Does this come off as desperate?

[helpha]

The guy i've been seeing/sleeping with seemed into me at first but seems to have lost interest. I texted him last week saying I can't see him anymore because I like him and think it's one sided, to which he reassured me and fought to keep us seeing each other, and said he wants to talk the next time we do. He ended up being an hour late when we met last weekend, came over drunk, we hooked up, and he didn't want to talk later because he was 'too drunk' but wanted to talk sometime for sure to clarify. He didn't reach out all week but asked yesterday if we can meet this weekend. Before bed he sent me a pic of himself saying goodnight and I said cutely "i love your face" then said goodnight, and he didn't respond or even like the comment, which was honestly embarassing for me. Maybe I shouldn't expect a response but I still feel awkward.

Anyway, I have friends making plans this weekend and I have to organize my time, but keep trying to play it cool for him to text me for when we can hang out and almost want to block time because I just want to talk and clarify and either have clarity, or end things for good and tell him not to contact me anymore (he always does). Is it desperate for me to text him again just asking what day we will hang out? See I know this is normal adult behavior, but he's so hot and cold that I just feel insecure.

[Anonymous]

It’s not desperate, but I do feel like you’re a bit delusional. You like this guy a lot and somehow keep telling yourself this will pay off in the end when that’s not the case. I don’t know why you think this man is genuine or not trying to say what needs to be said in order to keep getting sex from you but the proof is in the pudding. He said what he had to say, did what he had to do to get you back into bed and now he’s showing you once again exactly why you are delusional in your hope for change. Open your eyes and ears, pay attention to what he’s doing vs what he’s saying, so you can recognize he isn’t gonna change and be done.

[Opinion Owner]

Then to say “he always comes back”, honey this is not a flex and I say that politely. It is literal proof of how you’ve trained him to think he can fuck up, come back over and over and you will accept him no matter what. If I were you I would find that disrespectful rather than some “he just can’t stay away from me he must really like me but scared of commitment” type of story.

[MsProsperity]

‘No text? Don’t text. No call? Don’t call’ follow that because they guy doesn’t like you and he only wants sex from you. He might be in love with someone else that doesn’t satisfy him sexually. End that thing and find a man who’ll love you as much as you love him, who’ll respect you and who sees his future with you. If you’re really 29, get a real man sis you’re not getting any younger

[Staximus]

Does this guy ever take you out on dates? Go out to eat or go out and do fun stuff?

[Staximus]

Does he ever do anything nice or thoughtful for you?

[helpha]

No he does neither - he just wants to hook up. When we do hang out though we have hung out like 12 hours straight every time and have a good mental connection and clearly have something between us... but yeah no dates or anything nice.

[Staximus]

He's just using you for sex, forget about this bum

[Staximus]

You have allowed yourself to be used for sex

[Staximus]

I don't know why you are expecting more from a guy that has never even taken you out to eat

[helpha]

you're totally right. your comments were a bit of a wakeup call haha.

[Staximus]

Where did you meet this guy the first time

[helpha]

On tinder 5 years ago, but we went on some dates and after about a month I got into a 4yr relationship to which he pursued me/messaged me for years declaring he liked me, and we reconnected when I broke up with my ex, about a month ago - he came on really strong at first and then clearly lost interest.

[Staximus]

Just ask him flat out if he ever wants to do anything else with you besides have sex

[lightbulb27]

Stop being pathetic.