How do I tell my my strict mother I have a boyfriend?

[Cutiebhadie]

i am scared she will tell us to break up

[all_hayl]

It’s often hard for kids to see this, but parents are looking out for their kids. When I was young, my parents sometimes aired on the conservative or strict side, and it sometimes make me upset. Made me want to rebel. Now that I’m almost 40 years old, I see why they did it and I can’t say I would do any different if I had kids. Kids are young, naïve, ignorant, while also prideful and they sometimes think they know it all know what’s best. As a grown-up, it is laughable and sometimes painful to see how prideful, yet ignorant, kids can be.
Respect your mom’s wishes and hold off for now. Once you get closer to 18, if they’re still strict, maybe have a (RESPECTFUL) conversation with them. Plus, once you’re 18, especially if you’re no longer under the roof, you can do kind of whatever the heck you want.
Another thing, be smart and make good, responsible choices now. If they see that you are mature, and that you are good at making mature choices, maybe they’ll be a little bit less strict a little bit sooner than later. I was not very rebellious when I was young, and because of that my parents didn’t really care if I was out later or who I was with, even if I didn’t call or check in. I was pretty responsible, stayed away from drugs etc., kept my penis out of vaginas etc, so they trusted me more. Never had a curfew and they never even really asked who I was with.

[all_hayl]

After that ramble I reread your question. Just be open and honest and don’t bullsh**. She’ll likely appreciate you being upfront and honest about it. Then let the cards fall where they fall.
If she tells you to break up, I recommend that you respect her wishes. If you don’t, and she finds out later, don’t expect her to trust you - and rightfully so.

[Curmudgeon]

Unfortunately, at 14, she still calls the shots. Meet up with your boyfriend and see how you two can progress towards getting out of high school earlier, going off to college/university or trade school sooner, etc. It will take time and I know at your age a few years seems like eternity, but time IS on your side.

[RebeccaBI2000]

Better to be up front, because she will notice the signs and when your mood changes randomly. You can’t hide things from moms. They usually know. Just don’t say anything

[Gwenhwyfar]

You don’t. Not at 14. She will try and break you up.

[ElvenMr]

You can simply tell her, but reassure her, that you are not having sex, and he is a good guy.
Or if you are having sex, then tell your mom, that you know how this stuff works and you take precautions seriously. So be trustworthy. Don't make her and yourself regret this by screwing up.

She will still be very protective of you, but i think she'll understand it, if you show her that you aren't doing anything stupid. You know like getting pregnant, which you definitely don't want to happen at that age.

[noamazia]

how old are you?
if you have those fears then i guess you are probably 18 or less and still living with your parents. it's okay not to tell them, at least until you think it is serious, i mean when it looks like its going to last at least a year. and even then, there is a way to tell them.

[noamazia]

ok, now i see you are 14, this makes things more complicated and depends on you case. you need to tell them if you are dating more than around 2 months, but at least make an effort to look serious and grown up when telling them, so that they take you seriously.
but dont worry about it, you have plenty of time for romance

[dustybiker]

She will. She loves you and wouldn’t be controlling if she didn't care about you. Try and see it from her side too.

[Mangospacho]

Whoa. That’s a tough one. Does she not want you to have a boyfriend at all? You can sneak around but that’ll only work for a few months and she’ll find out eventually. You will have to tell her at some point, though, unless you two do break up.

[mark000h]

You are too young. Give it some time, you've got plenty.

[BarryLiverstone]

“Hey mom, I met a guy and we like each other. I feel safe around him. Can I tell you about him because I’m excited?”

[ohshee]

It may be the time to tell her is it right now then why would she want you to break up

[somesoul]

No.

Tell your boyfriend that you have a strict mother.

[somesoul]

Make the man value you. Never compromise lol.

[somesoul]

Ok geez you're just 14, relax don't tell anyone anything just do anything 🤣

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think if you both are mature then have a talk with her about things see how she reacts

[888theGreat]

She should , you are too young and immature to have a boyfriend.

[cookiecrusher]

Don't

Firstly because it's not her business

And secondly it won't last, you both are too immature.

[Anonymous]

First of all you’re 14… you should have a boyfriend behind your parents back

[Opinion Owner]

*should not

[Anonymous]

Well good question at some point u will have to tell her but i dont think tell her yet I suggest u wait and see how far the relationship goes before telling because anything can happen

[slatyb]

Why do you have to tell her?

[Anonymous]

Break up with him u are too young

[Seangreen]

Don't tell her shit then

[emperor90]

Just tell when u are ready

[Jcrummy98]

Just don't tell her unless you really have to.

[Anonymous]

You don't.
Or else you are asking for trouble.

[Opinion Owner]

Don't listen to the other idiots here. They will lead you towards great disappointment like they themselves are.

[Subarugirl]

Is this advice you’d give to your own child?

[Opinion Owner]

Some plonkers downvoting me 🤣

[Anonymous]

Just sneak around, it's better.

[Subarugirl]

Is this advice you’d give to your daughter?

[Opinion Owner]

@Subarugirl You have to realize if you have daughters that they want to start having sex when they turn 12 or 13 these days, so you can't be naive. Romeo and Juliet?

[Subarugirl]

You would encourage your 13 year old daughter to sneak around with a boy? That’s horrible advice

[t-8900]

you're a degenerate anon.

[Curmudgeon]

Anon IS dispensing horrible advice, but the parent's head-in-the-sand approach is awful too. It is time for the parent to have "The Big Talk" with her daughter about dating and relationships and that whole mess, because sooner or later, it's coming.

[t-8900]

@Curmudgeon true but I think its something that needs to be emphasized in a way as to why to WAIT until after high school or at least till like SR. year to even consider a relationship... tbh lots of predators. And I'd tell her when she's 18 she can have a boyfriend and he can come over when I'm around. Over-protective? Maybe. But I'll take that over my daughter getting raped or having some ass take advantage of her or pressure her.

[ElvenMr]

If you want this girl to end up like Kelly Bundy... yea, then that's a good advice.

It depends on her boyfriend in my opinion, is he trustworthy or not, is he a good guy or not.., responsible or not.

[Opinion Owner]

@t-8900 You're a loser, have fun raising your daughters.

[t-8900]

Not really. The loser is the one with a teen pregnancy on his hands, or a girl who was taken advantage of and left with trauma by a PoS or worse, a rapist. That's when you're a loser and lousy excuse for a parent. But maybe your old ass still wants a young thing. wouldn't happen under my roof. You'd be exiting at the barrel of a 12 gauge real quick.

[Opinion Owner]

@t-8900 You're really tough, you would have the barrel down your throat. Your daughter is sexting online.

[Subarugirl]

And you’re giving advice to a child that could get her pregnant, assaulted or worse…

[t-8900]

lol nah bro i dont think. But its clear we're dealing with another pedo here. y'all dont got the nuts for a real woman, let alone a scrap with a man