Is lying essential to romance?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[SteveSmith1985]

The fact that this question even exists is frightening.

No. Lying is bullshit. Period.

I mean... if you're taking a two week trip to Italy, and the guy you're having a meaningless fling with tells you he owns that big boat when he really doesn't to try and impress you? Sure. Fine. I guess there's no harm in his lying and you believing the lie about the boat (for the sake of 'romance' by making the dude seem like a big-man).

In pretty much any other situation lies bring nothing good to "relationships" or "romance" or any interactions between two people

[Luopio27]

I agree.

[007kingifrit]

nobody can handle 100% honesty

[NicoletteXO]

The fact that 30% of men think lying is essential to romance, and only 11% of women, is also terrifying. Especially as a woman!!

[SteveSmith1985]

@NicoletteXO now... Initially that does seem horrifying.

But... think about it for a minute... I bet you actually already knew this information in your heart.

I bet that if someone were to have asked you a month ago "what percentage of guys would you say lie to their partners?"... You would say something around 30%.

I think 11% of women sounds about right too.

[crazy8000]

@007kingifrit
Very bald claim

[NicoletteXO]

Why do you think such a large proportion of men think this is ok?

[NicoletteXO]

Not only ok, but ‘essential’? (Presumably there would be a higher proportion who thought it was just ok)

[CaptainOverthink]

No.

But it also depends on how far or to what stage of romance you want to go and how fast.
Also, is the point to keep them long term? Then still No.

Lets also be clear of the definitions here..
Honesty is paramount. But however close we get, none is entitled to EVERYTHING in my life. Everyone has secrets and things we'd rather not talk about. Conversations with friends that are confidential. That is not lying or dishonesty, that's privacy.
What do you have instead of everything? Trust.

[Rachelspiks]

No, being honest is essential to romance. Did you ask this question to appear "edgy"?

[dustybiker]

If you have no intention of it being a lasting relationship.

[Shizunk]

No. One major thing I look for in people in general, but especially in women is the ability to take criticism or listen to things you disagree with and be calm and respectful about it. Having to lie because someone can't handle truth is typically a sign of power dynamics going horribly wrong. Someone lies to avoid conflict because the other would be too harsh if he knew the truth. Or perhaps someone cheating and lying because they are an asshole. I see no scenario where lying is beneficial. If you feel you need to lie, there is a problem somewhere you need to fix asap.

[crazy8000]

They say about 7 times of 10 is a lie if I remember it right acording to science.
Most of the lies is comon phrases we use towards other in small talk. like answers too how is the whether, how are you, your dress looks amazing... and so on.

A relationship based on lies and lying usually eats up a relationship.
An other thing is.
If someone doesn't say something isn't a lie even if some think's it is. It's just lack of communication.

Are you after sex instead of lying.
Depends on what each person consider is essential for something that are more than just friends.

[molonski2]

The idealistic answer , and an answer many will give is NO..
However , reality is quite different , and the truth can be soul destroying , far better to be a little more tactful , and often even use total denial and stretch the truth a little , a few white lies never hurt anyone.
The world is not black / white , a few small untruths are essential , and if others were being honest they'd realise they actually lie constantly.
YES , utterly essential in romance , and used regularly.

[SkyCastle90]

The correct answer is no.
The real answer is yes.

Everyone lies for one reason or another; some are even on a need to know basis. Either way, it happens often. At some point in everyone's life, you will be the honest person in the relationship dealing with someone who doesn't give you all the details, who thinks white lies are harmless, who answer questions with I dont remember, etc.

It's norm we all grew accustom to living with.

[ohshee]

No no no no
You start out a relationship as a friend as a bond as trust as respect the first time anybody lies is when it starts going downhill from there I don't care how much it hurts you have to be honest no matter what both people

[Hairylegs222]

In some situations I have, but they aren't essential. When one of my ex gfs showed me her boobs for the 1st time, she asked if I like them. Well her nipples had... a ring of hair around them. I didn't want to be mean and said they're fine. But I found the hair rings unattractive. I tried to ignore them throughout the entire relationship.

Another situation is when a woman asks if she looks fat when she's overweight. I can't be mean and say yes lol so I try to say not really or something.

[pleasestopthis]

No, in fact that turns me off, once I've figured out the guy is lying to make himself look cool or trying to impress me. I want people to be real, not to charm with lies.

[serious]

Lying?

How can that be essential to romance? That is a very bad habit and is a waste of time. It can be detrimental to romance and relationships.

Hence NO.

[Rachel794]

No! Lying is one of the most common reasons people step away from a relationship, they don’t have time for lies and games.

[Grond21]

Lying is not only not essential to romance, it's a killer of romance. It'll increase it for a day or a week, but when the truth comes out the romance will die. But if you connect over the truth than the romance can live forever

[t-8900]

Without honesty the whole damn relationship is a farce! a lie! The only thing you are left with is an illusion. And trust me if you're a liar, no matter how good you are you will ALWAYS eventually slip up.

