Is it considered a red flag if a guy you barely know asks to sleep with you but claims to want a serious relationship?

[Cherrylicious]

Every time I meet a guy and exchange numbers with him, they never ask me out and we'll be talking for a few weeks but as soon as they want a serious relationship and "get to know me" is when I suddenly hear how much of an amazing woman I am and how they've been wanting to date me for a while and how they want something serious and I would only hear this when they wanna sleep with me and even requesting hook ups swearing me "the world" and how they really wanna be with me.

Not saying that all guys only intention is sex because I know every guy is different and wants sex at different times but would you consider it a red flag if a guy you barely know wants to sleep with you before getting know you?

[SteveSmith1985]

Generally, a guy who wants a serious relationship with you won't try and sleep with you before getting to know you. A guy who wants a serious relationship does look different than a guy who is primarily looking for sex.

If you 'only hear' the good things once somebody is clearly trying to sleep with you, then you're right to be suspicious.

If someone actually wants a serious relationship, they will be willing to wait while getting to know you. If they don't seem interested in getting to know you without seeming to have sex as their end-goal, then that guy isn't looking for a serious relationship.

I think you can navigate this rather easily. If you 'expect' a guy to get to know you before sleeping with you, and you make that super-clear up-front... a fair number of the guys just looking to get laid will naturally 'lose interest' quickly. Some assholes will definitely still try and deceive and manipulate you over the course of weeks or months in order to get in your pants. But... that's much less common than guys looking to get laid with minimal 'work'.

So I would consider it a 'yellow flag' at least. I mean... a guy looking for a serious relationship WILL still want to sleep with you. It's just... if he's looking for a serioous relationship he shouldn't be TRYING to sleep with you before getting to know you. After all... a guy looking for a serious relationship is ALSO worried that having sex 'too soon' might fuck things up. If he's not worried about that... he's not looking for a serious relationship.

Lastly, many guys would not consider a girl who would sleep with him right away, as "relationship material". That's by no means universal. But I'd say it's common. I think that way. If I went out on a first date, and the girl was willing to have sex with me... I assume she has sex with any/every guy she's ever been on a date with. After all, I am nobody special to her, I'm just a dude she doesn't know. I would totally have sex with that girl, but it would also tell me that I wasn't going to be pursuing a relationship with her. So... personally, if I'm interested in a serious relationship... I'm not TRYING to sleep with a girl before getting to know her.

[DaveJord]

The thing is that I have come across this issue with women... I mean they want this investment and it takes time and energy and usually costs a guy money on dates. But guys have expectations, and they want to know at some point if its worth their while.

For me every relationship starts casual, and it builds into something serious, so I will never commit to a relationship unless I know that we sync sexually and its hard to say if we never had sex.

[Toldol2]

You said it all

[SphynxUK]

Most men shower you with compliments early on, for one reason only. They will come thick and fast, the more you keep speaking/texting.
Anyone with real interest will be asking questions about you because they’re wanting to know you better.

[Toldol2]

Why not? Sex is important. Just make he gives and make love to you

[Cherrylicious]

So you're saying even if he's claiming to want a "serious relationship" just have sex with him even if that's all he wants? What's the point you're trying to make here?

[Toldol2]

What I am saying is that 1. There is no point at believing any man that wants a relationship with you without him knoWing who you are truly 2. Use him for sex its better for your health than a bad relationship. We Want relationship with them but they can be vampires. 3. Relationship takes Times and just make sure he or they make you reach the sky what they do beside this is not important

[RichSD]

It's typical for a lot of guys (especially inexperienced ones) to want to jump right into that. It's not exactly cool but it's so typical you can't even call it a red flag. Could be a really great guy who wants the whole long term relationship thing just like you do, but the only way to know is to get to know him better. If you take the risk of sleeping with him before you know each other, things can get more complicated than you might want.

[Dontaaaa]

Yes.

It was a red flag the moment you said "a guy you barely know".

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, it's absolutely a red flag!

[EaterPeter]

Yes, red flag 🚩

[Cherrylicious]

Reasons?

[EaterPeter]

Contradiction between his words and claim. If I barely know you and keep telling you silly things with trust me at the end of every silly thing I say. Are you going to trust me?

[Cherrylicious]

You're right?

[EaterPeter]

Conflict of interest would be better phrase