How long is too long to stay mad at your partner?

[Anonymous]

I’m currently on day 4 of my boyfriend being upset with me. We live together and we still talk but it’s blunt yes, no answers and no cuddling or sex or any other chat. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable. He doesn’t know how long he will be mad. The fight was my fault I’ve apologised 3 times since then. I’ve offered to make it up to him. Heck I’ve given him a massage, nothing sexual but still he’s mad. Is this too long? What do I even do here, I’m super stressed I just want him back to normal

[AmandaYVR]

There's no timelines for stuff like this. Depends on what was done, and the personalities of the two involved.

It's hella stressful and awkward and uncomfortable though, isn't it. Awful.

Since you've already apologized and taken the blame, all you can do is wait. Try to do your own thing, give him space, don't be too miserable yourself (maybe go out more than usual, do some activities, spend time with others or something), and just try to be patient. He's either genuinely upset, or could get over it but doesn't want to. Either way, not much else you can do.

[LordOfThePines]

For me, no longer than a few hours. Any longer than that, and we would need to sit down and talk it out until it is resolved.

[Asker]

We’ve spoke about it a few times and I apologised but he’s still mad so I don’t know how to fix it and he said he doesn’t know what would make him feel better

[LordOfThePines]

What was the causal issue to get him mad?

[Asker]

Basically we were out drinking and I started a fight with him cause I was insecure about his ex coming up to talk to him when I left to go to the toilet. I don’t really know why I got annoyed but after a few drinks logic went out the window. I’m not really one to get annoyed ever so it must have been the drink affected me too. I explained this and that was I mortified the next morning for starting a stupid fight. Hasn’t really helped so far

[LordOfThePines]

So he has been mad for days... because you expressed valid issue about his ex showing up around him when you are not there. It sounds like you need a better boyfriend.