Would you date someone with self harm scars?

[RainbowFanGirl]

I have some cuts on my wrists from when I used to harm myself. I wear bracelets to hide them because people might think their gross and such. :/ Do people mind them? My boyfriend doesn't, and he actually took my wrists and kissed the scars better. I just wanna know what you think.

Yes, of course.

Maybe...

No! Never!

Updates

+1 y

they're**

[chrisbigman]

As long as she got help or is getting help, then I can tolerate them. Hopefully, they heal quickly. But if she's still doing it and/or doesn't plan to stop, then it'd be hard to see a future with her if she may be dead soon. Apparently, she doesn't seem to value her life much. Don't get me wrong, I'll try to help her. But it would appear she has serious issues to get resolved. She should do that first before being in a relationship. People should be happy in relationships, not sad or anything. I know sometimes it's not happy, but they should make every effort to be (happy).

[bodell]

I have. and I'm a normal, jocky dude, who's usually weirded out by stuff pretty easily. Like I wouldn't date a trans person for instance. At the same time tho, any decent guy wants to help and wouldn't disqualify for scars.

[jessicorn]

tbh... i wouldn't... i used to suffer from depression and cut myself as well (but only a few cuts... you can't even tell as i have no scars)... so i know that someone with that kind of emotional baggage can be tough to handle... especially if you're someone who already went through it... having another person like that in your life can be tough... so personally, i wouldn't

[RainbowFanGirl]

I understand, I wouldn't date someone with the same problems as me. It's too much for me to handle. I did it once and it didn't work out so I get it.

[jessicorn]

during my depression period i was dating a guy... & i should have handled with my problems first before trying to seek happiness else where cause i ended up making him depressed... he just couldn't understand why he couldn't make me happy... so yeah... dating someone like that is super tough... but if you've moved on & it has been some time since you've been depressed, then i guess it could work

[OnceUponADream143]

The same thing happend to me, my boyfriend at that time (we broke up) just couldn't handle me anymore. He even admitted he was tired of me. :c

[jessicorn]

@OnceUponADream143 yep... but it helped me learn sth really important... I can't be happy as long as I dont wish to work on myself by myself...

[Torridon]

Same. I have BPD and I can't deal with another person's baggage. (Or be in a relationship). Since I want to kill myself simply because someone said they didn't like my shoes.

[BeeNee]

As weird as it may be to say, those that self harm in that manner typically aren't suicidal, just using real pain to deal with emotional pain. People in general do all sorts of stuff to deal with pain and things like depression, but I'm not going to punish someone for going through that or assume that they are now some undateable leper.

[Dandeus]

Self harm may not be a suicide attempt, but self harmers DO commit suicide at a significantly elevated rate. It's an unhealthy coping mechanism and big red flag for deeper issues.

[BeeNee]

@Dandeus Although I agree, if the scars are old as opposed to fresh, and the person has dealt with or is dealing with their issues, and they seem to have their life together, they may in fact be dateable. Human beings do so much regrettable stuff in life, especially in youth, but holding someone to something they did forever when we all have our own flaws and weaknesses seems a bit hypocritical.

[RainbowFanGirl]

My scars are old and I stopped cutting so you do have a point there

[9mfeo]

Most people struggle with mental illness. They're a part of you and they're a part of your history. You're stronger for having gone through hell and come out on the other side.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Well thank you so much. :)

[9mfeo]

No problem, love. I'm happy for you.

[Dannii]

Scars don't mean they're any lesser than a human being. If I date someone like that, I'll make sure to show him more care and concern.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Thank you for answering. :)

[Mesonfielde]

I voted B), primarily because I just find it awkward that someone cuts their wrists with razors just because that's what they learn from media to do when they feel down about themselves.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Honestly, when I did it, I had no idea that people used that method to cope with stress. I just really hated myself and wanted to harm myself in any way possible.

[Mesonfielde]

Using razors makes zero sense. I had a friend who also sought out a way to self-harm, but she was heating up a pin and applied it to her skin to burn it. Weird as hell and I definitely do not recommend it, but it's still less likely to cause TOO much damage and cause infections and other crap that can come along with razorcuts. And it's not something that people typically do, it's not what the media says that "emo" people do and what "depressed people do" and all that. Stereotypical behavior for nothing but the sake of self-destruction is in my opinion just silly. I also am not sure how anyone comes up with the idea on their own, considering bleeding out is against the principle of survival; and most lifeforms are pretty intent on not dying.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Some people just hate themselves so much so they use that as an outlet. exactly why I told nobody, because I was afraid that people would judge me for it. Just kept it to myself and hid them. Well I stopped doing it now because I relized it's not a good mannerism to relieve stress.

