Is lying essential to romance?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[SteveSmith1985]

The fact that this question even exists is frightening.

No. Lying is bullshit. Period.

I mean... if you're taking a two week trip to Italy, and the guy you're having a meaningless fling with tells you he owns that big boat when he really doesn't to try and impress you? Sure. Fine. I guess there's no harm in his lying and you believing the lie about the boat (for the sake of 'romance' by making the dude seem like a big-man).

In pretty much any other situation lies bring nothing good to "relationships" or "romance" or any interactions between two people

[Luopio27]

I agree.

[007kingifrit]

nobody can handle 100% honesty

[NicoletteXO]

The fact that 30% of men think lying is essential to romance, and only 11% of women, is also terrifying. Especially as a woman!!

[SteveSmith1985]

@NicoletteXO now... Initially that does seem horrifying.

But... think about it for a minute... I bet you actually already knew this information in your heart.

I bet that if someone were to have asked you a month ago "what percentage of guys would you say lie to their partners?"... You would say something around 30%.

I think 11% of women sounds about right too.

[crazy8000]

@007kingifrit
Very bald claim

[NicoletteXO]

Why do you think such a large proportion of men think this is ok?

[NicoletteXO]

Not only ok, but ‘essential’? (Presumably there would be a higher proportion who thought it was just ok)

[CaptainOverthink]

No.

But it also depends on how far or to what stage of romance you want to go and how fast.
Also, is the point to keep them long term? Then still No.

Lets also be clear of the definitions here..
Honesty is paramount. But however close we get, none is entitled to EVERYTHING in my life. Everyone has secrets and things we'd rather not talk about. Conversations with friends that are confidential. That is not lying or dishonesty, that's privacy.
What do you have instead of everything? Trust.

[Rachelspiks]

No, being honest is essential to romance. Did you ask this question to appear "edgy"?

[dustybiker]

If you have no intention of it being a lasting relationship.

[Shizunk]

No. One major thing I look for in people in general, but especially in women is the ability to take criticism or listen to things you disagree with and be calm and respectful about it. Having to lie because someone can't handle truth is typically a sign of power dynamics going horribly wrong. Someone lies to avoid conflict because the other would be too harsh if he knew the truth. Or perhaps someone cheating and lying because they are an asshole. I see no scenario where lying is beneficial. If you feel you need to lie, there is a problem somewhere you need to fix asap.

[crazy8000]

They say about 7 times of 10 is a lie if I remember it right acording to science.
Most of the lies is comon phrases we use towards other in small talk. like answers too how is the whether, how are you, your dress looks amazing... and so on.

A relationship based on lies and lying usually eats up a relationship.
An other thing is.
If someone doesn't say something isn't a lie even if some think's it is. It's just lack of communication.

Are you after sex instead of lying.
Depends on what each person consider is essential for something that are more than just friends.

[molonski2]

The idealistic answer , and an answer many will give is NO..
However , reality is quite different , and the truth can be soul destroying , far better to be a little more tactful , and often even use total denial and stretch the truth a little , a few white lies never hurt anyone.
The world is not black / white , a few small untruths are essential , and if others were being honest they'd realise they actually lie constantly.
YES , utterly essential in romance , and used regularly.

[SkyCastle90]

The correct answer is no.
The real answer is yes.

Everyone lies for one reason or another; some are even on a need to know basis. Either way, it happens often. At some point in everyone's life, you will be the honest person in the relationship dealing with someone who doesn't give you all the details, who thinks white lies are harmless, who answer questions with I dont remember, etc.

It's norm we all grew accustom to living with.

[ohshee]

No no no no
You start out a relationship as a friend as a bond as trust as respect the first time anybody lies is when it starts going downhill from there I don't care how much it hurts you have to be honest no matter what both people

[Hairylegs222]

In some situations I have, but they aren't essential. When one of my ex gfs showed me her boobs for the 1st time, she asked if I like them. Well her nipples had... a ring of hair around them. I didn't want to be mean and said they're fine. But I found the hair rings unattractive. I tried to ignore them throughout the entire relationship.

Another situation is when a woman asks if she looks fat when she's overweight. I can't be mean and say yes lol so I try to say not really or something.

[pleasestopthis]

No, in fact that turns me off, once I've figured out the guy is lying to make himself look cool or trying to impress me. I want people to be real, not to charm with lies.

[serious]

Lying?

How can that be essential to romance? That is a very bad habit and is a waste of time. It can be detrimental to romance and relationships.

Hence NO.

[Rachel794]

No! Lying is one of the most common reasons people step away from a relationship, they don’t have time for lies and games.

[Grond21]

Lying is not only not essential to romance, it's a killer of romance. It'll increase it for a day or a week, but when the truth comes out the romance will die. But if you connect over the truth than the romance can live forever

[t-8900]

Without honesty the whole damn relationship is a farce! a lie! The only thing you are left with is an illusion. And trust me if you're a liar, no matter how good you are you will ALWAYS eventually slip up.

[FunkyMonkee]

It's essentially to killing one! I sure as fuck don't want to be with someone I can't trust implicitly!!

[FunkyMonkee]

*essential

[MrKinktastic]

Lying no, minor deception to create space can be important to maintain a sense of distance when none exists though. Also for planning surprises like gifts etc.

[CallmeTheKnight]

It is not, no matter the excuse. Romance calls for open honesty with words and the body. It is shameful to tell a lie when you're seeking to bond with someone.
One single lie will prove that you have little to no integrity to that person.

[lilaccc]

it might be okay at first, but don't be too often before you become suspicious of each other..

[EssenceOfLight]

You will never come far with lies, in relationship is honesty essential. People feel after a while when their partner is dishonest and this creates doubts.

[PuNishant]

You can't like everything about a person so what you gonna do?
Some people are cool about that they understand it.
A few lies save the day that's it. 😂
Just like you enjoy that last night but you didn't.

[Adam_INTJ]

If you won't deal with bold guys, yes. Guys who try to be friends first are lying by withholding their intentions.

Rejecting a guy who flat out says that he wants to take you on a date is a rejection of an honest guy.

[AviatorTom]

Lying isn't essential to anything. Truth is usually the best action.

[KAT247]

Lies are one of the essentials to NOT having a romance haha