He doesn’t like me, so why keep coming back?

[Anonymous]

We used to be friends with benefits but he ended things. 4 mons later he’s in a relationship (after telling me over a year that he has commitment issues) he recently matched me on a “catfish” profile. (He’s pretending that someone catfished him) why? He claims to have no interest in me outside of sex.. I accept that.. but why is he back? He won't stay away.

Updates

+1 y

Thank you so much! I really appreciate your honesty and you sharing your experience.

[Anonymous]

I’ve learned that often times when guys say they aren’t ready for a relationship, it’s not always in general, it’s just with you. That’s why we get so blind-sided when they swear up and down to us that they don’t want anything, then the right one comes along and they change their tune, suddenly ready to date and they’re all about their girlfriend. It’s shit. Secondly, you are probably the only woman willing to even talk to him after being ghosted, used for sex and won’t give him drama about it. So that’s why he’s back. I know that’s kind of blunt and I in no way mean to be rude but just honest.

[Asker]

Yea honestly this is true… it honestly hurt at first but then I didn’t care… it doesn’t hurt me that he’s in a relationship either. I laughed because it’s something that I had mentioned to him previously.. I told him it makes no sense why guys do that.. but I know that it’s something that I allowed. I’m hoping that now after our last conversation he stays gone for good.. I’ve never wanted drama I just want him to stay away.. I’m truly happy for him/them. But it’s sad that he’s willing to cheat on his girlfriend.

[Opinion Owner]

9/10 he will come back, because they always do but just not for the right reason and not with anything new to bring to the table. I hope that when he does reach out though, you just ignore him. You already know what awaits you in that situation, and that it won’t be what you deserve. Plus you’re completely right, it’s really fucked that he’s down to cheat on his girlfriend, but if anything it just shows what you would’ve gotten if he had given you that relationship, so in a way you really dodged a bullet! Anyhow, I’m sorry you’re going through this. In my early to mid-20s I dealt with guys like him, been in your shoes and that’s why I’m able to tell you things now. It doesn’t suck any less, but it does show you what kind of dude you don’t want and what things you will not tolerate with the next guy going forward.

[Anonymous]

Okay, yes im younger than you and you might not want to here advice from a 16 year old girl but don't you think the reason he keeps running back to you and never staying is because you let him? See he knows that you took him back and you will continue to take him back and any given time

[Asker]

Yes but the last few times I haven’t given in.. I’ve been ignoring his advances. I’m hoping that now he takes the hint.

[RicFlair312]

Puddy is a powerful drug.

[Asker]

Really now? Lol

[RicFlair312]

It make some men display some unexplainable behaviors. But I solely blame the female population... lol

[Asker]

So does that mean it may very well be true that you can get them to do almost anything? Interesting. Lol

[RicFlair312]

You can get that from most guys without giving puddy... some with just a coke & a smile..

[Asker]

Yes, I agree with that. Lol

[RicFlair312]

Finally... I just love when a plan comes 2gether... next time I'll let you win , so we'll be even... lol