Is this desperate?

[Anonymous]

I met a guy in August on a dating app. We have snapped every day since and have hung out every weekend. He got deployed for 6 months and left late October. In the beginning he said he wanted to take things slow, which we did. Before he left I asked him where he saw this going and he said he saw potential in what we had and left it at that. He did say he didn't expect me to not see anyone while he was gone (since we aren't official) and I flat out told him I am not seeing or talking to anyone else (which is true). Is it selfish of me wanting us to become official. I get where he is coming from since he is gone for 6 months and it is hard to have a relationship/build a relationship long distance. However, it feels like sometimes he is just stringing me along. I know it is my choice if I don't talk to anyone else and I "wait" for him but at the same time it would be nice to have answers. How should I go about this? My brothers said to leave it the way it is and see what happens after he gets back. A few of my guy friends are saying to just ask him again about the relationship and the other few are saying that I'm being stupid as they said he would have made it official by now if he wanted a relationship. I just don't know who to listen to.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the guys saying he would have made it official by now. Usually guys who want to take it slow or whatever they say to not form an official relationship, have past hurt they haven't gotten over or they are still weighing their options therefore, not ready to commit.

Deep down inside, you want it to be official. Girls tend to feel this way when the situation-ship is being guided in a way that they believe is unfair to them. The feeling is right. The problem is, you would have to put your foot down for what you want and in the act of doing this, you risk losing him. Because of this, girls tend to not say anything that will push him away and will bare the wait until they can't any longer because they have feelings for the guy and aren't ready to lose him. The truth is, that is the risk you are going to have to take if you want your say in things.

[LikeALog]

If you care for him, wait. I've been in a similar situation and I didn't want to dwell on a possible relationship. I'd worry about our relationship surviving. I'd be wondering if she had found someone while I was gone. I would be dreading coming home to learn she found someone else. The way he put it eliminates stress about whether or not there is still a relationship when he gets home.

[Asker]

Thanks for you point of view. So should I ask him any questions that could help make me feel better? I have no clue if he is talking to other girls. I want to be fair with him since he is gone but how can I get reassurance?

[LikeALog]

If you two are still communicating with each other and he isn't sounding

[LikeALog]

indifferent towards you, I'd say that's a good sign he's still interested in you.

[Asker]

we are still communicating. we snap every day. Which I remind myself if he wasn't interested he probably won't be still contacting me but then I have the little voice in my head saying he could be talking to other girls.