Why don't people quit saying "marriage doesn't make a difference"?

[shaysh87]

A lot of people say that "marriage doesn't make a difference" to their relationship as to justify why they aren't married. But the real reason why they are avoiding marriage is because they are AFRAID of marriage. They lack confidence that they will stay by their partners forever so by avoiding marriage, they can leave whenever they feel like leaving.

If you liked someone enough, you would want to be married to them, put your own claim on the person you love. It will make a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

How will it make a difference? Why is it so important to some like you? Do you think it "proves" commitment? It doesn't. And some don't do it for other reasons such as expense. Do you know how much it costs for a wedding? And for guys especially it's a HUGE financial risk! "Lack confidence"... well, if it were you and looking at our divorce rates, would you be confident and risk your ENTIRE financial picture for the rest of your life! Why would we have confidence? And you can be 100% confident, but things can change over time. I'm sure everyone that has got married and then divorced was confident in the beginning. And when I say a guy is risking his financial picture for the rest of his life, I mean that very literally! I've met guys working 3 jobs and killing themselves just to survive. And it's not short term either. A woman can even go after an ex husbands pension in his retirement! Something that should be 100% his no matter what in my opinion, but not the laws. Honestly, I think women are extremely lucky any guy even considers marriage ever! I see why women want it, if things don't work out, it only benefits you! (in most cases)

[Opinion Owner]

I don't believe you have to be married to "prove commitment" (some see it that way) or to live happily ever after. Why do you have to be married for that? Why do you think marriage has to be something someone wants if they "love you enough"? They can't love you just as much without marriage? Why do you assume they think it's the "easy way out"?

[shaysh87]

if you liked someone so much, why wouldn't you marry them? is there a problem with marriage that you don't like?

[shaysh87]

you have no faith that your relationship or love for her will last forever

[jshm2]

Because they are bitter and ignorant. So prefer denial over facing up to reality.

[Anonymous]

Who cares
seriously not everyone wants to get married what you think marriage is going to make the husband or wife stay faithful to you Your delusional I’m getting married but I also know many people who have remained very happy with their partner without the need to go and spend thousand off dollars on one day instead they used that money to go and buy a home which to them was far more important than getting married and yes these people have kids with their partners but again they are very happy together they don’t know see the point of spending $20-$30 thousands on a wedding when for them that money can be better spend elsewhere so not getting married doesn’t have anything to do with fear or lack of confidence there are people out there who genuinely don’t want to get married while there are some people who might not have the funds to get married so peeve off and stop judging people for not getting married you don’t know their circumstances or why they are choosing not to get married

[shaysh87]

there is less stability when there is no marriage. In a relationship where there are no consequences to breaking up / its so easy to leave, the couple really has no incentive to work on things when its needed the most. Often times, its all up to working on things which makes or breaks the relationship.

if you think divorce rates are high, what makes you think break up rates aren't higher?

[Alphonsolawa]

That make a relationship more powerful. If people can stay together even without an incentive that means their love is stronger.

[nice-girl]

Maybe because of their age and they think that there is a right time for everything. I used to think this way. But agree with you that marriage makes difference.

[Celtero]

Actually, I just see shitheads get married, cheat each other, abuse each other, get divorced soon after getting married, and it's pretty obvious marriage is bullshit.

[shaysh87]

marriage has worked for thousands and thousands of years. Divorce had never been common until the past few decades. what exactly went wrong nowadays? our expectations from marriage has changed.

[ChiPaPa]

Because, it doesn't. Not everyone wants to get married Anything you can do with your spouse,, you can do with your girlfriend or boyfriend. Relationships can last a lifetime. I wanted to get married, but I can see their perspective, too.

[shaysh87]

if you liked someone enough, you would want to marry them. UNLESS there is something you don't like about marriage.

[ChiPaPa]

I would. However, for many people, they don't have to.

[shaysh87]

listen dude, when you're head over heels in love, you would want to marry the person because you can't ever stand the idea of them being with someone else. you would want to put your claim over them.

The only reason why you won't want to do so is because you're dont like certain things about being fully committed to the other person. Some people don't want to see their lovers every day. Some people still like the freedom to flirt and befriend other women. Some people like variety and do not want to be tied down by one person for the rest of their lives. Some people have no faith that their relationship will last.