[ShaeNielson]

You obviously don't' understand self harm nor self harmers.

[Mesonfielde]

@ShaeNielson Yeah, I really don't.

[NerdInDenial]

I don't mind because we all have personal demons that we have to face. Some people's scars are not physical but still exist. As long as she didn't have fresh ones; if she did, I'd be more concerned in getting her help or finding a way to help her. Scars remind us that we can overcome difficult times.

[dogbert444]

You have an ace boyfriend!! That's what any guy should do for any lady!!

He's a star, so don't let him go!

[RainbowFanGirl]

I won't hehe. Thanks so much. :)

[Watermelonoma]

probably not, because i run the risk of ending up with a person who might be too depressed for me to handle or relate with

[RainbowFanGirl]

I should've said someone who formerly did it.

[Watermelonoma]

my vote would be B

[RainbowFanGirl]

Ok. :)

[EmpatheticLady]

Yes, I would. They don't take away from a wonderful personality.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Thank you. :)

[EmpatheticLady]

You're welcome!

[Hans222]

That's such a nice signal from your boyfriend :D
Of course, I would check with you if that self harm problem was under control now... such things need treatment.
But I would not let you down, no way!

[Anonymous]

If someone used to cut themselves then that person has been through some pain. If they stopped then they're incredibly strong because self harm is a really dreadful addiction. I'd never think badly of someone who suffered through something like that

[pervertedjester]

In my defense I was only trying to see how sharp I could make my pocket knife. Wasn't depressed at all. But i can't remember anyone saying anything about them or refusing to date me because of them.

[OnceUponADream143]

I used to cut and still do occasinally. Even if I didn't, I would still date someone who self harmed and help them get trough it. Stay strong.

[RedThread]

Well I'd worry about them and want to know they're okay. If I think they're stable enough for a relationship then sure I'd give her a chance.

[Whoooooooooo]

I would because I've had moments like this so I know how the person must have felt.

[Filipe97]

If I knew a girl harmed herself I'd feel like giving her a hug. It's not gross or anything. I'd date a girl like that and try my best to make her feel loved

[Dandeus]

Having dealt with suicide threats before, that's a kind of emotional torture I never want to experience again.

No fucking way for me.

[CountVronsky]

Yes, I have no problem with that. I actually used to find them pretty cool. So much that I have some myself :P

[Phoenix98]

If they were not recent ones then sure, I mean we all have traumatic pasts, scars and wounds.

[Prof_Don]

All a case by case basis, no hard fast rules here! I'd still give her a try. #NobodyIsPerfect

[jacquesvol]

If the scars were old and faded, yes. Not if the scars are recent.

[A-Y-Y-Y--L-M-A-O]

yea why not aslong as they stop or dont cut anymore

[XRabbitHeartX]

Yeah I definitely would. We all have our own struggles and obstacles in life. You have to accept people for who they are and if you do then you accept them for their history too.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Yes
And I'd to keep you from doing it ever again :/

[Likes2drive]

I don't see why not, most people have type of scars weather self inflicted or not

[ElizabethBiersack]

That wouldn't make me not like a guy. I would still like him just as much

[Ashely_Princess]

Of course I would :) <3

[RainbowFanGirl]

:) :)

[fauchelevent]

Yes, I would.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Thank you. :)

[LittleSally]

I would, but I'd be careful.

[NotMyUsername15]

No, I wouldn't. :(

[RainbowFanGirl]

Why not? :(

[EvilPimp]

I don't know if I could do that one.

[GoldCobra]

Yes I would still date u

[thotramus]

I would, if she won't harm herself in the future.

[Anonymous]

I actually would not...

[RainbowFanGirl]

Why?

[Opinion Owner]

Tbh When I see people with self harm scars I get kinda sad. What if I make that person harm themselves?

[RainbowFanGirl]

Oh I see

[VampireEmpress]

I don't care at all.