What is the point of getting married if people don't take marriage seriously?

[Anonymous]

[Sugar100]

Yes no point get married everyone I know I’d divorced or cheated on while married. My parents try make it seem like oh if you are married a guy will stay forever with you. Bullshit. I don’t wana be married and cheated on. That’s a nightmare. Not fair a women needs keep the guys last name and then pay for divorce and wait months or years for it to finalize. I feel people marry super young to have sex that’s it

[Alwayreckles93]

You are not the only reason en same thing here girlfriend. My ex cheated on me with his stupid upline from Amway. Shit I even got to the point realize love doe snot exist it's only a fairy teal fantasy.

[Alwayreckles93]

I apologise spell check went off crazy on my phone.

[Flower7]

Most people just feel like marriage is what society expects of them.

[DaveJord]

Honestly in todays world I have no idea why people would want to get married. And for the ones who don't take it seriously they are naïve and probably shouldn't. Marriage as concept is great, but its relatively the most impractical thing you can do now days. Finically speaking its a bigger investment then buy a home, and there is dimensioning returns on investment.

[Kaamraj]

Over half of the marriages end in divorce, if we exclude old timers then the figure would be much more. Women file 70-80% of the cases and receive 90% of alimony. So that question should be asked to women. What I think is that women are incentivized to divorce their husbands so you can't get into a deal with a person who is rewarded to break it.

[Asker]

Probably because women get tired of putting up with the man's bullshit.

[RandomGuy1030]

So women can't pick their partner is what you mean

[Asker]

@RandomGuy1030 I mean why do people choose people they don't even like it makes no sense

[RandomGuy1030]

When marriage was invented the family of the woman had to agree the man wasn't a moron. Nowadays its taboo to tell your bitchy feminist daughter "no" like that

[Kaamraj]

@Asker - Marriage is not all about love, it's about duties also. Near all cultures outside the west understand this.

[bamesjond0069]

But it would have to be a lot of bullshit to leave and get nothing. Nowadays he look at you wrong and you leave w a house and paycheck.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

I will be the one that says it.

50% of marriages end.

Of that 50% about 70% is started by women.

So, basic math, after you say "I do", the odds of your wife initiating divorce is 70%x0.5= 35%.

And the odds that the man will are 50-35=15%.

It's a 20% difference.

Everyone talks about that 70%. Because is big number. Made to scare. They forget to say it's a 70% out of 50%.

If you consider the raw numbers that you each person has after marriage women only divorce men 20% more.

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
“So women can't pick their partner is what you mean”
How would you come to that conclusion?

[RandomGuy1030]

@UCrayCray gee

[Kaamraj]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 - Women file for divoce about 70% of the time with college educated women filing 90%. It's not 70% of 50% becaue then you would have to factor in the 30% of times that men file for divorce and compare both of them to find out how many more times women file for divorce, which would be more than twice as likely as men. The issue is that men are at the recieving end of divorce because they pay 90% of the alimony and vast majority of the times lose custody of children.

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
A much as I appreciate your well thought out response, it’s didn’t really answer the question.
Think you could try again?

[RandomGuy1030]

Are you dumb

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
Are unable to answer the question?

[RandomGuy1030]

@UCrayCray the question drives you

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
And clearly, it eludes you.

[RandomGuy1030]

@UCrayCray its a stupid question

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
Asking how you came to a specific conclusion is a stupid question?
Are you assuming everybody should know how you come to the conclusion you do?

[RandomGuy1030]

@UCrayCray some men get left behind

[Asker]

@UCrayCray well people do it people do a lot of stuff that doesn't make any sense.

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
As do some women.
If woman leaving shitty men who mistreat them means they “can’t pick their partners,” isn’t it fair to say the same thing about men who pick shitty women who divorce them and take their money?

[Asker]

@UCrayCray I'm just trying to understand it.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Kaamraj let's think.
If only 50% of marriages end in divorce, how can women divorce men 70% of all marriages?
It is indeed 70% out of the 50% that actually gets a divorce. Meaning women only initiate divorce 20% more than men.
Fun fact if both are white the chances of divorce are lower. Around 35% of all.

Of course men pay more alimony. If one of the partners has no means of financial independence outside the money the other gives, then if they break up the court will not let the other person with no means of survival.

In the past, many women stayed in marriages they did not want because they were financial dependant on their husband. They had to stay. Now they can leave.

