My boyfriend sleep w a stripper before we dated & I want to leave him. how do I put it nicely?

[Anonymous]

i’m realizing i’m finding out so many things during the relationship that would’ve been deal breakers for me. but now i feel stuck in it because i deeply care for him. i just look at him like he’s dirty and has no morals especially since his body count is in the 50’s.

i only have 2 bodies and i’d rather be with someone who’s a bit more reserved just like he’d want me to be. it’s crazy because if i said some shit like that he’d leave and be mad at me.

[Anonymous]

I think this question is mistitled. However, I'll still answer it.

"I only have 2 bodies and I'd rather be with someone who’s a bit more reserved just like he’d want me to be. it’s crazy because if I said some shit like that he’d leave and be mad at me." Congrats on this realization. More an more women are realizing this too. Men don't want to date/marry whores but they want to spend a good majority of their life indulging in them and when they're done, they expect virgin Mary to be waiting on them. No. If you don't want a female whore, I don't want a male one. So, I don't blame you for not being ok with his past because as you said if it were you he wouldn't be ok with it.

When you're breaking up with someone, it's not going to be taken as niceness. It's going to be taken as heartbreak. Maybe say something like: As I am finding out more and more about your sexual past... I'm finding myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with it. I just don't think we are compatible so, things end here for me. I'm sorry, but I sincerely wish you nothing but the best in life." It doesn't sound so nice but maybe you can tweak it.

[Asker]

this was perfect! thank you for this!

[HollyK21]

There’s no easy or “right” way to break up, and no matter how you do it, it’s gonna suck regardless. Better to just get it over with rather than prolong it.

[Tstrbrainer]

If you feel like his past is a deal breaker, then I think you should end it with him as you said you wouldn't have dated him if you knew these things at first.

So just say that his past is a deal breaker for you and move out.
Maybe you can talk like how the anonymous female user said in her opinion.

And his past are his own actions, so if he's an adult he should take it

[OlderAndWiser]

"How do you put it nicely?" IS that REALLY your question? Is there actually a question here? You know what you want to do, so why haven't you already done it?

[Asker]

i was looking for opinions. the website makes me ask a question…. therefore that’s the question

[SnakeBoop]

"after finding out more about you, I don't feel we're compatible. I'm not comfortable with some of your sexual past."
Just be kind of honest with why

[In_Trance]

"we're through"


that's it; you're done

[Asker]

short and sweet! i like it

[Curmudgeon]

"My boyfriend sleep w a stripper before we dated"

Emphasis on the last three words. How was he to know he would meet you one day?

[Asker]

Very true, I’ve tried talking to myself over and over and tried rationalizing everything but I just think for me it comes down to simply exclusivity. I value myself and i feel like sex is a sport for him. It just makes me think maybe i’m not the right fit because i don’t want to drag him down if he wants to go to a club in the future etc.

[Curmudgeon]

"It just makes me think maybe i’m not the right fit because i don’t want to drag him down if he wants to go to a club in the future etc."

But that is an IF, not a when. It may well be you are the one he wants to settle down and have babies with, you know? Anyway, don't look for trouble that is not there.

[exitseven]

You just have to bite the bullet. You will never change your opinion so it is pointless the drag it out.

[Anonymous]

Why not punish him by dressing him as a stripper then leaving him

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Why should sleeping with a stripper, be a deal breaker

Seems like there's a deeper problem, and you're SCAPEGOATING

You're likely cheating

[Asker]

No cheating over here. Everything in the relationship is good except I don’t feel comfortable. If it got out to my friends or family, i’d be embarrassed. But more importantly, i’m more embarrassed just by knowing it myself

[SuccessfulHornDog]

You have that right, as everyone does. Promiscuity and selection of sex partners matters and is indicative of future actions. Good for you

[Anonymous]

lmao you guys deserve each other. Sorry but this is funny.

[Asker]

Glad to know you’re a fan!

[Anonymous]

It's better you found out what he is like before getting married. Why do you have to struggle to prevent further problems in the future?

[jjj101010]

Leave his history in the past

[Asker]

you don’t think it’s a red flag at all?

[Wise4myage]

Tell him the truth?