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What do you mean by pursue? I like pursuing a girl in a sense that I like to take charge, ask her out, sure pay for first date etc. If you mean girl shows interest sure. It depends on how she shows her interest and even if she asks me out I'll take her number, and ask her out.
Same way men have *game* meaning what they would do in mating dance to pursue a girl, get her to be interested in him, and ask her out. Girls have their own version of game ie how to grab a guys attention, how to flirt, how to keep him interested, and get him to ask her out. At least both men and women used to "have" some level of said skillset. You can see that playing out in bars or clubs for example.
If he doesn't like you there is nothing you can do, same way if a girl isn't interested - advice for men is move on. Now if there is some interest you could flirt and use your feminine charms to get him even more interested, get him enchanted by you, and hopefully he asks you out. There is no black and white advice, same way it wouldn't be for men.
You don't come off as being needy by having composure and reading the situation. Then use your feminine charms, if he still seems clueless then subtly be more obvious. If he seems interested then get him to be comfortable and ask you out.
Of course it depends on the situation and guys, if you see their is connection you could ask him out. But I'd suggest putting ball in his court and getting him to act, if the interest is clear and he is at least somewhat sure you'd like him, he'd be more likely to take initiative and ask you out.
You could be more direct and simply present him with certain scenario - which will clearly imply that you are interested and would like to go out with him. For example there is art show, you're both interested in art - you're flirting, he seems keen. Present him with scenario which makes it clear that this is something you are interested in, and he should ask you to join him. Alternative could be simply giving him your number and implying hey if you like what you see call.
In situations he really doesn't seem to be taking any initiative and you know he seems interested. Then sure go ahead and take a shot. Don't be too obvious or needy, keep your composure, be confident, ask out but don't be too direct (as different guys can react differently). Hey I'm dying to go XYZ come with me. Take your phone out ask him for his number, and say something like great I'll call you, smoothly end the conversation if needed, smile and move on, unless he still seems keen.
Asking a guy is double edged sword though, still for some guys it can be off putting and you might come off as desperate. But only thing worse than failing is not taking a shot. You wouln't know until you take that shot. So before you go about asking someone out make sure there seems some level of interest and there is some reciprocation. Confidence is key here.
I'd suggest getting the guy to take initiate first, that's simply how the dating dynamics work, its still better to have some investment from him. Not to mention its just biology whether we like it or not. If you like the guy, sure you have no problem asking him out, but let's be honest you rather guys take initiative. If a girl liked me and asked me out - I'll be flattered, it shows confidence. But I'll take her number instead and take initiative. Life is short go for it!
I have been waiting a lifetime to have this Playboy grade colliegeate hottie come up to me and tell me she wants me more than life itself...
But as a guy I would be turned on, but long-term I would have my doubts. Every guy would love the woman making the first move, but he would begin to wonder how many others has she approached. Is she aggressive? Is she hypersexual, which sounds good starting up, until she banging all your friends, coworkers and family members. That's what really scares most guys.
From there he would begin to doubt other things. And he would feel like he was playing with fire. Fun in the moment, but the fear of getting burnt would set in. But not before he has some fun.
That's when she would begin to feel used. But I am still waiting on that Play Collegiate chick to bang on my door, then on me. I have had that fantasy from about 14 to current. Still has happened. So...
Actually when I pursued a guy he told me he was so happy I shot my shot. Lemme tell you guys are NERVOUS. The don’t want to be rejected and I don't know why they have to be the chasers. In all honesty, they might not know how to approach a woman so that she doesn’t feel like he’s harassing or making her uncomfortable so I’m all for women approaching men. In my experience guys love that and respect you a whole lot even if they reject you.
I don’t think it is a turn off nor is it desperate depending on how she pursues him. It usually depends on the guy. But sometimes some girls tend to come on WAY to strong and that makes her look desperate. Like one of my girlfriends visited this guy at work when it was only her third time meeting him in person and acted like he was her boyfriend. A couple days after that he stopped talking to her.
Opinion
97Opinion
-------------There is a big difference in pursuing and annoying. Men love to be pursued but not annoyed with overwhelming clingyness.
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG
"Desperate" is all in you women's heads I think. Totally! I don't know where you get it from or how it's "ingrained" in you, but it's the same as the reverse with you. It's ONLY a turn off if we've already rejected you and you aren't taking no for an answer. Otherwise a turn on if we like you back. And it's nice to be asked (once) even if we don't like you back (everyone likes to be liked). Still flattered. Personally I prefer her to ask me out (even though it has almost never happened). But if she does it, then I know she must have some genuine interest in me, vs if I ask her, some women might say yes to a guy (initially at least) just because someone asked her. I don't want that. I want her to be interested back! This way I know it.
I think guys are used to having to work quite hard to gain women's affection, so if a woman suddenly offers it freely, it can make him take her interest for granted, a little.