[FunkyMonkee]

It's essentially to killing one! I sure as fuck don't want to be with someone I can't trust implicitly!!

[FunkyMonkee]

*essential

[MrKinktastic]

Lying no, minor deception to create space can be important to maintain a sense of distance when none exists though. Also for planning surprises like gifts etc.

[PuNishant]

You can't like everything about a person so what you gonna do?
Some people are cool about that they understand it.
A few lies save the day that's it. 😂
Just like you enjoy that last night but you didn't.

[CallmeTheKnight]

It is not, no matter the excuse. Romance calls for open honesty with words and the body. It is shameful to tell a lie when you're seeking to bond with someone.
One single lie will prove that you have little to no integrity to that person.

[lilaccc]

it might be okay at first, but don't be too often before you become suspicious of each other..

[EssenceOfLight]

You will never come far with lies, in relationship is honesty essential. People feel after a while when their partner is dishonest and this creates doubts.

[Adam_INTJ]

If you won't deal with bold guys, yes. Guys who try to be friends first are lying by withholding their intentions.

Rejecting a guy who flat out says that he wants to take you on a date is a rejection of an honest guy.

[AviatorTom]

Lying isn't essential to anything. Truth is usually the best action.

[KAT247]

Lies are one of the essentials to NOT having a romance haha

[Jay3344]

I think lying leads to a toxic relationship…sure you don’t have to say everything that pops into your head but no lies

[007kingifrit]

you got the wrong answer because you worded it very negatively.

but the truth is nobody should be 100% honest all the time (ask the question "should you be 100% honest all the time in romance" and watch how the % in the poll flips)

[sunshineglow]

Wouldn't change a thing

[007kingifrit]

@sunshineglow oh i bet it would. try it

[sunshineglow]

Should I be honest in the romance, yes. I don't see where's the problem.

[007kingifrit]

@sunshineglow nobody can be 100% honest with you all the time. you won't be able to handle that

[Spookydood]

Very minor white lies happen, but as a rule lying is kinda the opposite of what you want to go for

[Flower7]

No, it’s not. Many people seem to think that though.

[worldscolide]

Oh god, no its counter productive to healthy relationships and romance.

[Anonymous]

Kind of. Because she wants you to tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the world. Even she KNOWS that's a lie. But it's a lie she wants you to tell her.

[Pillarofhell]

That's cliche and a bad lie cuz lies shouldn't ever be easy to see

[Opinion Owner]

@Pillarofhell what can I say women at their core are pretty basic. It's only when you figure in their feelings minute to minute that they get difficult.
This is why I say lying to women is your best way to go in the beginning. Once she loves you then you can start being truthful. I don't care how good of a liar you are. At some point a woman is going to get mad at you. Women aren't stupid! They just act that way. Most women deep down if they would just listen to their gut would understand they're being lied to. But most women want to believe the lie as I said though at some point a woman is going to get angry with your lying ass but she'll love you at that point as well. And what will make the difference is how hard you tried to make good on your lies. You can promise a woman the world. She doesn't believe you'll actually make good on that promise. But in her head it plays out as you love her enough to give her the world. Whether it be true or not.

[sunshineglow]

Wow how manipulative and trash you are...

[Pillarofhell]

If you lie it shouldn't be about yourself or them, it should be about the nature of reality. Like "when you die your spirit goes to the sky"

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow how is that manipulative. Manipulative would be if I was doing it just to try to sleep with her. I got news for you a guy has very low odds with a women if he doesn't lie.

[sunshineglow]

He has much lower if he lies, fullstop. For love - doesn't lie, doesn't pretend, isn't impatient... and lies and pretending are direct tries of manipulation. Mostly out of condescending view towards women, thinking they cannot sense a lie, or not caring about their feelings thinking they are lower beings anyway, so who cares how they feel. Wow. Morality zero points.

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow see now you're getting it. Wow , I didn't even have t I explain that to you. I woul s not call you lower beings though.

[sunshineglow]

I'm NOT getting it. I don't get the reason why would a man want an empty relationship based on nothing but his own lies. That is going to fall into nothing sooner or later. Rather get one night stand than a lie of a relationship. Woman wants to hear nice words AND wants them to be TRUE. If you can't provide truth, you're "efforts" of lies will crumble into pieces. And WOMAN NEVER FORGETS. then you go, and call your exes crazy. Who is crazy there I don't know. Thanks God there is no such trash in my life.

