Would you date someone who is covered in scars?

Question

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

No.

The reason for this is that people who have done self-harm do so because it is a clear indication of mental health issues, and not everyone is equipped to deal with it. Unfortunately, the underlying issues that drive a person to do self-harm often poison a relationship and cause collateral damage. Even if it’s not done on purpose. So in other words, those with mental health issues can easily affect the people around them. Anyone who does not have these issues or does not know how to handle them has EVERY RIGHT to want to avoid them.

A bit of a backstory: I’ve dated a girl with chronic depression and I ended up in a depression myself. I’ve spent more time making her feel better about herself than I was enjoying the relationship. It DRAINED ME. It took me a while to recover from that relationship. Now that I’m wiser and more experienced, I see why my parents were against me dating someone with mental health issues. Because it has affected other family members as well (I’ll get to this later).

I’m a strong believer that a ‘healthy’ person should date another ‘healthy’ person. And those with mental health issues have to focus on combatting their mental health issues. This way they can not only work on themselves but also avoid possible collateral damage. I’m not saying these people do not deserve love. They do just like the rest of us. However, just because someone deserves love, doesn’t mean they cannot be toxic to others, intentionally or unintentionally. I’ve noticed that people who are dealing with mental issues often turn their partner into a personal therapist. And that’s where the problems often start.

For example, I have family members whose lives got literally DESTROYED by mental health issues. Not so long ago, we heard one tried to commit suicide, she almost left her husband and kids behind. It’s time for people to start and realize that they should not expect people to fix others, especially those who try to loath in their own pity and only want to complain (another thing lots of people with mental health issues do. Is complain and not help themselves). Those who think that people who avoid dating such people are “ignorant” or have no empathy, are ironically ignorant and selfish themselves.

So people can get mad at people like myself for staying away from those having self-harm scars. But if preserving my emotional and mental health makes me a bad person, then so be it. No one owes anyone anything, especially not something as personal as a relationship.

VanillaSalt · Accepted Answer

Depends on the scars.

I have many some I’m embarrassed I got cause it’s from something stupid and some I’m proud of cause I got them helping others. I got scars on my face from when I picked pimples. On my sides from my heavier days. In my feet from being where I wasn’t supposed to doing what I wasn’t supposed to.

I got a scar under my right eyebrow from an exploding window helping a woman out of a burning car. All over my hands because I work hard at my job.

Scars are just easy material for conversations. If a woman’s face was heavily scarred I might have an issue but not so much not dating her as making surgery to fix it a priority. Looks are important after all but most issues can be fixed with enough effort. If not then Ide probably be to invested yo back out at that point. Looks are important but not that important.

That being said. Imperfections arnt meant to be shown off. Cover that up and show bit by not as they come to know you otherwise good luck.

Lucy68 · Accepted Answer

Scars or not we're all still beautiful creatures in this world. I have scars both physically (some are from a near fatal car accident that happened in October) while others are emotional (I have had past...). If my significant other have scars I would still love them with all my heart. Like I stated scars or not we're all beautiful creatures in this world❤️

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

Scars like that are scary as they look self inflicted.
How recent are they?
Have you dealt with you're issues?
Would I want to even take the time to know?
I have enough things going on in my life to not really want to be looking after someone like that!

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Whether I dated such a person would depend on how the scars happened. Surgery? Self-harm? Accident?

AmandaYVR · Answer

Those look like self-inflicted, so no.

funtime_01 · Answer

I dated a girl one time who had self harm scars all over her arms and legs, like that, it literally brought a tear to my eye. I just kissed them, kissed her and held her for a while. So yes, I would date someone like that. Some girls and guys just struggle massively mentally, whether that is because of life, circumstances, pain, insecurities etc. Also, if that is you, are you okay?

DJB72 · Answer

I was lucky. I suffered major depressive illness after my dad died, including self harm and multiple suicide attempts. Only one cut left a visible scar. That was twenty years ago. I've had tough times since, but never got back into such a dark place again.

Yes, if I were single again I'd be ok with dating someone who has scars.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope I battled my own mental health issues being with someone who does this would be a trigger for me and send me back into a very dark place I don’t ever want to go back into plus I would be constantly on the edge and fearful to the point I wouldn’t be able to sleep or eat because I would be worried I would say something to upset them and they go and harm themselves because of it

Phoenix98 · Answer

If they are self inflicted scars then no.

I would prefer not to honestly I lost my best friend to suicide and it was very difficult for me dealing/seeing him the way that he was up until his death.

So the thought of having to go through that again and with someone I could potentially love.. I just would rather not.

If they are just scars gotten from injuries or accidents, stuff like that then no it wouldn't bother me.

ItsMeElliana · Answer

I probably would, if i have feelings for em, but if they still self harm and do it more, ill try my best to not let them do it but if they still do it i think id become distant and start losing feelings... just looking at that picture hurts my heart as to how someone could do that

Киттйлинк · Answer

self inflicted scars? no way. I do not need a person with mental problems as a life partner but I would try to help them if they accept my help. Depression and suicidal personalities turn me off I cannot see a partner in such people, especially now that I am going through rough time I can't add extra negativity.

I hope that person got help. He's sick.

DaveJord · Answer

Not those type of scares it os apparent they are masochistic or into self mutilation... either because they feel they deserve to be punished or take pleasure in causeing pain.

