What's a mistake you've made in your dating life? What lessons have you learned?

Question

What lessons have you learned?

Wester1967 · Accepted Answer

Don't be nice or romantic to women. Take care of your own business and let them come to you. Do not chase women. Ever. If they don't want you now, it's gonna take too much time, effort and energy to change the equation. Better to go out and take care of your business and let them see it, have second thoughts, and come running after you. Most women never figure out that their standards and entitlement are completely whacked until it's waay too late. Leave them to their misery.

Never locate your locus of validation outside yourself. Don't depend on any relationship or other person. Ever. Even if you are married or have a girlfriend. ... One sh*t test and it's over. I'm walking. No ex boyfriends. No side dudes. No orbiters. No best guy friends. No girls nights out. No thotiana 304 BFFs. No sleazy poly STD-friendly open relationships. Quit playing in the kiddie pool.

Learn other languages for real. US women who get pissed that men have standards are full of themselves. Thai, Cambodian, Chinese, Korean, Viet, Taiwanese, Turkish, Colombian and Mexican will do just fine for me. Have a nice day.

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Well, I did But... 1. Don't date women who think you're too short (most of them). 2. Don't date queer women. 3. Don't date women who don't think you're as physically attractive/tall as her ex. 4. Don't date women who aren't over their abusive ex. 5. Don't date women who just use you as a "rebound" guy. 6. Don't date women who'll quickly 'fall out of love' with you. 7. Don't date women who don't accept you for who you are. 8. Don't date women who tell you you need to "be more confident" (a Chad). 9. Don't date feminists and woke chicks. 10. Don't date insane, toxic women. 11. Don't date let anyone try to mistreat or ignore you. 12. Don't date ever let anyone think you'll be their simp.

CherryRoseChampange · Accepted Answer

I think my biggest mistake is knowing the outcome of situations but trying to create a different one. Or giving the benefit of the doubt. When in reality, when people show you who they are and what they're about... believe them.

All my exs, I knew It wasn't a forever thing. I sure as fuck tried to make it forever, but then I found out it wasn't making me happy. I had to stop going against my gut.

If something isn't clicking then don't force it or settle. The person for you is out there. Just focus on building yourself up and let the opportunities come on their own.

devilish-cutie · Accepted Answer

I learned:

That just cause you deeply care about someone/love them and they have feelings for you too, it doesn't meant its a enough or that they are a good person or that you guys would work (that many rational things also have to be filled)

That noone really knows what is love, how it works and what to do to find true love

That many people settle for various reasons like wanting kids or loneliness
And their lifes aren't much happier than that of a single person

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

Spending so much money on someone who doesn’t deserve it.😂

globetrotter22 · Answer

I have been too idealistic about women over the years. I wanted to embrace a positive image of what I thought the woman is vs. reality. This lead to be being taken advantage of, lied to and exploited for their own bs purposes.

I remember a few years ago I had an on and off thing going with a younger girl. Truth is she just wanted me in the friendzone for her own conceited purposes. But when I ignored she would message me and/or leave flirty comments on my social media walls.

Then a few years ago she (when I was in a different state) she messaged me saying “I didn’t get a valentine from you”. I think put together a photo valentine card of her and I together. I was living in a different state.

What did she do with it? She took a pic of it and put it up on FB saying “look this guy lives a 1000 miles away and still got me a valentine. The guy im seeing now didn’t do anything”.

She was 100% lying selfish conceited piece of shit. My gut sensed that earlier and yet I wanted to see the “ideal her”. I have to stare ugly truth in the face before before being exploited. I’ve gotten better at it over the years but it was tough (I was raised by parents who taught me to kiss girls asses).

Romulus8817 · Answer

Being too self-centered. I'm a composer, and that takes a LOT of my time. The catch is that I don't have to dedicate as much time to it as I do, but alas, I do because I absolutely LOVE composing music. But I have lost past lovers because of my dedication to my craft. You have to find a balance between what you need to do as an individual and what you must do as a partner.

ohshee · Answer

Not to be selfish and date somebody just because you want to get laid you already know that's not going to work so why do it I learned a long time ago and it's just not worth it it's almost been a year for me I'm going crazy LOL but it's still not worth it to me

AaronKrieger · Answer

You can assume what mistakes I made by this list lol

- Do not ignore red flags

- Set boundaries early and stick by them

- Try to be more trusting and not let your insecurity get in the way

I noticed I get better about this stuff with each relationship

Andres77 · Answer

Trusting that beauty equated to good. Simple naive occurrence. I was such a fool. Like reaching for a Coral Snake. Pretty... but deadly.  My two exwives did me a lot of damage.

sage2021 · Answer

When y was younger and a guy would say to me "Trust me" I would trust him. Later in life if a guy would say "Trust me" I would instantly put up my guard and not trust him. Don't believe people that say "Trust me" beause they say it to get your guard down, then you're in trouble.