[Anonymous]

people are responding to the negative effects collateral damage of feminism decline of marriage is one of them

[BeMuse]

You can still leave whenever the fuck you want when you are married.

[Hangry06]

NO. Some people don't believe in marriage. Not everyone thinks like you

[shaysh87]

so you basically don't believe relationships should last forever?

[Hangry06]

No. YOU said that

[shaysh87]

the only reason why you wouldn't want marriage is because you have no faith that your relationship will last forever. you want an easy escape route so you can run away whenever you want.

[Hangry06]

I expected 30 year olds to be less childish. Turns out age doesn't lead to maturity
#Sad

[shaysh87]

just because you don't like facts of reality, it doesn't mean its immature.

[shaysh87]

and plus, im not 30

[Hangry06]

Ok red pilled weirdo

[shaysh87]

so why do you hate marriage so much? you don't want to spend the rest of your life with someone you love?

[Hangry06]

Oh sorry. If you believe in forever together BS, you are not red pilled. Youa re insanely blue pilled lmao. That's more sad

[shaysh87]

i think you sound insane right now. angry crazy bitch

[Hangry06]

Your mom

[Tstrbrainer]

Yeah marriage makes a difference, it puts more financial risk

[shaysh87]

there is much more financial stability in marriage than for unwed singles. In marriage, its 2 people making 1 net worth

[Tstrbrainer]

Financial risk from divorce

[shaysh87]

you don't divorce when times get hard. marriage is not about being with the perfect person. its about putting your spouse over yourself and finding ways for the marriage to work. A lot of divorces are not inevitable. Its just people who are very entitled and put themselves over their spouse.

Trust me, if you're gonna put yourself over your spouse, no relationship you ever get into will last forever.

[shaysh87]

marriage has worked for thousands and thousands of years. Divorce had never been common until the past few decades. what exactly went wrong nowadays? our expectations from marriage has changed.

[Tstrbrainer]

Yeah, marriage is not something many people need.

[shaysh87]

if you aren't married , who will cook and clean for you when you break your leg? if you break your leg and can't work, who is gonna help pay your bills? NOBODY! your girlfriend is not obligated to do that.

[shaysh87]

do you realize how many people die alone with nobody to celebrate their birthdays with? nobody they can put down as an emergency contact? one day, your siblings will all be married and have families of their own. they care about their own wives and kids more than you. your parents will be dead. so now who will have your back? NOBODY!

[Tstrbrainer]

These things you mentioned are conveniences in my eyes.
I don't think one should get married if all they care about is losing these conveniences.

You can't just count on people

[shaysh87]

These are not conveniences. It’s human nature want to know that there is someone there who cares for you. To have People who you know you can rely on and trust. You come home to an empty house everyday for 40 years while I come home to a crowd of family who I know loves and cherish me to death

Who is happier in the end? The person who is loved and cherished.

Having friends is different from having family. You can’t count on friends to be there for you. Friends will always put their own families as a bigger priority over you.

Once you hit a certain age, it becomes increasingly difficult to date and find love. Your chances of finding someone at 46 is different from the dating game at 26.

Is throwing away everything away worth The little bit of romance? Is there nothing else to your life but romance?

[shaysh87]

I don’t know about you but to me, having nobody there that I know who loves / cares for me is an extremely lonely and isolated life. I don’t want to not know who to put down as an emergency contact on a form. Or to have to question “will my emergency contact even care if I get sent to the hospital? Who is going to bother attending my funeral?”

Sure you can make all the friends in the world but those are loose uncommitted relationships. It’s not about how many connections you make , it’s about the strength and depth of those connections. At the end of the day , friends come and go. But family will always be there for you during the bad times and good times.

There are extremely rare exceptions such as a friend paying your rent for free when you’re unemployed. Or family disowning their children but it really doesn’t happen much

[Tstrbrainer]

Were you on this site before?

[shaysh87]

yea. i was. This is just my new account

[Tstrbrainer]

Nella? I think I've talked to you

[shaysh87]

Yea I don’t think I’ll ever find dying alone appealing

[shaysh87]

I plan on having kids even if I don’t end up getting married.

[Tstrbrainer]

All the best👍

[TheFlak38]

they don't even believe it themselves

[H3LLBRING3R]

Because nihilism is a cancer.

[Anonymous]

Why is the divorce rate so high?

[In_Trance]

Sure, whatever