Solution? Convince all men to marry women with jobs.

[RandomGuy1030]

@UCrayCray women dont marry less fortunate men and even then 90% of the guys who file for divorce are feminine men

[RandomGuy1030]

Is it that hard to believe divorce would be incredibly rare if women couldn't file. Thats what the stats show

[Asker]

@RandomGuy1030 and make it so bad that the men be doing women wrong and they know better but we women still get called hoes even if we are the ones getting taken advantage of.

[RandomGuy1030]

I know you aren't a hoe you were just trying to do something good for the world in his bed

[Asker]

@RandomGuy1030 well people see it as being that way anyway like I can control that the guy didn't like me. He saw something he didn't like.

[RandomGuy1030]

Ok
The stats prove: divorce would be incredibly rare if: women didn't pick their partner by themselves. If: women couldnt file for divorce with no reason other than theyre bored and mad

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
Umm…okay? 🤷‍♀️
Are men just as much to blame for picking shitty women as women are for picking shitty men?

[Asker]

@UCrayCray well they marry you anyway even if they don't like you I don't know why they don't talk about the person who is actually doing the wrong. Instead of the victim.

[RandomGuy1030]

The truth is simply the world was and could be better if men were 100% in charge. But your ego needs to be stroked even when it means destroying the world

[UCrayCray]

@RandomGuy1030
I find it hilarious that you claim it’s women who are needing the ego boost when you clearly want to ride the coattails of men who came before you and claim their accomplishments for your own. Do you honestly believe that because it was men who did the majority of the leading in the past somehow makes you qualified because you have a penis like they did? Get the fuck outta here with that. And let’s not forget, we got to this point where we are today with men mostly running the show. Is the society men built so fragile that the simple act of allowing women to make their own choices can destroy it?
Sound to me like men were weak in their foundation. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have been so easy to destroy, as you claim is happening.

[bamesjond0069]

@UCrayCray "Is the society men built so fragile that the simple act of allowing women to make their own choices can destroy it?" Yes.

[UCrayCray]

@bamesjond0069
Well then maybe they are not the right people for the job after all.

[bamesjond0069]

@UCrayCray how so? Are there any other options besides men or women? Lol

[UCrayCray]

@bamesjond0069
Who is talking about other options besides men or women? I was insinuating that it was men’s leadership that brought us to where we are today, and perhaps they are not the right people for the job.

[bamesjond0069]

@UCrayCray and who would be the right people?

[RandomGuy1030]

Women would stick everyone they didn't like in a cage

[Kaamraj]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 - I think you are not understanding the mathemetics behind the statistics involved. Let us consider that there are 200 people (100 male + 100 female) who decide to get married, meaning 100 married couples. Now 50 % of that will end in divorce, or 50 couples or 100 people (50 men and 50 women). Now out of that women initiatated 70% of the divorce and men 30% meaning out of those 50 divorced men and 50 divorced women, 35 women and 15 men filed for divorce. So women file for divorce more than twice that of men or 233 % more not 20% as you have stated.

Now regarding men marrying women with careers or incomes, it might mean the amount of alimony is lowr but doesn't mean that you will not have to pay anything. Courts preserve the lifestyle of the woman after marriage so you're going to have to pay for her lifestyle that you upgraded her to. Now why did I use the word upgrade, it's becasue overlmingly majority of the time women marry men with better socioeconomic status than them.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

You said it yourself.
Men start 15% of all divorces and women start 35%. How much is 35-15? Is 20. Meaning they initiate divorce only 20% more than men do. This is raw percentage applied to everything that gets married.
If you want to make a relative comparison, it's more than double, yes. But then you are again applying a percentage to a percentage again for the sake of inflating the numbers.
Stay with the raw percentage.
Those informations mean the same thing. But look around the site. No one says 35-15. And why is that? Because it doesn't sound as crazy of a difference. And people want to feel like there is that difference. To paint the picture of the other side being evil.

That is not how it works. Courts preserve the lifestyle of both sides. More often that not wen because men are the ones that keep marrying women with much less income. But Maddona, J Lo Britney Spears all have to pay alimony to their exes. As an example.

[bamesjond0069]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 so 2+ women initiate divorce for every one man. Not sure your confusion. Do you not agree at the greater than 2 to 1 ratio?

