I have a date possibly coming up soon. How do I handle her romantic past?

[Inthecraphole]

I am 27 and never had a real girlfriend. I just cannot give my heart to a woman with a romantic past.

I have a date coming up, and I am pretty sure this girl has already had a first love, if not more than one past serious relationship. I don't want to give my heart to her.

How would I let her down easy? How can I pursue this as a friends with benefits or just friends without getting attached?

[Juan_Curious]

In my opinion, you should go to the date without basing your feelings on her past but on what you really want at this point of your life. I know how you feel, because I had sex for the first time at 28 years old, and in the beggining I was feeling very awkward by my inexperience. But very soon I understood that I was more bothered by my inexperienced past than she was. Since then, I've had several relationships, but that first one remains special, because that woman showed me that I had no reason to doubt about my own worth as a person and as a man.
Also, there's another fact: ex-boyfriends and ex-husbands are far more jealous about what happens after them in their ex's life. I've also been there and I assure you it feels much more frustrating to know that a woman has left you for somebody better than you than knowing that she had some other people in the past. The one is a deep feeling of insufficiency, that you were not good enough for her, while the other is just something that at the beggining bothers you but after a while you forget about it. You are the future, they are the past.

[Inthecraphole]

I gave you MHO because of your nice feedback. Although, I don't know if I can (or am ready) to be able to look past a woman's romantic past, especially those bonds she formed during her youth and her first love. First loves are usually always unforgettable for people. And it may not be because it is so much the first (I don't know) but maybe because it stems from their youth. It is that hypothetical situation that exists to where she can reunite with someone from her youth and it be a sweeter, more desirable outcome. Also, they can say they were meant for each other all along. Plus, they say you don't love quite like you did the first with as much intensity.

[Inthecraphole]

It goes back to "you never forget your first love" and "the first love always has a special place in one's heart"

[Juan_Curious]

Off course, you are right, first -achieved- love (because I'm sure she isn't your first crush) is very special. But I insist, you shouldn't be afraid of the relationship status with her if you notice that she, as a person, attracts you. First of all, people in relationships, specially during the first months, can have tons of sex, much more than the 1-night-standers or the friends with benefits, and the emotional link can lead to quality sex. Also, I think you should try the emotional bond even more than the sex itself. This is what will make you a really skillfull partner in all aspects of a relationship.

[Juan_Curious]

And I've also noticed something else: when a man doubts about getting in a relationship with a much more experienced woman, he secretly feels insecure about being "mocked" by those men who have already been with this woman in the past, specially those who had casual sex with her. Like "why do I fall in love and try so hard to be with somebody who has given her body so easily to others? Won't they laugh at my face?". And this way is how a person's mind includes the opinion of third parts in a relationship of two. Very unfair for the girl, who this way will always have the role of the sex object, of the woman everybody is willing to have sex with but nobody to take seriously. When you say that you prefer her as a friend of benefits, means that you are already trapped in this mindgame.

[Curmudgeon]

NEWS FLASH: At TWENTY-SEVEN, they will ALL have romantic pasts. You are late to the proverbial table. Don't feel bad, I was too.

Hey, InCel (again, don't feel bad, I was one too before they even called it that): we aren't getting virgin girls. We just aren't.

[Inthecraphole]

I found a girl without a romantic past last year. She didn't even have a male friend before me. She is 18. I was heartbroken when she told me I wasn't her type when I met her the first time in person.

I lost my virginity to a 16 year old virgin girl when I was 20.

[Anonymous]

Dude, you need to shut the fuck up with the same bullshit post. Go lose some fucking weight and seek therapy, you’re a pedophile.

[Inthecraphole]

How does wanting me and a woman to be each other's first loves make me a pedo?

[Inthecraphole]

I guess dating an 18 year old woman makes me a pedo because I am older?

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t act stupid. You’re the same dude that has criminal charges for stat rape. You have mental problems 🤮.

[Inthecraphole]

I don't have Statutory Rape charges at all. I have a Stalking conviction where I plead no contest. It stems from that 16 year old girl I lost my virginity to when I was 20. She was legal age of consent, therefore, they couldn't charge me with statutory rape.

[Anonymous]

Either ignore her past or just ignore her in general and accept being single forever

[Inthecraphole]

Why would I be single forever? Surely I can find a decently attractive woman 18+ that has never had her first love before.

[Opinion Owner]

Bcs you reject every opportunity you get since it doesn’t meet your unrealistic standards. You might be able to find someone that had never had her first love but her standard are gonna be ridiculously high - not sure if you’re up to par