Ok so my 12 year old sister is attracted to a 19 year old guy and is wanting to meet him when she's older is this wrong?

[Anonymous]

She met him online and it turns out he isn't really a pedo.

This is terrible!

This is normal/fine

[caring__1]

Help her learn from this experience. She doesn't want to put her life on hold for the next 6 years, fantasizing about someone who may not be interested in her. Suggest she write down all the positive qualities she sees in this guy, along with the positive qualities she sees in others she encounters or characters in books or movies. Making another list of negative qualities is helpful, also. Once she has a concrete idea of what she believes will work for her, it will be easier for her to choose potential partners. To make these lists even more effective tools, suggest she identify how each of these qualities might impact her. Just labeling "he's cute" won't cut it. What are the specifics that make him cute, and how will those aspects hold her interest, energize her and be meaningful long-term.

She's still young and inexperienced, so she may just get a good laugh when she reads these lists 10-20 years from now. Life is a growing process. When we feel we've grown, we no longer have anything to look forward to. Even though we may see ourselves as mature, when we look back at our younger self later on in life, we often realize how we really weren't prepared to make these types of decisions back then. That doesn't mean we can't open our eyes and start learning at any stage. The more knowledge we have, the more likely we'll like the results of our choices.

[horatiohornblower]

I think it really matters how he acts. Because it seems normal for a girl to have crushes on older guys. Which they forget about in a few months or a year. As they move on to another crush. In six months she probably won’t remember him.

Now if he knows her age. Yet continues to write to her online and encourages her. Then he should be reported. Because that is wrong and a warning sign.

[Asker]

I will be on guard, if he starts being weird and asking inappropriate questions I'll make sure to report his account I've been scrolling through her dm's with him and now I know his full name and where he lives so I'll keep a look out.

[horatiohornblower]

While it’s creepy if he keeps messaging her. If he knows her age.

I’m not sure there is much you could do anyways. If he doesn’t say anything inappropriate. Her parents could take away the phone, app or computer.

[Asker]

He acts more friendly they talk about games and stuff but what concerns me is the questions she asks and the fact that he answers them.

[horatiohornblower]

All I could really say is tell your parents. If you’re concerned. Because they can legally tell her not to talk to him. But I’m not sure what the legal rules are on what he can and can’t say to her,

[bizgirl]

There’s something wrong with him if he’s 19 and has anything in common with a 12 year old. Tell your parents before she gets herself into a dangerous situation.

[Asker]

This is what i was thinking but she isn't listening but I will be sure to tell them!

[ikEVERYTHING]

I suppose if you look throughout human history this, in terms of nature, is normal. However children are more innocent now so that is why these age gaps are a genuine problem. Not to mention this man probably does not have morals. Keep your sister away and only let her truly start thinking of long terms relations ships with some age gaps around 16 or 17 to be married around 18. But i would also advise sticking with her age

[wankiam]

well he ain't gonna wait around for 6 years so you may as well get her to put an end to it now

[Surely]

Hopefully they will be meeting when they are MUCH older.

[Asker]

Yes that's what I meant but I don't want it to happen.

[fred_durst]

you can warn that guy that you will report him to police if he is still keep contacting your sister

[Anonymous]

A. Not good, because their is always a chance he could change her mind. And when he is 22, she will be 15. So weird is that?

[LegendaryIcon]

oh, he's def. a pedo