People who don't or can't love themselves rarely if ever can truly love someone else. Or eventually will extend that sense of pleasure in pain to others.

jaybee281 · Answer

I have 2 scars on my left leg and 6 on my back - they were all on accident - I wouldn't mind it at all if it's like that - And I know other women never minded mine - But your question is much more related to self harm than scars.. And that's a problem

XXblack88 · Answer

Depends if the self harm scars are from there teen years and they don't do it any more sure why not? If they are currently doing to it themself no I don't want too walk on egg shells not knowing what's going too trigger them.

Msputiton · Answer

It depends why they got them. If they are doing reckless and illegal things to get them no. It tells me they could be trouble. If a bad accident or mistake caused it. Np

Starla1234 · Answer

Naturally occurring scars, yes I would, self harm scars, no most likely not

bamesjond0069 · Answer

If they are pretty self harm scars i don't have a problem with its appearance. If its like the pic above fuck no. One of my long term fuck buddies had really pretty scars down her thigh. didn't bother me at all.

Now for long term commitment there are more important considerations than physical scars that come from self harm.

AaronKrieger · Answer

Sure, if it's like the ones in the image. I'm covered in scars all of my arms mostly. You forget they're even there especially when they fade over time, since no one is just looking at their hands/arms all day.

YesICan · Answer

No i would not date someone like that. If it was from an car accident or something sure, but self-inflicted? Nope, i don't want to wake up one day with my nut sack missing and blood all over the bed.

jess05 · Answer

I don't see why not. As long as they had a good personality, and were confident being who they are. 😊

dustybiker · Answer

Most everyone has scars. Scars are stories. Life experience.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Self inflicted no, otherwise yes. I have a number of them.

Anonymous · Answer

My girlfriend told me she’s been through a lot and cut herself to isolate the pain, put her mind elsewhere.
But my love for her overweight her scars tremendously, I feel like I matter so that I could be there and talk, let her vent instead of isolating her pain.
If someones scars hinders you from having a relationship, then you’re not the one to help the person recover from what caused them.

BillyBalls · Answer

Please get some help. If those scars are from self harm you've done some serious damage. You need to stop immediately. What does your family say about it?

pup4life · Answer

Self inflicted, NO, because that comes with a lot more baggage then just scars

melanieeeB · Answer

Normal scars sure but honestly yours are scary as hell. Are you okay?

TsAubreyKate · Answer

Totally I have scars from being stabbed , falling off buildings, being hit by trucks attacked by animals , shot etc. I’m not the strongest guy but my body is pretty durable

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

With those type of scars, I would only date them, if I knew they had help and the cutting stopped

mk200195 · Answer

I mean i have scars but those are not self inflicted. So, someone like that in the image probably not

unknown_xoxo · Answer

Yes, we all have battle scars some are physical and some emotional.. At the end of the day It all comes down to the heart you have and the kind of person you are

devilish-cutie · Answer

yes, i would, as long as it not like this on the face haha..

cookiecrusher · Answer

Would investigate further.

Self inflicted would need to provide proof of a sane mind.

By accident, medical reasons and such wouldn't even be a issue.

Have to say i also have some big scars, so maybe bias.

BCA6010 · Answer

Not if they're from self-harm, which it looks like most of the ones in the photo are.

molonski2 · Answer

Self abuse - NO , certainly NOT , life is tough enough..

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah. Scars are marks of survival. My best friend has shrapnel wounds, for gods sake.

jshm2 · Answer

Nope. Never date crazy. It should be a rule taught in school.

Carlos_El_Craigo · Answer

Have done. Recently she broke up with me, not relating to anything like this. She self harmed a lot when she was at school.

patrick677 · Answer

shit i have lot of scars but this look like a real prisoner im than a new prisoner 🤣

Anonymous · Answer

No. They aren't ready for a partner if they are self harming.  Just assuming self harm since you weren't definite.

Anonymous · Answer

Was this question really just an excuse to show off your cutting and stitches?

Anonymous · Answer

That's self harm. They need to go in straight jacket and under the therapy lot of medicines and talks. Do not date people like that there's plenty of good guys and girls out there

ChkltCat · Answer

If you can do that to yourself, I wonder what you can't do to others

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

If they fell or had an accident yes but self harm fuck no cause if you don't love yourself how can you ever love me

JohnK123 · Answer

That’s scary… I can think of violent fights with knives…. So I wouldn’t

HooliganMcCooligan · Answer

Sure! If that's self-harm they'd have to promise me they'll work on it tho

Anonymous · Answer

the place you have your stitches on your arm are the same place i have my scars from when i tried it and on the same arm to. not as many as yours but still some

Yellovv · Answer

This kind of people are sick, they need medical help..

Rafanrog · Answer

He'll yeah , if them ankles fine

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

Not to that fucking extreme.

Cubus · Answer

Scars are nothing to be ashamed of.

MemeSupreme · Answer

i am, so sure why not 🤷‍♀️

Nerdz2003 · Answer

yeah I wouldn't mind :)

claudia32 · Answer

everyone answer my question

HawkPerception · Answer

Looks like those are self harm, so probably not.

msc545 · Answer

yes. It is just skin after all.

Twalli · Answer

Like that probably not, because they look recent

Miristheiss · Answer

Maybe... it just depends.

Better_off_here · Answer

sure it is what is inside that truly matters.

JosyJosy · Answer

Only if no more are added.

Hangry06 · Answer

No. I can't deal with that immaturity

Anonymous · Answer

My current girlfriend has self harm scars.

noohair · Answer

Battle scars, surgery scars or self harm scars?

WowwGirl · Answer

Like a cutter, no way

Would you date someone who is covered in scars?

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