If I had to make a comparison, it's like recently, you started to be able to lease supercars where I live. So suddenly, young idiots would be driving Lamborghinis, Ferraris, etc. that they couldn't afford in a million years. It kind of made me lose my admiration for those supercars, because part of the appeal is that it is only a select few who can afford them.
Replacing gender doesn't means now you will have privileges of majority saying you "yes". Established notions are different and reality is totally different. In this phase of a girl she would get to know that it was never guys who approached for sex but it was an agenda promoted and facilitated by those girls who were never approach so that good ones also dont get bfs.
By simply approaching nothing happens and this is actual reality i dont understand same girls go nagging if boys dont accept their rejection. So girls its time go live rather than go live online. Well you won't always face rejection from boys too its just that if you were his type you would not get a chance to take the tension or he might indicate you beforehand. Least you can convince is for a date
Your question is kind of comical.
Because you know guys have the same problem. My response to you would be the same c response most women on here would give to the guy asking it. "Why is she so important. Just move on to another girl".
Look I get it the heart wants what the heart wants. But what you're asking is "How do i make a certain guy fall in love with me". Can't be done. And even if it could. In the long run would you really want that. To know you manipulated his interest?
Why would that be a turn-off? If she likes me and tells me, stick to me or prefer talking to me over others, I'll gladly take "falling in love" into consideration. It signals that the girl is well aware of what she wants, maybe even confident or bold, which tend to be attractive traits.
It's not a turn off unless she does it in a really bad way. And she needs to respect his lack of interest, if he turns her down. Doesn't matter if she likes him if he has no interest back. Just get it verbally not by one of the so called tests, because those are worthless method to see if a guy like you or not.
I guess in U. S. culture where it's practically been made illegal for men to approach women, it's now easier for women to make the 1st move than for men. But if you're too aggressive or come across like you're desperate and would jump on any man you see, that's going to turn off guys with higher standards.
As you’ve stated in your update what is or isn’t a turn on varies greatly from culture to culture and person to person.
My wife is my wife today mostly because she very heavily perused me initially. If she didn’t wouldn’t of been interested very likely. At the time I had just returned from Iraq and not to toot my horn there was several ladies interested. Her dogged pursuit was a serious advantage, especially since most played hard to get which was a huge turn off for me.
Its not. The problem is just because you are interested doesn't mean he is. Ladies are you interested in every guy who pursues yiu? So take the blow to your ego and accept he was never interested in the first place and stop the ego saving "guys don't like to be pursued, I tried it once and he said no."
It's a turn on, but only if I like her.
If I don't like her and she does it, it's not a turn on, but I also don't find it annoying unless I'm touched (pervy banter doesn't bother me and a lot of my friends just do that for shits)
On the other side of that coin, if I like her and she doesn't pursue me, I lose interest.
It's not a turn off and let's get over this dumb myth that is being perpetuated in the last decades that "men enjoy the chase". No they don't. Chasing is feminine behaviour and no woman in this universe values a man who does that. This is all beta male attitude promoted by pop culture like stupid disney cartoons.
Honestly, I think if the guy is turned off by something like the girl pursuing him... you're better off without him. Either that and/or he's not into you- in which case just leave him be because pursuing him regardless won't change his mind, y'know?
Problem in this situation is that if he doesn't respond to her in the way she wants, she's very likely to start spreading vicious rumors about him. Being she's a woman of course people will believe these vicious rumors and it will damage his reputation severely.
It's not and whoever is spreading this must have a punch in the face -_-
Okay, some men are like that, probably because they want to do to pursue themselves and be more "masculine". I don't know to be honest, it's such a strange thought to me.
It isn't for someone with secure relationship frame.
For insecure avoiding/switching it's a totally different matter.
It could also be that they aren't interested in you in the first place. that you aren't his type.
( just because you are a female doesn't mean that you are sexually desirable by default for males or that they are turned on by you )
Begin to look at what kind of males you usually go for.
It could be you get sexually attracted to those that aren't in you.
It scares a guy when you are doing all of the pursuing. He wants to make sure what your intentions are with him. Call me old fashioned, but since the beginning of time, the man wants to do the chasing. After all men are born hunters.
It is a turn off if the woman isn't attractive in his eye, definitely lowers her stake on the pecking order as he prioritises his mates he knows you are “easy pickens” and will put you on the back burner as a backup or fuck buddy when he needs his nuts drained saving his efforts for the hard fishes. Human nature I guess.
I will appreciate the lady effort that... she even tried to pursued a guy she like. I would have really immense amount of respect for her.
See i don't see that as slut shaming.
Pursuing is ok if it’s done equal investment but if you keep messaging him all the time that’s desperation and clinginess. Will need to stay at par with him he’ll like that. Stay elusive stay mysterious.