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow i've explained this many times on here before. I take the short cut and just say women want men to lie to them. What I really mean is women have trouble telling the difference between real and fantasy. Men feed you a line and you buy it because your "feelings" kick in and your brain stops working. And if he's a good liar you gobble up everything he's selling. Because as I said your feelings are in charge now and you want to believe him. This is why so many of you come to G@G to whine about how you were duped.
You'd save yourself a whole lot of trouble if you would listen to me rather than getting hostile. But that leads me to my next lesson about women "You can't tell a woman anything". As b I I've said they are like fully grown children you can tell them not to touch a hot stove but they won't listen they have to touch it and burn themselves. The really dumb ones don't always learn the first either.

[sunshineglow]

I simply disagree. That is rather male behaviour. Around myself I never saw a girl 20+ behaving willing to accept lies. Feelings can't "kick in" as you say, because - intuition tells you he lies. So how can anything kick in. Women want real romance. Which does exist. You might not be that kind of guy and might not have that kind of capacity, but it does exist. Just not any two people will have this kind of ability to connect. And not without falling in love in relatively same time. I've known a guy who blinded by love, went after an ex girlfriend who moved with parents to another country. They broke up because of distance, she thought it's too hard. A year later, after long suffer and occasional checking up with her, how she is, how is life, he decided to pursue her and went to that damn other country. Only to find out she has another boyfriend for almost a year, from almost immediately after moving there. So? The guy had real romance in his heart, even prepared wedding ring.
Is he foolish for having such capacity in his heart? Well, true love is always blind. Don't mindlessly trash genders, rather talk about individuals. And it has nothing to do with lies. But with HOPES. Distinguish damn things, you sound so immature. I saw and heard many men completely capable of romantically devotion. One of my very uncles went bankrupt just to prove his love to his horrible wife who in the end left him.
So shut up.
Every person desires a true love and a deep connection with a partner. Some people are capable of this some not. You are not. Don't assume same about others. That's only what small souls do. Assuming everyone has same bad traits as you.

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow as I said you can't tell a woman anything. Touch the stove a few times you'll learn lol. All I can do is I tried to tell ya. Lmao

[sunshineglow]

You tried to lie about the lies. That's all what I see. Grow up. That's all I can tell you.

[LicorMortis]

Lies are incredibly necessary in modern relationships. If your partner asked how many people you've had sex with, and what you did with them, would you tell them everything? Of course you wouldn't. You'd omit information, which is lying.

[sunshineglow]

So basically you don't believe more pure people exist... But they do

[TonyMetal___86]

Honesty is essential to romance and not the other way around...

[Quigly]

Fraud is never a turn on, it just shows that you are a fraud as a person.

[Shiningtempest]

I never believe lying is essential to romance. Lying means that a person is afraid to tell the truth.

[boxxie2002]

Yes; not talking about a secret family or anything big, but white lies...
Saying something is funny when you don't think it is etc...

[TheBigGuy9]

Lying is only essential at one or two things in life and this is not one of them

[Nicaean]

Absolutely. My friends told me i had "the most logical woman ever", yet in private, she still has sensitive feelings...

[EaterPeter]

Wherever there is fear of loosing there will be lie

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

The opposite - truthfulness is.
Lying only causes hurt and pain.

[Anonymous]

ATTENTION MEN - Women lie about everything in Dating. DO NOT TRUST THEM AT ALL.
Does that answer your question.

[sunshineglow]

Is not true at all😒

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow How many women have you dated?

[sunshineglow]

I know myself and my friends. So that's quite a knowledge.

[Opinion Owner]

@sunshineglow I have dated over twenty women

[sunshineglow]

Maybe of Western mentality. To which I don't belong.

[Alexa99]

If wanna be trusted no. If you have to lie then it’s relationship built on lies.

[Anonymous]

No, honesty is the corner stone of a healthy relationship.

[Alyssa11]

Not unless you want to have a toxic relationship

[designer1]

Lying is how you successfully blowup a romance.

[snowgirl123]

no it is what kills the romance

[DonkeyDan]

Lying has no place in romance or a relationship.

[Miristheiss]

No, it is the enemy of it.

[EmbraceThePain]

No, it doesn’t have to be.

[Jinsoyun]

The opposite should be true.

[Joker_]

@vigors

[Vigors]

Not true

[ChiPaPa]

Lying isn't needed anywhere.

[thatkendy]

No, It is the begin of the downfall

[Anonymous]

Laying helps a romance. Lying hurts it.

[Jamie05rhs]

🤨 HOW, pray tell? 🧐🧐🧐

[rapfan107]

Usually its what destroys a relationship

[jimmy2]

Lying kill realtionships

[Julious0202]

on the contrary, the truth is essential

[888theGreat]

If I catch her in a lie , it is over

[Twalli]

Never had and never will

[the_kisses_of_sun]

There need to be lies sometimes.

[Bobby4488]

Yes, sometimes it is good to lie

[Anonymous]

Little lies here and there, sure

[sensible27]

Woat

[Anonymous]

Little bit is acceptable

[Anonymous]

NOT to romance, no
to get laid, YES