fight him off cause he's gonna want more than that

[Priv9696]

So he’s not after a relationship.. he’s after a causal thing?

[Ironic_Method]

I personally am a very sexual person, but I dont really like ONS or hookups or anything like that. It's a crapshoot, really.

[NYCQuestions1976]

He's attracted to you. If you like him, that's a good thing... but tread lightly.

[NYCQuestions1976]

Response to update: Only go if you want to have sex with him.

[Priv9696]

I want sex AND a relationship

[NYCQuestions1976]

Well you better make that clear to him.

[SilverRain92]

He definitely just wants to have sex with you. I am not sure that he is interested in your personality

[Priv9696]

What gives it away?

[Wise4myage]

I say send him a text and tell him how you feel, If he does the same thing again then rid yourself of him.

[Wise4myage]

Don’t go unless your up for having sex.

[Shy_Steve]

Every Guy is not like him trust me, If it's a turnoff then tell him or just end it.

[Priv9696]

Now people are saying I pushed him away too soon 😞

[Shy_Steve]

Try not to worry about what other people think, You still deserve not to be treated like that.

[Luckycharms12]

He needed to cool down get he is attracted to you but got to wait don't rush