Is it a red flag if a man insists you sleep with him on the first date?

[Anonymous]

I refused to sleep with a guy on our first date. He didn’t look at me or talk to me afterwards. Instead he sent me home in a cab.
I am a bit upset about it and I thought it was quite cold of him to do that.
Does this mean he never planned on taking me seriously?
Be honest.

Yes

No

Didn’t have any love or respect for me or plans to take our relationship to the next step

[ohsheeT]

Well just thank God that you got home because he didn't even have to do that and then thank God for allowing him to show you exactly who he is before you did have sex with him or dated him further

It's a major red flag and I would never even give him the time of day again if I was you.

What really sucks is there's a lot of men like that out there and they throw a little temper tantrums

And to be honest with you I think you have really lucky because you need a lot of stories about girls in college and sometimes it doesn't end up as well and that's what really sucks because these girls don't press charges and they should

[Asker]

He didn’t pay for my cab by the way. I paid for my own way home.

[Asker]

So what is it that he didn’t have to do?

[ohsheeT]

Well he didn't have to be a jackass to you that's for sure and if you and I were friends and someone did that to you I would have to go talk to them because I think it's b******* to even treat you that way or any girl that way just because he can't have what he wants that's b*******

[WindAtMyBack]

Insisting on sex on the first date is a big red flag. Not taking you home when you said no means he's a huge asshole and you dodged a bullet.

"Does this mean he never planned on taking me seriously? "
Yes. That is exactly what it means. There is no other way to interpret this.

You did NOTHING wrong. This is not you in any way. So please do not feel bad about this. Don't think you did anything wrong. This is 100% him. This guy is total garbage.

You did the right thing. You should never ever feel bad for doing the right thing.

[Asker]

I think you’re right about dodging a bullet.
My friends said if I went through with it he would have ignored me anyways.
He didn’t even message me to see if I arrived home safely.

[Asker]

No closure or anything.
We had a good night. All ruined because I turned him down on the one thing I wasn’t comfortable with.

[WindAtMyBack]

Don't give in next time because you don't want a repeat. Stick to your guns. You'll know when you are ready. If anyone has to pressure you, then you are not ready.

[WindAtMyBack]

I just thought of something. Do you happen to know if he planned on using protection? This sounds like the type of guy who would also pressure you to not use protection.

[Asker]

He did ask about protection so I’m assuming he planned to use it. I put a stop to that talk immediately though.

[VIVANT]

no you didn’t ruin it because you didn’t have sex with him. he ruined it

[VIVANT]

He obviously doesn’t step himself seriously he can’t take another person seriously. Someone who thinks it’s ok to do that is so far gone. Run and don’t look back.

[VIVANT]

take * himself seriously

not step

[IrrelevantOpinion]

He was probably only there for the body not the person. I've not been in the dating game, just natural progression for me.

But an observation, going out dating seems to have two motivations. Those looking for quick flings and from what it sounds like a small minority of those looking for lasting relationships.

If you're looking for more than a quick fling then that date could be called a conflict of interest. Yes, he is a red flag for a lasting relationship

[teamvic]

That man just planned on using you for sex and dumping you off all along

That dude doesn't care about you. Just tells you what you want to hear to clap your cheeks

[LiamJHayden]

He looked at you as a piece of meat, not as a person.

[Phoenix98]

I think that’s a red flag in general.

[DerekC321]

Hell yeah