Jaximus-Lion · Answer

The whole dating thing for me is/was a mistake, that is the big lesson. Don't say (yeah, yes, sure) to everything. Ans this one is not for me , i don't pretend to be and look cool bit i have dated some where they pretended to be cool and things went real bad.

loveslongnails · Answer

Quite a few, but the most important lesson has been this:
"Never make a girl my priority if I'm her option"
Similarly, as my Dad used to say:
"Never lose your head over a piece of tail"

* Never date a girl who thinks Kayne West did that old guy (Paul McCartney) a favor to boost his career, by making that song they did together.
* Date a girl with passion, but never date a zealot
* Act like "no means no" even if everything else indicates otherwise. In other words, honor and respect your date's wishes and words.

Vegasrunner · Answer

There are two big mistakes I've made in dating

1) Not having an abundance mentality - Lot of young guys go through this, you find your first love or girlfriend and you naively believe she is the one. While that's cool and all the reality is there are millions of available women in the world and by fixating on one you can easily lose perspective of this. Causing you to do things like over pursue or devalue your own self worth.

2) Not understanding the importance of feelings and emotions to women - I learned this statement later in life. "It does not matter how you "feel" about a woman it only matters how she "feels" about you. When their feelings aren't strong, there's nothing you can do to strengthen them (despite what movies tell you) When they are strong learn to recognize this and you can pretty much have a women do anything you want.

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Everything I did regarding my ex.  A lot of things were learned through it as well. Signs and things I will never do again.  And one thing especially, don't stay just because the sex is good.

Texaskid1 · Answer

1. Falling in love too quickly. This was a mistake that I have made several times.

2. Not seeing red flags; she is toying with me or she is already spoken for.

I don't like to get into details about this but these experiences have made me cynical over the years. Now I don't believe in shit.

DiegoO · Answer

👍The mistake of not being honest with myself. I should have heard my inner voice telling me: "something is not right!"

👍The mistake of counting days to have something sexual. I realized it doesn't work that way. If your partner don't trust you, or if your partner has deep insecurities to work on, you'll not have a normal sexual life.

👍The mistake of ignoring big red flags.

Sam2021 · Answer

do not ignore your gut feeling, you will regret it. we have instincts for a reason.

PrettyPriya · Answer

The biggest lesson learned has been patience. Don't try to force something that isn't there and wait for love to find you.

Caramalkisses23 · Answer

Never give someone so much power over you. So many times I would give so much of myself to the relationship without getting anything in return. I learned to go by a persons action not what they say. Actions are truly louder than words.

Renee_IsCool1 · Answer

Don't try to force a relationship to work, being single is better than being with someone who doesn't care about you.

zagor · Answer

I was shy and insecure. Looking at old pics, I was actually a good-looking guy. But I was kind of unkempt and long-haired and generally didn't approach women when I was 18-25. Plus I foolishly spent my first post-college years in areas where is was mostly married family people.

t-8900 · Answer

If she's not willing to put in the same time, energy, and effort then she doesn't really love you and you either need to step back or move on. One sided relationships are honestly like an emotional abuse

paradiseonearth93 · Answer

I stay around longer than I should knowing I need to leave. It’s really hard for me to say goodbye even when in my gut I know I have to. Still learning this.

moviedude714 · Answer

Not pursuing things further with this girl who expressed interest in me during my sophomore year in high school, I like to feel it's possible that created a negative snowball effect in my dating life

ChiTown33 · Answer

Mistakes? The list is far too long to fill this box.
What lessons have I learned? That women are far too complicated. Anytime you try you just make things worse. It's best just to be ambivalent towards her. If she wants to stay she will if she wants to leave she will.

nice-girl · Answer

Not giving attention to someone's family while dating. I thought that it's not good to judge a person from his past, and let alone from his family.
But the family and the environment when a person has grown is very important.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Picking someone who had lots of casual sex in the past. Those type of guys typically look good and are very confident but they're not meant for relationships. I wonder if they even want something serious.

