How long is normal to stay mad at you’re boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend has been mad at me for 4 days now. He still replies but it’s basic replies and clearly seems pissed off still. I have apologised but he still seems mad. I asked him how can I make it up to him and he said he doesn’t know.

[The_Maphio]

Why is he pissed at you, first and foremost? If it's something really serious, it's a big thing that he didn't dump you already. If it's a trivial matter, he might be oversensitive about the matter in exam and talking extensively about the issue is paramount for your couple's wellbeing.

[mark000h]

Without knowing more details, i don't know. If it was something really bad like cheating, he may never get over it. If something minor, give him some time but don't feel you need to do anything to "make it up to him" out of guilt. That's just bad.

[Asker]

Well basically I ruined one for his gifts for me for Christmas. He told me he was buying it last month, I don’t remember him saying that probably wasn’t listening at the time, and I bought it a few days ago myself.

[mark000h]

He's probably just disappointed and frustrated that now he has to think up something else to get you. Guys really don't have ideas about that in the first place so when we get an idea and it's dashed, now he's at square one. Don't beat yourself up about it though. It happens if he cares for you, he'll let it go and get you something else.

[Asker]

This was only an extra Christmas present, didn’t cost much he’s still getting me a main present so I guess I dunno why he’s so mad or for so long. I feel really bad cause he’s still mad at me for days but I didn’t mean to forget

[Asker]

And he’s also making me feel kinda cause he said it’s money he wasted and I didn’t listen to him

[mark000h]

Just tell him sorry one last time sincerely and then tell him it's hurting you that he's being cold or holding it over you. It shouldn't be that big a thing unless there's something else that's a deeper issue. He should accept your feeling bad about it and want to make you happy with something else.

[Asker]

No there’s no other deeper issue that I know about. I told him I don’t like him being mad at me , he said it happens and it’s going to take a few days or more and there’s nothing I can about it. I feel he’s kinda being harsh, it was an honest mistake

[mark000h]

Yes, he's being harsh for really no good reason. He could have turned it around and got some sympathy lovin out of it, instead he keeps being upset and making it worse than it is.

[Asker]

Yes I don’t really understand why he’s being like that, I don’t think I’d react the same

[mark000h]

Nope. I hope it works out ok but don't let him guilt you or make you feel bad. Accidents happen and you're sorry.

[Asker]

I’m really worried he’s going to break up with me or something, I just want us to go back to normal, but he said it takes time to get over things. Omg I’m just an anxious mess tonight :(

[SnakeBoop]

Girl, be careful.
You get thats an incredibly manipulative tactic. And sorry but NO MAN is worth that kind of hassle thinking his attention to you is god's gift.

[Anonymous]

If it’s just a regular argument then anything longer than 1-2 days (after you’ve properly solved and discussed the issue) is too long for me

[Miristheiss]

I don't know. Maybe a day or 2.

If it is dragging into a week... they are probably mulling over not being with you at all or maybe they've already moved on and you are being ghosted.

[ColoradoKid]

That depends upon what happened. If you care to DM me and open up I could possibly help you out better.

[noohair]

What the hell did you do? Guys usually let go after a few days.

[Asker]

Well basically I ruined one for his gifts for me for Christmas. He told me he was buying it last month, I don’t remember him saying that probably wasn’t listening at the time, and I bought it a few days ago myself.

[noohair]

That sounds immature to me. Not listening is a normal issue between men and women.

[Asker]

Do you think I was immature? Or him

[noohair]

Not listening is an issue, but why can't he return the item? He is being immature. And on a personal note, I would never get that mad with someone I was in love with over what you did. I would always apologize and try to move on.

[noohair]

Also, it is better to not look to be right or wrong. Blame adds up in a relationship and can cause problems.

[Asker]

He does say he love me but then I don’t understand why he’s so mad and for so long , I’ve apologised twice and even offered to return my item but he says it takes time to get over being annoyed

[noohair]

I am sorry, I guess I am older and a little wiser because I don't think you something so horrible. If I might guess, there is something more to this in his head. Maybe you not hearing what he says was building up and triggered by this event. And if he told you what he was getting for you, it was not going to be a surprise. So maybe it is you not absorbing what he says. I know that was an issue with my ex wife. I was talking and she never listened. I hope that you can resolve this.

[jahaims]

We talk through it until we have an agreement. We don't stay mad.

[boggboss]

Depends what was done

[Asker]

Well basically I ruined one for his gifts for me for Christmas. He told me he was buying it last month, I don’t remember him saying that probably wasn’t listening at the time, and I bought it a few days ago myself. Oops lol

[boggboss]

Then it depends on the guy I tend to deal with issues as soon as they arise as I dont like having festering problems in a relationship

[Wise4myage]

I say a week is long enough.

[Asker]

A week seems too long. I’m finding 4 days long enough already..

[Wise4myage]

Ok, go with that then and good luck.

[whosnumber1]

if you can't make up and move on... then move on

[Anonymous]

what did you fight about?