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@bamesjond0069 I didn't disagree with that. That is true. The same way that saying that women only iniciante divorces after marriage 20% more than men do is.
Women start 35% of divorces and men 15%.
35% is twice more than 15%.
Both things are true.

[Alwayreckles93]

Honestly I no longer believe in love , Love does not exist. No one cares for each other so I honestly longer see the point in getting married. My ex cheated on me with his stupid Amway upline. I had realized this year that love is only a thing of the past or just a fantasy fairy teal.

[Ekvark]

To me marriageis irrelevant. If I love someone I will be with them till I die. But if they fall out of love or even yourself for that matter why would you trap them? It's more loving in my eyes to be with someone without a legal binding technicality holding you two together.

[Anonymous]

Marriage is cultural and religious. If you don’t have something binding in your marriage besides sex and emotion, your marriage is dead before it started. A lot of secular and atheistic people are getting married for no reason and it will cost them in the long run. Personally I think government shouldn’t be involved in marriage. It should be between the two individuals and left at that.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Go to it with just culture and religion. It will last, but it will be miserable.
By the way I am married and I am an atheist. Marriage has not been about religion and culture for a long time.

[Opinion Owner]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 Sure it can work, but I’m just saying religious marriage has a solid foundation to follow their vows and bind together. That’s why it has a higher success rate when both partners share similar values.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

When both parents share similar values yes I agree. Doesn't mean those values have to be religious.

[NamerOfStars]

Tax breaks and green cards, mostly. Shared insurance, too. Some people still DO take it seriously, but they're mostly the more traditionalist and/or religious types.

[OddBeMe]

If you don’t, then don’t. But if stats say divorce is 50%, that means the other 50 cares about marriage.

[clampfan101]

Honestly there may not be any… :/
I have always planned to honor my vows when I finally marry, and need her to do the same.

[RandomGuy1030]

Its life insurance for women. At any given point in time they can cash out

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

You know that men can too right?

[Kaamraj]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 - Nope 90% of the time men dont cash out, alimony statistics.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Kaamraj you really don't get statistics do you?
"Men pay 90% of alimony"
And
"90% of divorces end with men paying alimony"
Are two different things.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Kaamraj not all divorces end with someone having to pay alimony.

[Kaamraj]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 - I dont hink you understand how statistics work, or you think you understand too much. If there is a divorce and no one pays alimony and no one gets half their stuff taken then no one pays. However, if there is a divorce and 90% of the time men have to pay alimony and this is not including child support and partying with half their assets.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Kaamraj let's say the couple had no kids and both had jobs with similar pay. After they split assets, no one will pay anything to the other.
Divorce doesn't has a clause on it by law that says "one part always has to pay something to the other"

If there is no reason to pay alimony, no alimony will be paid. The stat is clear, "men pay 90% of all alimony" not "man end up paying alimony in 90% of divorces". Feel free to check that up if you want.

[Kaamraj]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 - As per your own labor bureau about 30 % of wives outearn their husbands while they pay only 3 % of the alimony. I wonder where this discrepency comes from, do they not disclose their income in family court or taking facts into accout the court still awards them alimony.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

@Kaamraj I also saw that stat and I was actually happy with it. That's a stat to show many guys here that women do want more out of relationship than money.
But about this topic... Making more doesn't mean "Making so much more your salary doesn't even matter". It can just mean making more 50 bucks it already counts as more and goes into that stat.
No one that makes just a bit more will end up paying alimony.

Look just asking, what I am saying isn't reassuring? Meaning even you get divorce you won't have to pay alimony just because? Isn't it good news?

[queenbossgaines]

Marriage is work and if both people doesn't put in 50/50 it's going go downhill

[Anonymous]

I never want to get married if I didn't want to be a mother

[Anonymous]

Just don't get married that's it. No need to create drama in public forum.

[JoyGirl]

I don't know, but I take it seriously. 🤷🏾‍♀️

[jahaims]

Find someone who also take it seriously

[Asker]

Where? A place where unicorns and fairies exist.

[OmegaSTC]

Seems like a huge over generalization

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm not sure how to answer a rhetorical question.

[Heilelliotrodger]

Women don't take it seriously. Men do

[Asker]

That is a lie from the pit of hell.

[Zygum]

If the purpose is only sex, the no need marriage

[Iron_Man]

There is no point