Raz_at · Answer

Talking about pasts, mine and his. My advice is never talk about your past because you change but their impression of your past won't.

dragoblack · Answer

Keep talking to a minimum, make sure to look clean shaven and styled, wear calone, and I've also learned no matter how cleaned up & stylish i am, i am considered average looking & boring, when women don't get to know me. Also, many women nowadays prefer to get into relationships via hookups instead of getting to know eachother via dates (at least that's my experience)

AviatorTom · Answer

I've learned it's okay to make mistakes. It's probably teh best way to learn.

A wise old colleague once told me, "If you're not occasionally making mistakes, you're probably not doing much worthwhile."

bowenw · Answer

Don't wait for someone who is involved with someone else to change their mind.

Elenareedmf · Answer

Investing a lot when it's clear that the person doesn't put the same effort or energy and putting up with a lot of shit but in the end I prefer being the bigger person.

exitseven · Answer

I sometimes dated people that were all wrong for me and I didn't end a relationship when it wasn't working. I just kept going out with her because it was easier than breaking up.

5150beayotch · Answer

If you love someone , set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted him back for a good reason. (I got him back, and I can see why now.)

Ailito · Answer

Tons of mistakes, and I have learned that its better and more peaceful to be single.

Youryeodongsaeng · Answer

I have always been shy when making the first move. Whenever I got comfortable in a relationship and want to make the first move, the relationship has already been ruined.

bean2k21 · Answer

I have learned that iambic tetrameter is no way to win a girl's heart. I could have saved so much time, if I just didn't write such terrible poetry. Also, do not talk about dead people in a sexual way.

SunnySensei · Answer

That never fall for someone who has just got out of a relationship.

hahahmm · Answer

All the times when I was young and bought some random woman a meal just because she agreed to go on a date. Guys today have the right idea: no meal till you prove you can be loyal.

bingbongbangbung · Answer

To not settle for someone just because they're into you

Twalli · Answer

Still with my first girlfriend, I don't know any mistakes I made, because I was too nervous to ask anyone else out. If we get married, doesn't that mean that I was 100% perfect with the person I decided to date.

Kkoalalita · Answer

Never chase anyone who doesn’t match the same vibe as you.

poneglyphs · Answer

Haven't made any mistakes because I haven't dated yet? 🤔

Staximus · Answer

Being twitterpated and getting my hopes up, not being able to see that I cared more about her than she cared about me. Again and again.

MJtheCoach · Answer

Girls NO’s has 55 different answers be more of a man girls give subtle messages doesn’t always mean no don’t trust your best friend God how many hot girls I lost because of my stupidity of not understanding backwards females language

LinaDaGoddess · Answer

I’ve ignored the signs or red flags that would’ve saved me from experiencing disappointments.

Slayerrrrrrr · Answer

Every ex was a mistake. Bad girls ruin good men. & I learned that people suck

LogicBomber · Answer

Never believe her when she says she isn’t talking to someone else... girls always have a few guys in play until they choose to get serious.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Never get serious with a ho. I've learned sexual history and choices is highly important when dating women. And always be at least a little bit of an asshole.

Thecuriousguy2020 · Answer

Money, gifts can't buy love. Having sex doesn't mean a person loves you.

RayBeam · Answer

Well i date with a girl we went her home after pub but i ended up to have sex with her mother than i understood that was trap and since i never go Girls house again my home or hotel thats what i learned

Shananonononon · Answer

I learned women don't want men like me, makes things simple

Julious0202 · Answer

not end a relationship because of stubbornness and wanting to be too fair

Redstang88 · Answer

After the last little while I obviously haven’t learned a damn thing

almarriott1987 · Answer

never open up lol they just chew on that ammo or use it against you or end up cheating on you anyways

ngraham101 · Answer

Be careful to do it in a way that you don’t get hair in your mouth…

scooogy · Answer

Women with kids have a higher priority than dating.

Loser94 · Answer

Being myself. Apparently Being myself is why I'm all alone now

RobT312 · Answer

Cheated. All for sex. Never again.

Jouth · Answer

I peed but it wasn't into a toilet. Tragic tale as old as time itself.

maria_cam · Answer

Don't put all your eggs in one basket

Not_Average · Answer

Don’t have any expectations with sloots.

Wise4myage · Answer

Expecting too much, too soon.

What's a mistake you've made in your dating life? What lessons have you learned?

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What did you learn from dating?

What's a mistake you've made in your dating life? What lessons have you learned?

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